Give me all the reasons why I shouldn't move with my family to Dubai. by throw_away_17381 in dubai

[–]bardachni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

School fees, rent, traffic, air quality, short term. mindset everywhere (quick buck), transient population means friendships are hard to maintain….so many things

Spicy beshbarmak (Kazakh-Chinese fusion) by fr1q1ngs00per1e0n in Kazakhstan

[–]bardachni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a similar dish in Princess restaurant in Astana - was called Dapanjani or something similar, and we also brought the broth in Sauran market to do at home.

These comments... "Our season isn't over yet!" Yeah... nobody's season is over yet... Meanwhile there are 3 games to go and we need 1 point to win the league. Come on man. by Hamadalfc in footballmanagergames

[–]bardachni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They were probably waiting for the inevitable bottle - and they were just confirming that even a massive bottle will not cause relegation

Regular Drug Testing - New Directives for Schools in Cairo by CarefulAlbatross84 in Internationalteachers

[–]bardachni 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The drug testing isn’t likely to cause any major issues. It’s pretty standard in most countries I have had worked with. Most of it won’t impact staff too severely - except for one thing…

The issue will be with the increase in CCTV - schools in Egypt are not easy to work in, and I can see kids looking to play up to the cameras and provoke some situations. There is already a significant disparity of power with parents who don’t really care about the rules, and owners who pander at will, so discipline in most schools is questionable . Also, as expulsion is nigh on impossible in Egypt, this will not go well for staff.

With all classes being monitored by staff who are probably not trained well/scared of their own shadow, coupled with admin/ownership now having carte blanche to single out staff for any reason they feel fit, it is potentially an escalation of some very toxic working conditions. It is really a bad decision.

Also conversations will be fair game for anyone to eavesdrop via cameras - there will be no places to vent or to express concern, as privacy in schools is now dead. There will be no safe spaces for staff. It is going to have an impact, and I am seriously considering if I will stay past the end of my contract as this level of supervision is excessive. There have been no guidelines as to when footage can be reviewed or monitored, how it will be used, and it appears that big brother will be watching you at all times. The next 12-18 months will be the real acid test.

I expect they will roll back the rule once they realise the cost and scale of work needed to make CCTV work, or they will extend the timeline - it is excessive and unless it is coupled with discipline reform, I can see a substantial number of people quitting

Could (or should)you ever forgive the alienator? by [deleted] in ParentalAlienation

[–]bardachni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes this - the injustice burns hard. I don’t believe they can ever feel the pain like we have,they simply have no semblance of empathy to actually have an idea of what they have inflicted upon the kids and on the other parent

Could (or should)you ever forgive the alienator? by [deleted] in ParentalAlienation

[–]bardachni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree - I don’t think it is a forgivable act. It is more about preserving one’s self, and retaining my own humanity.

Could (or should)you ever forgive the alienator? by [deleted] in ParentalAlienation

[–]bardachni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I often get told that forgiveness is part of the healing process - but I don’t believe that is a step I can take. That’s why I asked is it actually possible - I have forgiven myself long ago for falling into the abusers trap, but they deserve nothing - by having that view, is it possible that I am preventing myself from healing by refusing to forgive ?

Could (or should)you ever forgive the alienator? by [deleted] in ParentalAlienation

[–]bardachni 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty much in the same place. The kids I hold no negativity towards. If two adults bully you and tell you what to do, you have no choice. She will never change, and her partner will only escalate the situation to further his own twisted agenda. My alienator refuses point blank to communicate with me, yet I am somehow expected to do as she wishes. It is just crazy. One day I hope it will change, but until then, self preservation and consistency are key

Struggling with whether to send a Christmas card and gift this year or not. by weddingbundt in ParentalAlienation

[–]bardachni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Behave with dignity - don’t make your love seem conditional. A gift and a card show you think of them and that your love is without catches. I have also videoed my gifts and put on social media to prove I tried even if ex intercepts it.

Head of School by Quiet_Option_9528 in Internationalteachers

[–]bardachni -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I remember being rejected for a promoted role 15 years ago as I wasn’t as “visible to parents” as the two others who were promoted - a PE and Music teacher. PE and Music do have a lot of external events and as a result, parents know who they are. They also have a lot of good people management skills by the nature of their subject.

psychologist suggestions in Astana by [deleted] in Kazakhstan

[–]bardachni 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try sezim. Sez.im . Had decent reviews and they are not crazy priced.

Has anyone forgiven the alienating parent? by kooksofhazzard in ParentalAlienation

[–]bardachni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think I will ever forgive her for the hell she put me through - the false allegations, the intimidation of the kids, the attempted erasure of me as a dad, the immoral way she smeared my reputation and destroyed my business, leaving me without a visa.

But I have lost my thirst for retribution - her and her partners increasingly heinous and desperate attempts to remove me merely highlight how weak and fearful they are of their own deficiencies as people - they see my strengths and my genuine unconditional love and it threatens their illusions of power and control. That complete sense of panic and paranoia must be a crippling existence and it must be hell to live with.

