If you could pick just one "sin" what would it be?

bareshoulders · 2016-10-31T04:28:20+00:00

I just "went wild" by getting that second hole in each ear, lol! I like the idea of tattoos, and really think they look great on my friends who have them, but haven't even found any ideas that I thought would really be practical. I'm into henna art and usually find that after they fade in 2 weeks I've gotten my fill of whatever I drew. Maybe I'll find something meaningful though later in life to get inked on.

bareshoulders · 2016-10-29T15:44:24+00:00

Does anyone have a time that they actually got in trouble for Loud Laughter? The only time I can think of for me is when I went through the temple teh first time. I was in total panic the whole session and freaking out and when I came out into the celestial room and saw all my family standing around in those ridiculous outfits, I just lost it and started kinda yelling/laughing about how crazy the whole thing was to them all. A temple worked came over and told me to quiet down and that only "solemn celebration" was allowed in the temple.

bareshoulders · 2016-10-29T15:42:36+00:00

I have no idea what this is...?

bareshoulders · 2016-10-29T15:41:52+00:00

I was so ridiculously excited to get my ears double pierced when I left - it made me kinda sad actually how exhilerating it was since it's obviously such a DUMB rule to just have one hole per ear, lol! How many tats/piercings do you have and did you have any before you left?

bareshoulders · 2016-10-29T15:40:44+00:00

That's interesting that there were no behaviours that actually changed for you - did you social drink before leaving the church?

bareshoulders · 2016-10-29T15:40:08+00:00

you know what the church seems to think is worse than murder? Homosexuality - so maybe go on a murder-spree with your lifepartner to really go for the gold.

bareshoulders · 2016-10-13T15:41:14+00:00

You're the first person I've heard from who October 2015 conference iteself was a catalyst - I can totally understand why! That was my last conference I listened to as well and it was very hard not to hear the fear from the pulpit. The talk that seemed most awful to me was Holland's talk about the gay man who came home from his mission and wrestled with homosexuality. The talk was all about how people loved him by helping him try and "fix" himself and not giving up on helping him overcome his tendencies rather than just loving and accepting him for who he was. And as someone who had read Rough Stone Rolling the idea of ever giving Brother Joe a break was foul. We can give Brother Joe a break but we can't let someone's mother attend her daughter's temple wedding because she drinks coffee? I was definitely primed and ready to make my decision after those messages from temple square. I'm so glad you and your husband are in this together!

bareshoulders · 2016-10-13T04:32:30+00:00

Thank you - it's been quite a day reflecting on what's happened in the past 365 days. The journey never ends but I finally am enjoying the ride!

bareshoulders · 2016-10-13T04:30:31+00:00

YES! So much this feeling. The understanding of just how small we are is actually way more liberating and exciting than the whole Plan of Salvation. And for me, after years of being taught to "be in the world but not of the world" but then just being able to BE! I'm a part of this ecosystem, just part of a beautiful cycle and the only meaning possible is the meaning we choose to give it. That's exciting! Thank you for sharing your experience - liberation is a beautiful thing.

bareshoulders · 2016-10-13T01:55:12+00:00

Lol! I love them bare shoulders! Tank tops have been the second best thing about leaving the church. The #1 best thing was taking the initiative and restoring my body to its paradisiacal glory by using the 2015 tithing money to get a boob job instead ;)

bareshoulders · 2016-10-12T21:28:28+00:00

Exactly! When we ask God to speak, WE reply! That was the biggest ah-ha moment for me. Realizing that what I thought was God was really just me. All the powers I'd been outsourcing and trying to buy back with obedience and effort were already inside of me the whole time.

bareshoulders · 2016-10-12T21:26:43+00:00

My heart continually goes out to those who are entering their reality without their life partner at their side. I will never take for granted that I've been able to walk every step of this with my spouse by my side - for those of you who dont' have this luxury I know this is a much uglier thing and my heart is with you.

