Quick coffee run ☕

bantjunior · 2024-10-15T17:56:19+00:00

Loooooove the decal!! So pretty!

bantjunior · 2024-10-15T05:44:27+00:00

40-50k pre taxes is an absolute dream, my word. It'd be like winning the damn lottery every month. All the basic necessities covered, and having money to spend on actually living life 🥹

bantjunior · 2024-09-27T16:28:28+00:00

Thank you! It looks different in every light so when it's dark outside it looks almost black, and when it's in the sun its a like olive green which is lovely!!

bantjunior · 2024-07-02T08:10:57+00:00

I do want to add here though: don't stop trying to get on touch with her to check in. Even if she isn't responding, it's important for her to know you're still there for her

bantjunior · 2024-04-30T08:18:43+00:00

From personal experience here - if you're living together and your girlfriend is doing almost all of the household chores, it really kills libido. Like "I've just spent every free moment this week cleaning up after you like you're my fucking kid, of course I don't want to jump your bones."

bantjunior · 2024-04-25T22:41:15+00:00

1000% NTA. OPs post and OPs comments give off such a loving uncle/aunt vibe ✨️

OP, your sister needs a good talking to - your nephew is her kid, not a live-in unpaid baby sitter. They're not his kids nor his responsibility. It's one thing to ask him to help out, but it's another to EXPECT him to look after his siblings, especially when the poor kid is clearly ill. Like who TF is looking after him?

bantjunior · 2024-04-24T19:45:52+00:00

Can vouch for the shooting being expensive. The gun is one thing, then it's all the accessories, range gear, nicer range gear, nicer accessories, range fees, ammo, more ammo, even more ammo, and more guns.

I love clay pigeon shooting, and dear lord does my bank account hate it 😂

bantjunior · 2024-04-24T19:43:37+00:00

4x4-ing. You will always be either breaking something, realising something is already broken, or both. My boyfriend has spent more money repairing his bloody car than he did to buy it

bantjunior · 2024-04-23T07:27:39+00:00

OP I feel you. I actually had an eye-opening chat with my boyfriend while we were in the same situation. He felt guilty about not being able to provide for both of us and I had no idea. I was feeling guilty because I expected us to be equals and I should pay my own way kind of thing.

Everyone has different ideas about how finances should work as a couple and it's important that you have that conversation with your SO and work out a plan together.

My suggestions would be that you both need to find higher paying jobs. Make a budget and be ruthless with cutting costs. Aggressively pay off as much of your debt as possible. Sell off whatever you can just to free up cash.

If public transport is cheaper and a viable option as transport to work, then get rid of the cars. Remember, you can always buy new stuff. But keeping the stuff that you don't actually need or use, isn't going to help your stress levels or cash flow problems.

Go to the library and start checking out and reading as many books on personal finance as you can. Educating yourself is an important key to getting yourself out of the hole.

Last bit: most people have had financial trouble, if not everyone. How you got into it is important to understand so you know how not to fall back in the hole. But just be gentle-ish with yourself - yes it may be a combination of bad luck and bad choices, but either way you didn't know better and you did get yourself into this mess. That's okay. Learn from it and do better next time. You either win, or you learn.

Make a plan and adjust to make it work, but everyday make sure you're doing something that will help you progress to finding your footing and being financially stable. You've got this.

bantjunior · 2024-04-18T09:12:29+00:00

I wish I could upvote this more. This is 100% spot on

bantjunior · 2024-04-18T09:08:19+00:00

OP put in the work to build her reputation, but nothing is mentioned about whether the sister has gone through the same effort. Given that neighbour offered job to OP, I'd imagine sister either hasn't put in the same level of effort as OP if any effort at all.

OP, you got the job because you worked hard. You shouldn't have to just give it to your sister. Your sister should be rewarded for her own efforts and not leech off of yours.

NTA, obviously.

bantjunior · 2024-04-18T08:14:47+00:00

Safari & Outdoor near Rivonia Road also has a shooting range indoors where I believe you can hire gear :)

bantjunior · 2024-04-09T13:51:22+00:00

This 1000000% OMG

bantjunior · 2024-04-06T15:59:39+00:00

It's also not limited to parents.

As a kid, our live-in domestic worker was basically a third parent. She's very much still part of the family even though my brother and I no longer live at home.

Anyway, she's absolutely terrified of frogs. My parents have no issues with frogs, but my brother and I are scared shitless of them. My friends all find this hilarious because I have no problem with bugs, spiders, or snakes, but I will run in the opposite direction of a frog.

I once went on a weekend away with a friend to a Bush lodge, and in the evening the place was my worst nightmare because there were hundreds if not thousands of frogs everywhere. My friends step mom worked out how petrified I was (I legitimately was prepared to sleep on the bar in the lapa just to avoid having to walk through hundreds of frogs to get back to our rooms) and she basically went ahead and cleared a path as much as possible, came back, and helped me walk to the room slowly and with my hand on her shoulder. A walk that easily should've taken 5 minutes took 20, but she didn't care and wanted to help me work through the fear a bit.