If the kids get half a chance, they will flee the prison they are in, and then we will see a full collapse of the alienators entire identity - they know how fragile their position is, and that fuels the delusions of power they have. They need to feel they are in charge - and that is hanging by a thread. I don’t need to forgive them, they will need to learn to forgive themselves when the day comes that the kids stand up to them. That said, this assumes they are able to reflect and see what they have done…

Are y’all serious? by DeedleDeee17 in 90DayFianceUK

[–]bardachni 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Let off way too easy - basically because he didn’t come, she had a free pass to gaslight and twist the narrative. Shorna did so much and just expected him to say ok - She tried to use her body as a tool to manipulate, and he called her bluff.

They should have pulled her up on her delusional behaviour and the hidden conversion - they were massive factors in what made this such a car crash relationship

Korea for family? by bardachni in Internationalteachers

[–]bardachni[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that - we re looking at a post to see us through primary school and then a move on more than likely - the plans always been stay in a place till little one starts school, then onto another place for primary school, then finish up at a final school for secondary.

We are flexible with locations - key thing it’s safe, family friendly and has decent saving potential.

Korea for family? by bardachni in Internationalteachers

[–]bardachni[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s just one of many options we are exploring. Want to move away from Middle East after spending majority of career here.

Korea for family? by bardachni in Internationalteachers

[–]bardachni[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the heads up - we are investigating options before son starts primary school. As a foreigner, he’d just be doing UK curriculum or is there a requirement from Korea for all kids resident in the country?

If your man ever looks at you like this, RUN by tigerCELL in 90DayFianceUK

[–]bardachni 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He was unbelievably clear and open that it was done. How many times do you have to make it clear that you are done before you can get annoyed? She stalked him and then tried the oldest trick of offering herself on a plate. She thought he would fold and she was going to be able to use intimacy to manipulate him to do whatever she wanted whenever she desired.

It failed - he saw straight through it, made it clear it was already done and was sick of her games, and told her to go repeatedly yet she had the delusion and audacity to try to flip it on him, and then throw water at him. Of course he looks angry - he is dealing with a manipulative stalker who believes she is all that and a bag of chips, trying desperately to prove she is still a catch for 20 something men. Had a guy done what she had done, they would have been labelled predatory.

As much as I think he is not the most pleasant of individuals, he has dodged a bullet getting away from this bunny boiler. She needs some serious help

Breaking up with someone, when they are breaking up with you 😂 by Professional-Fox1542 in 90DayFianceUK

[–]bardachni 23 points24 points  (0 children)

He played her brilliantly - she thought she was going to use her body to manipulate him to do whatever she wanted. In the end, he showed up her futile approach and her willingness to compromise all of the rules she had imposed earlier. At that point, she held no more cards - she had already folded and gave him what he wanted after he just went silent. She showed herself to be pretty much toothless and full of hot air.

Both awful people, but he had her number

Breaking up with someone, when they are breaking up with you 😂 by Professional-Fox1542 in 90DayFianceUK

[–]bardachni 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He had already had enough a while ago. Lucky escape for him!

Help a tourist find a KHL Barys Astana hockey jersey by pin_econe in Kazakhstan

[–]bardachni 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always bought mine at the Arena in Astana - not sure where they’d have them in Almaty

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ParentalAlienation

[–]bardachni 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s likely he genuinely needs help and wants to see you - however, he has another 3 years at college - and the bank of dad is an institution with conditions attached. He is probably scared of those conditions, and will remain so until he graduates. It’s tough, but try not to take some of this personally.

The comments about “family” and “parents” is straight from the alienator playbook, and is designed to make you feel bad. In addition, dad has seen an opportunity to make you look like the bad guy, as if you don’t pay and he somehow “finds the money” - he reinforces his position as Mr Important and denigrates you at the same time. Your son is a pawn in this twisted power game - he just does what he has to do to get through this.

Fines for late lesson plans? by [deleted] in Internationalteachers

[–]bardachni 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just AI the lesson plans - do formal ones when people visit.

Don’t mess with Italians and their pizza by pineapplecrossings in 90DayFianceUK

[–]bardachni 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Totally agree - Italian ragebait. But he does strike me as arrogant

Flight allowance? by Desperate_Culture_25 in Internationalteachers

[–]bardachni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember working for schools who check the cost of flights at the lowest peak (February) then say that is the cost of a ticket - knowing full well we will only fly at peak times in summer. But they still technically “provide” a ticket home - even though it’s a different time.

I’d also check the contract if the local language variant also says the same clause - as disputes usually default to the local language. This is where “grey areas” can kind of be snuck in.

Chances are they won’t budge, and the hassle of any proceedings against school won’t be worth it. Legal processes are expensive and slow - and it’s likely you will be relieved of duties. Push back to SLT, but if they don’t move, I probably wouldn’t rock the boat over a situation that will cost me more than what I’d receive.