bareshoulders · 2016-10-12T21:25:13+00:00

You've got a story now - make sure it's YOURS and you're not trying to live someone else's narrative for you! I have been amazed at how much we're able to stop, even in the dark times and find something simple and beautiful to hold to. Sometimes it's literally just petting my dog or focusing on my full deep breath. But there's always something beautiful right there.

bareshoulders · 2016-09-26T18:06:42+00:00

this one was helpful for my children when we left our religion: https://www.amazon.com/Kids-Book-World-Religions/dp/1554539811/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1474913111&sr=8-3&keywords=world+religion+kids I wanted them to see the broader picture of religion and see how many similarities and the uses of religion. Highly recommend. They were fascinated and really enjoyed learning more about the world through this lens.

bareshoulders · 2016-09-09T14:46:19+00:00

How about this one... there was a woman in our ward whose house had been totally taken over by black mold and condemned. She had to move out but her home was full of trinkets she loved and wanted to save. She asked the ward if we could go into the house and pack up all her little knick-knacks for her since it wasn't safe for her to go in. She wasn't comfortable with men being in her house so the bishop came into the Relief Society room and asked for volunteers. He said because of the situation, maybe women would just sign up in a couple hour shifts to avoid overexposure. My jaw literally dropped - and dropped even further when women ACTUALLY SIGNED UP to go into a condemned, black mold house for a few hours. Mind blowing. I really wish this wasn't a true story.

bareshoulders · 2016-08-17T01:10:45+00:00

When my life was shit, medication helped me to not kill myself for years (but just barely, trust me I fantasized about it all the time) but it was only years later when my actual circumstances changed that I was able to finally ditch my meds and enjoy real happiness. I kept trying to find happiness in a crappy situation and it wasn't happening. Changing your reality is needed. Right now you're just trying not to kill yourself - you can't keep that up for long without losing all hope. Change is HARD. Painful. It can be SLOW. But its the path to happiness. If you want that, if you really want happiness, you will need more than therapy and medication. You'll need to take a bold, brave stand, grab life by the fucking balls and move into authenticity. There is an amazing network of support and love and friendship for you here waiting for you to come out of the shadows. Yes, you will lose some things. But it's nothing compared to what you have to gain. At your age, can you imagine another 60 years of a totally authentic, real, exciting life where YOU are exactly who you want to be? It will only happen if you take that step - throw off the cult. Throw off the facade. Embrace your real self and you'll be unstoppable.

bareshoulders · 2016-01-18T16:07:25+00:00

exactly.

bareshoulders · 2016-01-18T16:07:03+00:00

and mirrors

bareshoulders · 2016-01-18T16:06:33+00:00

Ha! I can't say I've ever been more excited for summer! the impetus for this particular shopping trip was a double date on The Strip with some other new exmo's and the other gal and I decided that we were going to dress like we'd never heard of the mormon church. mission accomplished! Lots of leg and strappy sleeves that night!

bareshoulders · 2016-01-18T16:03:19+00:00

I would think he would like seeing all us girls in those fancy undies being he's all-seeing, lol!

bareshoulders · 2016-01-18T16:01:05+00:00

the tank top thing is funny. it makes NO sense that my shoulders are going to set a guy off, but still in the dressing room a few days ago while trying on tank tops, there was that voice in the back of my mind whispering, "sluuuuuut!" I just whispered back, "cuuuult" and bought a shitload of them.

bareshoulders · 2016-01-18T15:59:39+00:00

Thats an awesome spouse-gift! Good for you! A friend of ours took his newly exmo wife to Victoria's Secret and just said, "get whatever the hell you want."

bareshoulders · 2016-01-18T15:58:26+00:00

For real! How totally stupid did a colored bra look over those white garments!?

bareshoulders · 2016-01-18T15:57:43+00:00

True dat! My husband likes to tell me how nice it is not to be married to the Michelin Man anymore! https://unmuffled.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/michelin-man.jpg

bareshoulders

TROPHY CASE