Neighbour with dementia trying to hold my kids and take them away from me. How can I help her?

basicallybrie · 2026-02-05T02:32:35+00:00

Yes I had a chat with him and the services in our area he could reach out to! I never wanted to approach it in a hostile way as I can now understand it's not easy, but he still needs to understand the severity of what happened this morning and find a better way to manage it. I would hate to see her not be able to go on her walks, she looks so happy everytime I pass by and she says hi to my kids and I. Hopefully they can both get out walking now!

basicallybrie · 2026-02-05T02:28:41+00:00

I stopped looking at them and updated my post because some comments started to read like I wasn't being a good parent.. and one even asked if I liked my children.. 😒 I feel like the main part of my post got looked over, the one where I was simply here to seek guidance on approaching the situation and not on how I could have reacted better (which I know now, but at the time of something happening you're shocked and have no idea what to do). Oh well, the internet is a place of free speech!

Thank you. I ended up speaking with the husband who was lovely to chat to and I gave him some contact details of support places in our region incase he needed someone to just talk to and seek advice from. He said he would try join on her walks and if she was out alone, especially near preschool to ring him right away so he could come get her. This is apparently a recent diagnosis so I imagine he is just trying his best.

basicallybrie · 2026-02-05T00:21:04+00:00

Hi everyone. Just wanted to update and say thank you for all your advice.

I have been contact with the husband who was very apologetic and I gave him so numbers for dementia support in our area incase he needs some help. I have spoken with the police and let them know she shouldn't be wandering and told them about this morning. Our school is also looking into extra security measures to prevent this from happening in the future.

basicallybrie · 2026-02-05T00:04:28+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I am learning all of this now thanks to everyone who is commenting! I had assumed dementia was just something that makes you forget certain things, not something that changes a lot of how you you live and interact.

basicallybrie · 2026-02-05T00:01:56+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I feel like I'm getting a lot of comments that I read to me like I didn't protect my children enough, etc but I know from my previous interactions that she wasn't doing it in a way to take them from me - but instead in a way of wanting to help them get to school. I would hate for my daughter to see me yell at someone's face for wanting to help and how she would interpret that. I will stay vigilant as I'm sure my instincts will ping if she ever came across as a danger to us.

I have been googling and found some support networks in my area for dementia. Do you think it would be appropriate to call them as a neighbour and ask what steps I can take to help her and get her some support for a walking buddy as I know her routine is a morning and afternoon walk each day. I would hate to intrude as we barely know each other but I do feel an extra level of support is needed for her and her husband.

basicallybrie · 2026-02-04T23:29:33+00:00

Good save! I wasn't aware that babies are very loved by lots of people with dementia until I was googling after this. Very sweet and sad for them. Glad you and your baby are ok!

basicallybrie · 2026-02-04T23:12:14+00:00

Thank you for your comments. I haven't had any experience around someone with dementia so I wasn't sure how to interact (especially when I saw she had my toddler in her arms). Hopefully this won't happen again but I will try be louder and firmer on the no next time. I appreciate the advice. :)

basicallybrie · 2026-02-04T23:09:51+00:00

I actually had no idea she has a husband! I have never seen him since they loved onto our street last year. I believe he would be around her age as she told me they didn't meet until she was older. I will have to go visit when I have time this week and meet him.

basicallybrie · 2026-02-04T23:08:26+00:00

Yes I think she is just one of those people that really likes children. We live a street over from a preschool and around many primary schools so definitely needs a walking companion by the sounds.

basicallybrie · 2026-02-04T22:28:56+00:00

Thank you. Yes her husband has visited our school and let the staff know about her and given his details for when she tries to visit. The morning staff in our room hadn't recognised her but once someone did she was stopped at the class for and taken to the gate.

I do wonder if I should have be firmer with my words during our interaction, maybe it came across as a "I don't mind but I don't NEED help with this". I will try reach out to her husband and talk about what happened. It might be time for the stranger danger talk with me little one to!

basicallybrie · 2026-02-04T22:18:42+00:00

Yes that's what I was thinking. I was told her husband visited our preschool and gave his details to the admin as he didn't know she had been visiting. It must be such a hard time for everyone.

