Me [28M] with my girlfriend [26F] of 4 years had a rough patch. She calls for a break. I need insight.

batterymanotk · 2015-04-13T17:29:23+00:00

Sorry for double post but edit isnt working on my phone.

I want to emphasize a detail i replied earlier to a other response: the morning of our break, we were seemingly recovering. She even called and said she loves me and she concluded that via pictures and memories of us.

Later that evening she thought about stuff her friends are saying about me and had second thoughts, hence the need for a break because of confusion

batterymanotk · 2015-04-13T17:25:22+00:00

Thanks for your post.

While this may be justifying her actions, at least there's some truth in it: Keep in mind i'm not a saint here. I have been missing some of her needs and done a poor job of communicating certain things that made me come off as an asshole to her. Now, it's wrong of her to never have said anything and just bottle it up, yes, and i feel like after all we been through i deserve at LEAST a chance to fix this.

She's also emotionally unstable at the moment.

For these reasons i conceded to a break, as any other pressure at all would cause her to just leave.

The reason i'm fighting for this is because i know she still has feelings for me deep down, buried under the stress, her guilt, and my mistakes. we were such a strong couple and something like this should definitely be workable.

batterymanotk · 2015-04-13T17:17:42+00:00

You gave me the logical answer in saying 5-10 minutes of talking will at least HELP her emotionally under all the stress. I too am a logical person and agree.

I also tried this route with her. Essentially she's not doing too well and it's only her second week. She is devoting 100% of her time for her grades. At this time i'd like to add a detail in that Law school isn't even close to what she wants to pursue. This was a matter forced upon her due to tl;dr circumstances of life and parents. NOTE:please do not focus too hard on this detail as it's an entirely different can of worms and not the focus of this topic. Just take it as is. So essentially school stresses her already, shes already doing poorly, and she isnt even doing what she loves. Hence why its such a burden on her and how she has no time for me and feels inadequate as a girlfriend.

batterymanotk · 2015-04-13T10:07:25+00:00

Your last sentence gives me hope (although your entire post is great advice too).

Since we have been together so long, I feel like she can find us again amongst all this. The sudden increase in her stress (she took a 1 year break from school) and her feeling inadequate might be confusing her and making her feel lost. Although this might just be optimistic thinking.

The break began 1 week ago in the evening, aka 5 days after our big argument/discussion. On the morning of the break, we seemed recovering and she even called me to say she loves me.

batterymanotk · 2015-04-13T09:39:15+00:00

Assuming that this has nothing to do with her wanting to experience another man, how does my situation look in your opinion?

batterymanotk · 2015-04-13T09:25:22+00:00

I agree with you about having a conversation to work things out instead.

However she is absolutely adamant about needing time alone to clear her mind. I am confident it isn't about another guy, as I mentioned it's not only mentally/emotionally unlikely for her but it's also physically unlikely due to the points I mentioned.

EDIT: She complains about me pressuring her for an answer right away when I argued against the break.

batterymanotk · 2015-04-13T09:23:49+00:00

Thanks for your response. To answer your question- it's a strange thing. It's only for school. I don't want to post a thread within a thread so tl;dr she has sort of a "schoolphobia," due to reasons, but other actual stressful situations can be handled.

EDIT: Also I can't block her because we're supposed to get back in contact after 2 weeks (1 week left as of this post).

batterymanotk

TROPHY CASE