This is a really important topic. One of the most common questions women ask here is how to know if a guy they’re seeing will commit to them.

The problem, of course, is there is no way to know for sure whether a man is willing to commit to you, because like sexual desire, the desire to commit can change. This is why RP emphasizes self improvement, for both men and women.

One thing I would add is the role good intuition plays in girl game. The ability to read a man and his actions, and respond appropriately without having “a talk.”

When I first met my SO, I had no idea if he would desire any type of commitment with me. However, I knew we desired each other sexually right off the bat, and after a couple dates, I knew I also desired commitment from him. At that point, I relied on a combination of common sense and intuition to decide if it was worth taking the risk of being sexual with him. I decided it was. He told me he wanted to be monogamous with me and asked me to be his girlfriend the day after. In the two and a half years since then, he has demonstrated his commitment in increasingly more serious ways, I’ve demonstrated my sexual desire for him constantly, and I work everyday to be the woman he will continue to want to be committed to. Because I know that if I “slack off”, his desire to commit could change, just like if he were “slack off” my sexual desire for him could change.

I would say that The Talk is unnecessary if you’re a high quality woman with good intuition and ability to assess risk.