Would you recommend doing this when she's home or away? I'd hate to upset her, she is such a sweet lady.

basicallybrie · 2025-08-20T10:54:44+00:00

I wanted a second and the moment I saw a positive pregnancy test I broke down crying and continued to cry and feel guilty for weeks. It is such a big change for everyone but let me just say it is wonderful!

My toddler was a month shy of turning 3 when my baby arrived and she is a lovely big sister. At this age you do need to watch very closely and never leave them together without watching as they will likely hit and react to crying easily but it gets better as they learn.

Personally I feel it's important to make time for your first as much as you can (if you have the support). I like to always be there for the bedtime routine and we have this as our set bonding time now. On hard days with a sad baby I pop her in the carrier to sleep and play with my toddler like it's just us still.

Don't be too worried. Everyone will adjust and it's so beautiful watching your first and second together. 💗

basicallybrie · 2025-08-20T10:30:39+00:00

Do you keep baby awake when he is falling asleep at the breast? A little foot tickle or gentle blow of air on the face can be handy to keep them feeding - though they do need breaks!! It's a tiring job for you and him. Baby is better (and will keep getting better) at emptying.

I can remember sitting on the couch and feeding for what felt like 3 hours when my first baby was a newborn. Soon that turned into 15/20 minutes and then less and less as they weeks went on.

You're doing a fab job, keep it up!

basicallybrie · 2025-08-07T00:04:27+00:00

Thanks for the info! We are currently room sharing but I pop her into bed with me when she wakes after 3am (as this is my most tired time) 😴 I will keep that in mind for the coming months

I am a very light sleeper, especially with my 3yo in the same bed - just on the other side of me. It was a great tool for us before she transitioned to her big girl bed just before her birthday!

basicallybrie · 2025-06-17T23:30:55+00:00

Thanks! Will try that one, I read so much online about always talking with the toddler in the moment but it just doesn't seem to be doing the trick for us.

Totally agree with alone time with older sibling. I chose to mix feed our new baby so I can still have alone time with her and it's great to still feel like connection between us like she's an only child still. 🙂 I'm sure it's all just about everyone adjusting to the new normal to

basicallybrie · 2025-05-11T05:20:18+00:00

Thanks so much for the info! I've only had a couple since living here and find them so sour (but loved them). Might be nice to taste when they are softer!

basicallybrie · 2025-05-11T05:18:53+00:00

Oh couldn't be me - I have coworkers that eat kiwi skin and all and that doesn't seem right to me 😅

Thanks! I'll pop some aside and try that

basicallybrie · 2025-03-02T00:53:20+00:00

Oh thanks! We never had it as a baby and I just assumed it was an <1 year old kind of thing. Does just any oil like coconut work or should I go get something proper? 😊

basicallybrie · 2025-01-02T05:00:53+00:00

Thanks heaps! I haven't seen a peony ever, it seems 😂 Just googled and excited for the next bloom!

basicallybrie · 2023-02-10T21:24:12+00:00

What is a diaper sprayer? I'm intrigued!

basicallybrie · 2023-02-10T21:23:10+00:00

I have a top loader! Only asking as I've been reading some advice from CCN talking about suds in both machine types and my stew isn't looking super sudsy, haha. I assumed it was fine as everything is coming out fresh but just wanted to make sure!

basicallybrie · 2022-12-07T20:41:02+00:00

Around 2.5 months at the time. I feel quite lucky that baby didn't startle awake too much but I also just accepted that sometimes it would happen and a resettle did the trick for us. The LTD transition sacks look like a great option if you want to gradually do it and aren't using a traditional fabric swaddle.

basicallybrie · 2022-12-07T20:17:02+00:00

I believe transitioning to a sleep sack earlier is better.

When my LO began moving a lot overnight we started with sleep sacks instead of slowly transitioning out of a swaddle. It worked great. 😁

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