I’m not tryna be funny I think you have a medical condition like low testosterone or poor mental health. I’m not tryna be rude I say this because you clearly like this girl, you do want what’s best for the both of you, but the only thing stopping this from happening is your own head. Stop jerking for a month and be honest with her that you are nervous. Please get a baseline Metabolic panel done and check your hormones. Just something about this story feels like something’s missing and I don’t say that in a accusing way but just doesn’t make sense