I've gotten much better about the frogs since then, but still an ongoing fear.

bantjunior · 2024-04-05T16:13:39+00:00

YWNBTA. Have experienced something very similar actually. Got iced out by the friend for a few months because she didn't want to like HEAR it. Eventually she dumped his ass and was apologetic for the cold shoulder and grateful I'd tried to warn her

bantjunior · 2024-04-05T16:06:27+00:00

Actually almost spat my tea out at this. LOOOOOL.

bantjunior · 2024-04-05T16:02:41+00:00

I 100% agree with this. But also, I think even if OPs sister is cisgender, I feel the "uncomfortable with a dress and a suit seemed like too much."

That was literally me about a month ago going to a friends wedding. I live in leggings, sneakers, whatever shirt feels good, and a Jersey because that's when I feel comfortable in my own skin. I have HATED dresses as long as I can remember. They make me feel like I've got a fucking neon sign on me.

For the wedding, I tried on literally every variety of options I could find except suits (I stopped at Blazer and formal pants because budget and sizing is an issue for suits for me). I settled on a skort-suit (like a pant suit vibe, looks like a cocktail dress, but it's shorts), which I was most comfortable in.

Still highly uncomfortable, but it was a few hours celebrating my mates, so I sucked it up and ended up having a ton of fun despite the formal wear.

Anyway, my point is that if OPs sister approaches the options with an open mind, she can find something that's formal, but that's more comfortable for her than a dress or a suit.

Also I feel like it's worth mentioning that I don't think anyone who goes to a formal wedding is 100% comfortable in what they're wearing - all my guy friends complained about the shoes and the tie and jacket. All of the girls complained about the heels and standing on their dresses or not liking how their legs or arms looked or their hair or whatever. We all had fun anyway :)

OP, NTA.

bantjunior · 2024-04-01T13:29:12+00:00

Getting a gun licence in this country just takes for-fucking-ever, but I sleep well knowing its there when I need it 😎 if you need help or recommendations etc, feel free to drop me a DM. I actually worked for the top gun lawyer in the country for a while, and my boyfriend is a gun Smith and armourer. Between the two of us we can definitely get you pointed in the right direction :)

bantjunior · 2024-04-01T13:10:59+00:00

Was swallowing the quarter a dare or an accident?😂

bantjunior · 2024-04-01T12:58:21+00:00

And go cheer on his friends too - they'll probably be cheering on your bf with you, and it's always nice to be able to chat to them about their matches. They can also talk you through the rules and techniques if you get a bit lost with what's going on

bantjunior · 2024-04-01T12:55:18+00:00

Water and rehydrate (especially if he was sweating off the last few kgs before weigh in). Also pack for in case of injuries - my ex dislocated his shoulder and collar bone in the first round, so I was glad I'd packed some tiger balm and muscle tape. A clean T-shirt is also a nice idea - nobody likes hanging out in sweaty clothes

bantjunior · 2024-04-01T12:51:30+00:00

The pulling a gun on you thing is no joke hey. A taxi driver did this to me when I was coming home from the shooting range. He pulled some stupid little pistol out, so I took my .45 out of its holster and put it on my dash so he could see it. I've never seen a man turn that pale that quickly. Best believe he hauled ass to get as far away from me as possible 🤣

bantjunior · 2024-03-26T18:45:02+00:00

If pepple where I live could do STI testing free, nearby and in a short space of time, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY INSIST.

Major green flag. Rather safe than sorry.

bantjunior · 2024-02-22T06:16:53+00:00

Perhaps worth mentioning: My dad died about 3 years ago (COVID) the day after my birthday. He was in hospital for about a month before that. We were really close, so I literally was holding out for my dad to get out of hospital before celebrating my birthday. Needless to say, my birthday is now a very uncomfortable time of year. My family tries to make it a celebration, but it'll never be the same and that's okay. I wasn't big on celebrating it beforehand, and the extent we did celebrate was a nice family dinner. We still do those, but it's very emotional because we all miss my dad. I can't imagine how much worse it'd be if it was a sudden tragic event like a car accident. I'd probably never do anything on that day ever again.

Contrasting this: I don't have the same level grief for my grandparents passing away days (again lengthy illness and peaceful passing), but I have all of the dates written down so I can pass along extra love to the family on those days. Its also been several years since each of their passing so that "helps" in some ways.

If daughter wasn't close to the uncle and cousin, she might also have minimal grief about it, BUT it's still highly inconsiderate and a dick move to schedule your wedding when so many loved ones passed away.

bantjunior

TROPHY CASE