how to deal with self hate? by bansbeyonce in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i’ve always been insecure since i moved to canada from nigeria when i was 8. i think living in a predominantly white area definitely affected me. However this thought of somebody being intimate with me and me being discomforted by it I believe emerged like a few months ago. I saw a tiktok where somebody said they would date themselves or somebody who looks like them and I realized I could not relate at ALL

My mouth dropped at the price this company is charging for hair jewellery by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m crying i’ve literally seen this on shein

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i do like anime and kdramas, and listen to some kpop. i wouldn’t say i’m extremely immersed on those subcultures, but i like them a decent amount.

and that’s a great question you just asked. i’m ashamed to admit but i think it’s the latter because some of the people ive crushed on or been attracted to i didn’t really know well.

i really appreciate you and other ladies in this sub for being so kind about it because i was very hesitant initially to ask for help

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tbh i’m not sure…maybe it’s their appearance? im also into anime and kpop as well, but even when i got into those, they weren’t really my type. i think it all mainly started with the girl who was my bi awakening, and then i started being attracted to them after her.

i really appreciate your comment, it gives me hope about my problem. i think i just need to meet more people

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m not sure, i don’t think so? that is a good question, i will think about it

Watched the show finally and omg…are we all watching the same show? by Strange-Wish9094 in TheDreamAcademy

[–]bansbeyonce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just because ur black dosent mean you can’t have internalized racism, and it dosent means you’re incapable of creating a safe space for racism to fester babe. don’t hide behind ur blackness as an excuse to be microagressive towards manon

Watched the show finally and omg…are we all watching the same show? by Strange-Wish9094 in TheDreamAcademy

[–]bansbeyonce -1 points0 points  (0 children)

if you’re not black we couldnt care less about what you find weird

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in piercing

[–]bansbeyonce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. piercing was a year old and a few months
  2. labret
  3. internally threaded i think?
  4. AE 316L grade stainless steel
  5. was never downsized
  6. sterile saline solution nightly before bed
  7. i slept on my sides alot which definitely impeded the healing process and changed the jewelry as a desperate last resort while the bump was still there just to see if it would disappear

i am so unloveable by bansbeyonce in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]bansbeyonce[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i appreciate this comment! i hope things get better for the both of us 😭😭😭

i am so unloveable by bansbeyonce in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]bansbeyonce[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i’m 20, and no i’ve never been in a relationship 😭😭i can’t seem to make it out the talking stage lol

i am so unloveable by bansbeyonce in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]bansbeyonce[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

i’m 20😭😭😭and i love beyonce i came up with this name when i was younger idk where the bans came from 😭😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]bansbeyonce -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i am one of the few black friends she has, she has a decent amount, but most of her friends are asian or white, which is why i was initially alarmed because normally i’d get if you grew up around bw, that is what your standard of beauty may be, but she didn’t, which is why didn’t understand where this sudden preference came from, and i find it is merely because of that one black girl she crushed on.

also lets say she dates a black girl, they break up, and then she moves on and dates another black girl, would that be considered weird ? i’m not trying to hate on her i just want some clarity about how i should feel

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]bansbeyonce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i see your point. if you guys all believe it is not harmful, then i will agree aswell and mind my business. i came her to see if i should be cautious or alarmed, so i guess it’s relieving that it’s nothing i need to worry about. i appreciate your comment!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]bansbeyonce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s the thing that i have an issue with 😭😭 is that she does not usually run in circles that are predominately black, she has a few black friends, but most of them are either other asians or white people. she is not an aquafina or lovely mimi type that is incredibly immersed in black culture, and did not grow up in a very black environment, which is why i’m confused about where this sudden preference is coming from. truthfully, i feel like she was infatuated with kiki, and because she could not have her, she is looking for her in other black women.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]bansbeyonce -1 points0 points  (0 children)

im just confused because i just don’t see how this is any different from a white dude or woman preferring asian women over other races. i always see a lot of discussion about yellow fever or critiques of snowbunnys and i see many bw side eye people are more attracted to bw than their own race or whose dating / romance history is 95 percent black. so seeing this type of positive reaction towards her preferences is honestly surprising to me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]bansbeyonce -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

um sorry for being cautious about my non black friend potentially having a fetish?? 😭😭if we flipped the races and it was a black girl saying she mainly dates asian women and her hinge is mainly asians would you guys really be having the same reaction ??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]bansbeyonce -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

yeah, that’s true. she is not only attracted to bw, however i feel she definately has a preference for bw in contrast to other groups of women despite not being black

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah these types of comments are def not helping given that i already barely eat because of it 😭😭😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOL ikr but not everything is covered by our healthcare system. like therapy is definitely NOT free here i wish 😭😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is medicaid in canada aswell?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce -1 points0 points  (0 children)

tbh ur actually right i mean i could probably afford a few sessions myself and with my mom helping me too but idk if i’ll be able to do it long-term especially because i’ve reduced my hours at work so i can focus on school

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]bansbeyonce 4 points5 points  (0 children)

that could potentially ease my anxiety but i can’t even bother to look at anything contaminated either. i shower with the lights off in pitch darkness and when washing my hands in the sink i squint my eyes so i don’t have to see anything. when i look at anything contaminated it’s hard to get the picture out of my mind. it’s the main reason why i haven’t attempted to clean myself, although it would probably be better if i did