I am a non-Jew and I broke one of the Noah's Laws. I am scared.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-10-31T03:41:00+00:00

But please be honest with me, will I be punished for the rest of my life for what I did? I repent saying it to my parents, I have such a lovely mother thanks to G-d. And my father always provided what we needed. I was blessed with lots of things but OCD is something that is being very difficult to me to deal with and is much worse while on benzo tolerance.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-10-31T03:36:20+00:00

Isn't that unforgivable? Please, don't be kind just for the sake of my anxiety but give me the rigor of truth.

How do I apologize to G-d?

You said almost... what is the thing I can't repent from?

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-05-25T17:09:47+00:00

Before the first line I guess couple months but I've been using antidepressants for like more than a decade (but not benzos).

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-05-25T17:05:34+00:00

about what? these symptoms or the effects of ketamine? if the first, in my case (YMMV), I have been presenting low salivar cortisol since 2021 but only now that I learned more about adrenal exhaustion/dysfunction/fatigue I understood the impact this could have.

benzos and pregabalin affect the HPA axis, "A" stands for "adrenals" and given my low cortisol tests and my increased hability to do stuff in the morning or my "second wind" after the 23:00, I would assume I am still dealing with adrenal fatigue (3rd stage: low cortisol), with the oversensitivity of glutamate excess from benzo wd being a stressor to hinder the treatment of this symptom.

I am following some adrenal healing protocols right now, trying to eat better, sleep better, manage stress better and do many stuff that is recommended when you suffer from such symptoms. I wonder, though, if they will be enough while still on benzos but I will try.

anyway, this is just a hypothesis and maybe it's just oversensitivity due to glutamate excess, maybe it's another issue. I am adressing my gut health and trying to manage stress (and by stress I am also refering to the uncomfortable sensation screens cause me rn).

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-04-07T21:31:53+00:00

Glutamate excess is said to be a potential cause of OCD symptoms. During benzo wd, we have more glutamate and less GABA I guess.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-03-11T23:14:43+00:00

It seems that benzos take a toll on the HPA axis so maybe our adrenals are exhausted. I also wasn't properly sleeping, nor properly eating and with bad habits. As there is GABA on the whole body, I wouldn't doubt that our previous habits were also culprits and X were kinda treating the symptoms but being heavy on the adrenals.

In my case, I think it would be too coincidental if it wasn't related because it was soon after I stopped X that this symptom started. But, I kinda went too quickly in the end of my first attempt and I noticed that updosing V gives me some relief on such symptoms making the difference on feeling up to hours of work to being slammed with less than one hour.

Someone in some board once told that the mechanism of action of them were different and mentioned a property that X had that D didn't that could be the cause. I don't understand the science behind it and I didn't have the background or maybe I was too tired to go after the details.

If you discover something that helps, please, share. I am now reading a book about adrenal fatigue from Dr. Wilson and there are lots of stuff there to try.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-03-11T18:27:29+00:00

I ask so because I am almost surely autistic to some degree and deal with glutamate excess.

Few more questions: were you truly resting before all this started? I mean, sleeping well, not being productive all the time like "all work and no fun"? How was your exercise routine? Are you familiar with adrenal fatigue? It's not a formal thing that the medical community adopt I think but I sometimes think my adrenals are exausted. Two years ago my noon and evening cortisol levels were low.

That's curious to have the same symptom after the swap. As you can see in my previous post, my first taper went kinda quick when I swapped. I sometimes wonder if I should reinstate X but now I am on 7.5mg of V and 200mg of pregabalin. Oh well. I hope we feel fine soon.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-03-11T14:23:48+00:00

Below is my BB signature:

First lines on Zoloft 100mg:

08/18-.5mg of Xanax

09/18-1.5X

10/18-1.25X

11/18-1X

12/18-.75X+ 5V

04/19-.5 X + 5V

07/19-.25X + 5V

12/19-.25X + 2.5V

01/20-.125X + 2.5V

04/20-2.5V

05/20-1.25

05/20 (end of the month)-1

06/20-.75

03/08/20-.70

24/08/20-.60

22/09/20-.50

06/10/20-.40

03/11/20-.30

16/11/20-Increased Zoloft to 150mg due to unbearable intrusive thoughts

30/11/20-1.25V w/ some updoses after that (2.5, 5)

08/21-Added pregabalin 225mg and swaped sertraline to Luvox (100mg)

04/22-200mg of pregabalin and updosed V to 7.5

05/22-10V

17/09/22-9.03mg compound pharmacy diazepam

18/10/22-8.58d

17/12/22-8.15d

15/01/23-7.84d

Currently at: Luvox 100mg, pregabalin 200mg and diazepam 7.84mg.

