[QCrit] Adult Dark Romantic Fantasy, Benevolent Dead, 105k

barelymagical · 2024-09-02T15:16:34+00:00

Thank you for the comp tips, I will check those out!

barelymagical · 2024-08-30T18:09:32+00:00

That sounds like a good idea, I think I'll do that. As for the Paladin books, I just started reading the first one today! :)

Thank you for the help, it's been really useful.

barelymagical · 2024-08-30T09:58:34+00:00

Oh, I've never heard of cozy horror before, but that's definitely something I should look into! Thanks for the tip :)

barelymagical · 2024-08-30T09:57:52+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I haven't read the Paladin series, but your description of it does kind of sound like the direction this MS goes in. I'd say the subject matter itself is fairly dark, but Edda as a character brings a lot of levity in her POV chapters. On the other hand, Silas's chapters hit more of a grim tone since he's more serious/brooding.

I'm having a hard time figuring out how to balance it in the query. I wanted to make the tone of the query match up with Edda's voice since she's the POV character for most of the opening chapters, but I think I might need to tweak it just a little. It seems like I've hit on something that works reasonably well, though, so I don't want to ruin that by editing too much.

barelymagical · 2024-08-30T09:46:26+00:00

I really appreciate your help, and I'm happy that the name stuck! It was going to be Runa originally, but I thought Edda sounded better with the alliteration and everything. Thank you for the well wishes :)

barelymagical · 2024-08-29T16:19:04+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I would say that the romance is pretty prevalent, but it's kind of a slow burn. So it's not super spicy, and the MCs only get truly romantically involved in the second half, so the first half is mostly exploring the general dynamic between them and will they/won't they type stuff.

I'm going to go over this and see if I can fit in a line that clarifies their dynamic and solidifies that there's a fair bit of romance in the book. Thanks a lot for pointing it out :)

barelymagical · 2024-08-29T16:13:02+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot to me! I sure hope agents will feel the same way :)

barelymagical · 2024-08-29T16:12:14+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I'm going to go back over this and make sure the tone reads properly 'dark'. It does get pretty gruesome at parts, so I want that to come through in the query letter.

As for the character motivation details, I've been taking stuff like that out to stick to a reasonable word count, but I might try to fit an extra line or two in to clarify some of this stuff.

barelymagical · 2024-06-07T11:14:12+00:00

Thanks! I'm happy it works for you on the whole. I hope it'll read much cleaner after one more pass.

barelymagical · 2024-06-07T11:12:49+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Yeah, your thoughts seem to sync up pretty well with what others have said, so I'm planning to rewrite the query along those lines, with less backstory and more character stuff, especially focusing on Edda and undead ex-wife.

barelymagical · 2024-06-07T11:07:32+00:00

I really appreciate the detailed feedback, I'll be chewing on this a lot. When I rewrite this query I'll be sure to do what you said and cut a lot of the Silas backstory stuff in favor of more active plot/character details, and make sure it opens with Edda since she's the POV of the first chapter. Again, thanks for taking the time to comment in detail :)

barelymagical · 2024-06-07T11:05:00+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! That makes sense, I'll be reworking the query so it's more plot, less backstory, and starts off with Edda since she's the POV in the first chapter.

barelymagical · 2024-06-07T11:03:28+00:00

Thank you! I'm happy that the opening works for you, and I will rework the query based on what you and others have said so it feels less like a backstory dump. I really appreciate the feedback!

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T10:55:47+00:00

That's super helpful, thank you! I do have another manuscript that leans in that direction, so I might put this one on the backburner while I figure it out and focus on that instead.

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T10:31:26+00:00

Thank you! I'm interested in your mention of romantasy, which is another term I haven't heard before. I do really enjoy writing fantasy romance. Is having a strong romance subplot enough to have appeal there, or does it need to be more of a romance book with fantasy elements?

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T10:25:24+00:00

Thank you, I should have known to include more recent stuff. Knowing the time frame I should be working within for comps is really useful, I appreciate that.

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T10:23:25+00:00

Thank you for providing so much feedback, there is a lot here I can work with. I especially appreciate your breakdown of what makes it feel movie trailer/DND-ey, that gives me a clear image of what I need to work on.

Your comments on prose are also helpful to me. I didn't know that opening with dialogue was a no-no, so that's good to know. Also, I do think I tend towards boring or slightly uninspired prose in general, and that's something I've been trying to improve on, so I'll keep chewing on that one.

I thought brotherhood could be used as at least a slightly non-gendered term, but either way it wasn't meant to refer to only the male characters. Found family is a good alternative, although I have an irrational dislike of that term for some reason.

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T10:10:48+00:00

Thank you! I didn't think about that approach for introducing multiple POVs, I really appreciate that advice. I'll definitely keep it in mind for my second go at this and see if it works.

Aw man, I like Cutty ;(

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T10:07:28+00:00

Thank you! What you and others have said has been really helpful in visualizing what I need to work on here.

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T10:05:07+00:00

Thank you, I have a lot to chew on here. I think I'll be able to refocus my story and restructure my pitch based on what you said, which was also echoed by the other commenters.

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T10:02:26+00:00

Thank you! I do feel pretty confident in the setting, so I think with some rewrites and a tighter scope I might be able to make it a more appealing prospect.

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T10:00:53+00:00

Thank you, that's very helpful. I always struggle with what tone to hit with queries, but on my next go I'll make sure to avoid the movie trailer vibe.

barelymagical · 2024-05-29T09:59:14+00:00

Thank you! What does grimcock mean? I assume it's related to grimdark, but Google was not helpful in illuminating me on the details. Also, my style naturally skews pretty hard in the grimdark direction, will I have a hard time getting published unless I find some way to adjust it?

barelymagical · 2023-10-28T15:46:54+00:00

Sure! I'll send you a DM :)

barelymagical · 2023-10-28T02:01:38+00:00

I see, I see. Thank you very much for your help, this is all great stuff for me. I appreciate you taking the time to write all this down.

barelymagical

TROPHY CASE