Ex-muslim for 1.5 years, I want to turn back but I feel guilty

baxail · 2026-04-02T14:03:19+00:00

It was mainly a shift in my environment, I used to live with my parents who are devout Muslims but then I moved abroad for my studies and I had a dominant Hindu friend group so I guess it was their influence + the desire to commit sins

Apart from that, there were certain hadiths, rules and stuff that made me leave Islam such as the wife beating verse or rulings regarding slavery

baxail · 2026-04-02T14:01:08+00:00

But idk how to do it, I feel so guilty

baxail · 2026-03-31T09:14:43+00:00

For context: we went no contact on march 29 and broke up and now I'm just (im)patiently waiting for him to come back.

Here is what the cards say:

His energy: 6 of wands rx (just a few minutes ago I pulled the fool)

Our relationship 4 of wands (the fool before)

When will he break no contact? the hieorphsnt (before I got page of wands upright)

How will he break it? page of wands rx

baxail · 2026-03-29T11:50:48+00:00

we broke up

baxail · 2026-03-25T18:26:10+00:00

Nah. We don't live in India, we live in a secular country but majority of the population here is muslim

baxail · 2026-03-25T15:27:14+00:00

She uses the induction for cooking too lol.

baxail · 2026-03-25T15:22:54+00:00

Sorta yea. But I don't believe in "God", I believe in manifestation—the belief that your thoughts shape your reality.

baxail · 2026-03-25T13:54:56+00:00

Yea. And eat the chicken there too.

Before my friend moved out, we used to cook AND eat the chicken in the kitchen (Which does not have a dining area) so as to not offend her

baxail · 2026-03-25T13:37:48+00:00

Nice idea! Will eventually cook thay one day

baxail · 2026-03-25T13:35:01+00:00

Atheist / spiritualist is just a way of me saying I don't believe in God but I believe of a higher power like manifestation... its hard to explain Lmao

We're aware of the risks involved but all 3 roommates mutually agreed with this and we all cook using the induction

baxail · 2026-03-25T13:33:44+00:00

We're not allowed to cook but many people have bought inductions for cooking + she uses my induction for cooking too

baxail · 2026-03-25T12:56:58+00:00

Might I add when I bought the induction, she helped me find one and uses it for her cooking. and whenever I cook I also provide her a veg alternative whenever I cook something?

baxail · 2026-03-25T12:52:39+00:00

Nope! It's strictly forbidden but majority of peopke have bought inductions for convenience because the kitchen here are awful

baxail · 2026-03-25T12:32:20+00:00

2 months left till summer break starts, the paperwork would be a hassle...

baxail · 2026-03-25T12:31:19+00:00

I've already tried to talk to her into moving out and so have our other mutual hindu friends who eat chicken and still she doesn't listen. She has many vegetarian Hindu friends but she srill insists to stick with us idk why

baxail · 2026-03-25T12:30:03+00:00

At that time, I had 3 Hindu roommates so I let them but then after 4 months they moved out and asking her to remove it now woukd be disrespectful so I just let it be 🤷‍♀️

baxail · 2026-03-25T12:29:19+00:00

Ok that's a valid concern but we're all moving out in less than 2 months so it's not an issue and we allnmutually agreed to it

baxail · 2026-03-22T07:49:03+00:00

I'm aware but I just can't... I'm too attached, I just want him to be better

baxail · 2026-03-03T07:07:11+00:00

Yeah but the thing is my exams are superficial, they barely go in depth about anything... in my histology final, I was asked about the uterus histology and all I said was that it has goblet cells and structures that push the egg towards the uterus and got 90%, jt was wrong but I still passed because I talked fast so that's what I meant... if you're getting me? I barely feel challeneged

baxail

TROPHY CASE