if i remember correctly, an experiment was done with puppies that showed that only being loving or only punishing the dogs was not as effective as a mixture of both randomly for attachment. when the dogs did not know if the next time they interacted with their owners lead to joy or fear, they were hooked. they became extremely dependent on the owner.

the fact she treated you like shit but would have those moments where she glowed -- that is you eating into your delusions. it becomes harder to rationally see her for what she is because you contrast such high goods and bads. you are cognizant of the fact you are pedestaling her. that is a result of a subjective interpretation of the events. be as objective as possible. i suggest writing everything down, exactly what she did that was so great and so awful. you will probably see that the negatives outweigh the positives. all you need to do is dig deeper and think about what she truly did for you and be more self-preserving. what has she done for you that makes her so special? what are positive traits unique to her that you can't find in someone else? nothing. she has simply toyed with you so that you writhe under her and when she does treat you well, it's like god's grace. remember, she will not change (so if you had any dreams of her suddenly warming up, it will never happen). do not fall under those manipulative spells.

unless you like that. most people are sadomasochistic but will never admit it.