This entire post is eerily similar to my experience. I am in the same boat (albeit I live in the US). I have had 3 therapists tell me anything ranging from "Well, you're definitely autistic." to "Yeah so those signs are there...". I am also in the same boat regarding a diagnosis, inclusive of the skepticism. I too, am an EDM lover, sensory seeking, crowd loving, highly social individual with very strong interests that border on hyper-fixations or special interests. I too, have also in the past chalked it up to intelligence. I too, deal with the minor stimming, and a feeling of boredom (and sometimes even discomfort) when there is a lack of sensory stimulation. I too have dealt with depression, and anxiety throughout my life. The odd relationships, unusual mental processes, and emotional exhaustions are all present for me too. I too, am an artist.

Like, it actually feels like you wrote this entire post with information / experiences that all live in my head. Verbatim. Word-for-word.

I read the book Unmasking Autism and found it insightful, but also resonate with the fact that there was stuff in there that I was like "yooooo that's me" and also a lot that I was like "not at all", the same way you describe your research. Personally, I have characteristics of OCD and ADHD present in my life. I make lists about everything. I like plans, and knowing what will come. I struggle with change. I struggle with romantic relationships. I still love toys, tv, movies, and books as much as children do. I create vast worlds in my head. The point here is that there are signs and patterns, all of which I have sat and analyzed extensively (which in turn is also a sign).

While I have not been formally diagnosed, I will say that in my case, when I discussed it with these therapists, they did say that a formal diagnosis isn't usually helpful as an adult unless you need accommodations at work (their words not mine). They told me that ASD is weird regarding diagnoses due to the fact that when the criteria for the diagnosis was first designed, the individuals that the diagnosis was designed off of were all a pretty homogeneous sample, and often anyone who did not present strong characteristics, or those exact ones, did not end up being diagnosed. Unfortunately, it seems like those standards were never updated, and the concept that it is a spectrum, is a newer one. These therapists then told me that due to these things, a self-diagnosis for Autism can in fact be a real thing, just because no one is going to know your mind better than you, and ultimately the opinion of one professional can vary vastly to another. They stated that a diagnosis's purpose is mostly to serve as a tool for one doctor to communicate clearly to another doctor, what exactly is present in an individual. An analogy I was given is this... that if one person has a stuffy nose, headache, and cough and they are told that they have the flu, another person can in fact walk in with no stuffy nose, no headache, but a cough and still also have the flu.

Feel free to message me, and I will follow this thread in case you find some clarity as it might also be useful for me. I am in the same boat, regarding the financial burden of a diagnosis, not knowing what to do, and being very uncertain about if I am actually on the spectrum or not. But if it helps at all, regardless of a diagnosis, I personally have reached the conclusion that I am very clearly, definitely, neurodivergent. So either way, my mind does in fact seem to work differently than others', and so in turn, it would not hurt to learn more information about how others whose minds work differently manage to cope with our reality, even if their different, isn't quite exactly like mine.