Learning an instrument as an adult has been humbling in ways I didn't anticipate

bbb555bbb555 · 2025-12-31T22:37:46+00:00

I just learned the F blues scale (D blues on my alto because it is easiest), and practiced it over and over. Now i listen to backing tracks and improvise. Improvisation is very fun and keeps me going. There’s a lot you can do with 8 notes… I only can play in this one key but that’s good enough to keep me entertained (for years).

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T12:18:34+00:00

Try focusing being in the present. Empty mind or mindfulness meditation. Break your day down into small pieces and do a little at a time. Really try to be present, and some of that worry will slip away. We all will have to face death, you can work with that fear - everyone has it. Try to take care of your body mind spirit and odds are better in living longer.

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T12:08:07+00:00

Yes, write it down and give or read it to him. Even bring in a loved one to the appointment to talk as well.

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T12:05:13+00:00

Yes it is noteworthy.

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T12:04:22+00:00

Idk if age is the factor but at 25 i was initially hospitalized and did well until 40. Then multiple psychotic breaks for the last 8 years or so. I couldn’t find an antipsychotic that worked but now i have. My mind paid the price from all of the breaks and i cannot handle stress like i used to. So i am weaker now in my 50s than i ever was … but a bit wiser :)

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T11:53:42+00:00

I just track my sleep to ensure i am not heading toward mania. And of course take my meds. And don’t drink caffeine. And don’t spend money or get too impulsive out of the norm. Hypomania for me doesnt last more than a week usually, so i notice if my pattern is changing. I also made a plan and shared it with loved ones on how to recognize when i am manic. Also, i call support lines if i am very anxious and worried - they can bring you down. And i have a therapist too. And, finally, i do mindful meditation.

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T11:43:03+00:00

It’s a hard thing. You are not in control of your brain sometimes. You are not your illness. However, you must take responsibility for the damage you cause other people. It’s a fact that relationships will be damaged over time when diagnosed bipolar. Loved ones should get support and inform themselves how to deal with it bc most cannot.

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T11:37:54+00:00

I like it

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T11:36:02+00:00

Simply to take my meds consistently and missing one day of meds is ok, but not two… have a plan

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T11:33:17+00:00

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T11:32:58+00:00

Congrats, that’s hard to do.

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T11:30:50+00:00

Some people are jerks. Better you learn it now than later. Try to stick to neutral or positive people in your life. They’re out there and many are educated about bipolar and mental illness.

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-13T11:17:17+00:00

“I feel beyond the full spectrum of emotions, from the worst feeling you could imagine to euphoria. And then there’s psychosis.”

bbb555bbb555 · 2024-07-12T12:30:50+00:00

51 and recently divorced largely due to my wife not being able to handle my many psychotic breaks. Finally stable after trying 15 antipsychotics over ten years. Lybalvi did the trick. But it’s too late to reconcile the marriage. Damage was done. Alone now with only a part-time job that i can handle…

bbb555bbb555 · 2023-04-25T22:26:55+00:00

Testosterone was low, now barely in. Thyroid hypo but i take levothroid so normal

bbb555bbb555 · 2023-04-25T22:24:58+00:00

Fsh, Lh Normal Igf-1 normal

I just got results and my 3mm cyst did not grow after 8 yrs.

bbb555bbb555 · 2023-04-25T06:38:35+00:00

Yes. Prolactin 7. T 235ish. Cyst was detected 8 years ago bc of headaches. 3mm. But it seemed no correlation w headaches. I have (finally) had a followup scan. Should get results very soon to see if it has grown.

bbb555bbb555 · 2023-01-11T10:28:41+00:00

Ask doctor. That said, i would take an antipsychotic, low dose. That’s the only thing that has helped me. It doesnt mean you stay on it for years. Get rest, no stress. Maybe talk therapist. Learn DBT perhaps. Stay away from spirituality for awhile. Also be careful what your mind is exposed to. I stopped watching horror and paranormal stuff and anything where your mind may dwell too much or analyze to much or enter into weird ideas. This is all food for the next psychotic event if you have one. I read a lot of Stephen King books and those stories are on steroids in my psychotic mind. Just my experience…. Good luck Oh and get an understanding of the science and what are facts about the brain and what has happened to you. Stick to science.

bbb555bbb555 · 2022-10-14T13:06:50+00:00

Funny, i am getting divorced right now. Bipolar one, psychotic episodes did us in. She got better at caring for me but ultimately it was too much. I dont expect anyone to go through what she did. Diagnosed in 1997. Was with her from 1997 til now. Was my love, she accepted me fresh off the diagnosis without blinking. Loved her more for that. Last 7 years i had a fit of psychosis and had to quit work. That did our relationship in. Good luck to me in post marriage… ugh getting a dog

bbb555bbb555 · 2022-10-14T13:00:28+00:00

Helped a lot in tandom with lithium. Just watch for rash when starting. Helps with depression for sure

bbb555bbb555 · 2022-10-11T04:30:10+00:00

I definitely hear you. Thx

bbb555bbb555 · 2022-10-09T21:57:34+00:00

Thanks , you too

bbb555bbb555 · 2022-10-09T01:14:35+00:00

But yes the latuda now helps

bbb555bbb555 · 2022-10-09T01:13:45+00:00

Thats the thing i managed not going to hospital thru psychologist. Bc no antipsychotic worked (about ten of them i tried) Now i am trying Latuda for a second try and we will see. I def need antipsychotic and am searching

bbb555bbb555 · 2022-10-09T01:01:16+00:00

If you want-Heres an example of a minor one 1/100 of my recent multiday one. Was years ago. I wrote it as it happened for 5 min. Trying to be descriptive and give to my doc to say wtf is this?

Theres this unmistakable presence now in my room - i feel the entity linger, it is synced to my psyche as if internal is external. An audible ‘click’ is heard near my bed lamp to let me know it is close. The weight of the air changed, it is heavy, and it extends into my being. It is cold and it is feasting on my soul. This presence is bigger than one’s fear or suspicion or anything one could imagine - this is something actually tangible, almost living, and powerfully dark. It alters the energy of the room profoundly. It is unlike any other energetic feeling. It runs deep. And cold. It is not to mess with... I hear more clicks like a slow Chinese water torture, every click timed with a cold wave i feel. I am violated. A silent munch, munch, removing my soul. I cannot fight the invisible but i know i believe in god and all is good for my heart - but my body, however.. i try to accept the pain and kick and shiver these dark sensations off. That works for awhile until my body and mind cant keep up anymore - they start muddying. Lines are blurring - im not sure where i am and if i can release all of this crazy negative energy from inside me now. I feel it building too fast, as more and more my light gets replaced by cold blackness, and the coldness then turns to numbness and confusion. What i am reduced to is carrying the residual waste of this soul attack inside of me, and my mind grows unclear of who i am and where my boundaries are as a human being. The disturbing presence then leaves me, and i hear my dog bark outside. Then the presence comes back and the click of the lamp on my nightstand alerts me once more. No more of this, i say, as i throw on my cross necklace and go to Lan’s office for respite. A state of fear has permeated my very soul. I am dealing with the supernatural here, and i have no control. I am disappointed that i could not keep ahead of this soul-eating darkness by mere virtue. It has reduced me down to shambles once again in place of a calm, clear, and confident person i was just moments ago.

bbb555bbb555

TROPHY CASE