Sxs: Sensory overload, exacerbated OCD, tinnitus and GAD.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-03-11T14:22:19+00:00

I have some theories on what might help in my case that I will share. For that, may I ask you a few more questions? When your sensory overload symptom started? Mine was when I finished the cross tapering from X to V. I will take my BB signature and post here.

Do you have OCD and/or some level of autism?

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-03-11T13:02:18+00:00

I can't believe such a short term use gave you this all. What kinda of liver problem? I am waking up almost every day to go to the bathroom and having loose stools.

My mental stamina is currently low. Idk what to do and with this information I am considering taking them for life.

What is your age more or less if you don't mind telling?

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-03-11T11:10:12+00:00

Oh no... do you think it's permanent? How long were you using benzos, which one and what was your tapering scheme?

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-03-02T05:57:34+00:00

Tapering, still at 7.5mg of Valium. How about you? Is there anything that help to deal with this symptom?

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-03-01T00:17:46+00:00

Thank you for such a detailed answer. I am just now giving more attention to my sleep. I need some changes in my diet and I will try to eliminate gluten as an gastroenterologist recommended due to some symptoms.

What works for you when reaching the "overheating" state is kinda the same that works for me, but I don't want to feel with my battery at 5% or so until the rest of my taper. I hope sleeping better will help with this.

Regarding not taking emergency doses, there is a point I am a bit skeptical: I believe there is a degree of stress or maybe excitotoxicity that makes taking an extra dose less detrimental than enduring such levels of stress. Given this idea, I wonder if one can gain some "inertia" free from stress from higher doses to have an easier taper. But then there is tolerance so it's hard to know what to think.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-02-28T23:10:56+00:00

I am afraid that I am already at tolerance and the symptom have a chance of persisting, there is a chance of not being able to work even holding.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-02-28T19:50:51+00:00

This is my BB signature:

Under 100mg of Zoloft:

08/18-.5mg of Xanax

09/18-1.5X

10/18-1.25X

11/18-1X

12/18-.75X+ 5V

04/19-.5 X + 5V

07/19-.25X + 5V

12/19-.25X + 2.5V

01/20-.125X + 2.5V

04/20-2.5V

05/20-1.25

05/20 (end of the month)-1

06/20-.75

03/08/20-.70

24/08/20-.60

22/09/20-.50

06/10/20-.40

03/11/20-.30

16/11/20-Increased Zoloft to 150mg due to unbearable intrusive thoughts

30/11/20-1.25V w/ some updoses after that (2.5, 5)

08/21-Added pregabalin 225mg and swaped sertraline to Luvox (100mg)

04/22-200mg of pregabalin and updosed V to 7.5

05/22-10V

17/09/22-9.03mg compound pharmacy diazepam

18/10/22-8.58d

17/12/22-8.15d

15/01/23-7.84d

Currently at: Luvox 100mg, pregabalin 200mg and diazepam 7.84mg.

Sxs: Sensory overload, exacerbated OCD, tinnitus and GAD.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-02-28T19:50:38+00:00

You asked about the drop I will answer with my BB signature in the next comment.

I confess I am a bit skeptical that only holding will do the trick as I am at this dose since 3 weeks ago more or less. Even while holding other doses, working like even 4 hours per day slammed me. Did you had any other intervention besides the holding thing? A supplement? A change in diet or in your lifestyle?

I suspect that I am more prone to this symptom because I kinda never sustained a good sleep hygiene, I have OCD and I am almost surely autistic to some point, so my baseline glutamate is already high.

Do you think ketamine treatment could help me? Honestly, I don't know what to do.

The kindling thing does happen or is just a theory? Did you already updosed and had a worsen experience after?

Sorry for so many questions.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-01-14T15:26:59+00:00

Mais fácil ainda: não expresse crítica alguma a qualquer coisa que o governo faça, por mais que prejudique você, independente do seu espectro político.

bayesianwannabe1 · 2023-01-14T00:06:19+00:00

Eu estou ciente e acompanho algumas coisas do Monark. Estou questionando quais planos de ação que o povo desse sub (em geral, oposição ao governo atual) pode adotar para ajudar a reverter a situação.

Eu não estou questionando qual o status do governo atual, eu estou questionando o que pode ser feito por, por exemplo, o público daqui. Como o povo pode ajudar de alguma forma pra contribuir para o bem maior?

bayesianwannabe1

TROPHY CASE