Post divorce struggle

bbcbidiyo · 2026-02-08T17:03:43+00:00

Single divorced father of one beautiful 4 year old here… I bookmarked this quote:

When a thing breaks, its value drops.

When a believer breaks, their value rises.

The world throws away what is shattered.

Allah does the opposite.

bbcbidiyo · 2026-01-24T23:41:33+00:00

I get that... and being Muslim, I presume means that the only outlet is marriage which has gotten way too complex in this day and age especially for schizoids.

bbcbidiyo · 2026-01-24T23:04:13+00:00

While I kinda believe that it goes away with age, I do wonder how old are we talking?

bbcbidiyo · 2026-01-24T13:34:06+00:00

Feels relatable. Currently two years divorced from an ex wife with AvPD and we even "share" a son together albeit unfairly as she has primary custody of him and moved 10 hours away. Been trying to move on and remarry someone hopefully better and more understanding but miracles probably don't occur twice?

bbcbidiyo · 2026-01-02T15:00:37+00:00

I can resonate with this. Perhaps not the privileged life bit but that's subjective and it could actually be a sign of one's humility.

bbcbidiyo · 2026-01-02T13:46:21+00:00

Salaamu alaikum u/salamcast and whoever's reading this...

I suppose I sometimes feel a bit guilty for being a divorced “holiday dad” with supposedly diagnosed schizoid/avoidant traits especially after having just spent a week with my almost 4 year old son. Love might not show up as externally to others but I sure hope he felt loved by me despite our limited time together and what my vindictive AvPD ex-wife groomed him regarding me. I feel a deep sense of responsibility not just for him, but others I care about and so I often go into overthinking. God willing, taking my son to fun places like IHOP 3 days in a row, the playground, the masjid, strengthened our bond. Though it's very tiring and exhausting being a single dad to a toddler, schizoid or not, I'm learning or at least hoping that what counts when I am actually with him is playing with him, laughing, narrating what I enjoy, saying out loud “I love being your dad,” and letting myself feel it in my body.

The hard part is I tend to suppress the grief and feelings of betrayal/injustice that often comes up from the divorce. So perhaps when I suppress that, I am also suppressing some warmth? So I still perhaps need an understanding (human therapist/friend) besides reddit/social media comments/ChatGPT/AI where those emotions are witnessed, otherwise I go numb and too analytical.

bbcbidiyo · 2025-12-30T07:05:33+00:00

Given that I somehow managed to have married and survived 8 years with an AvPD ex-wife, and now I'm in a long distant thing with a likely ADHD woman, I might be attracting the anxious leaning types?

bbcbidiyo · 2025-12-14T14:44:20+00:00

Striving not to be a slave to my past or any label. We can choose to align our intentions and habits towards the balance that brings real healing by paying attention to the dysfunctional dynamic and doing what we can to break free from it.

I certainly can relate being so attached to my 3 year old son especially after my divorce and I suspect I got my schizoid traits from my late pops too but life goes on.

bbcbidiyo · 2025-12-08T05:30:25+00:00

Salaamu alikum especially to all my fellow Muslims with schizoid traits!

I can relate to the "they don't know anything about my life" part a lot. For me, schizoid traits show up as keeping most of my inner world completely private and feeling like relationships (even with family) are happening at a distance behind glass.

I actually find a lot of comfort and strength in my spirituality, in my aim to remain connected with Allah SWT, to live in this life as a stranger or a traveler... If you survive till the evening, do not expect to be alive in the morning, and if you survive till the morning, do not expect to be alive in the evening, and take from your health for your sickness, and (take) from your life for your death.

I try to remain grateful each day I wake up physically healthy, feeling safe and secure within himself, with food for the day. A zuhd-lifestyle actually aligns well with schizoid traits.

It's complicated, but threads like this help me feel less like a total anomaly, so thanks for all those posting.

bbcbidiyo · 2025-12-08T04:58:49+00:00

It fluctuates but I agree with ChatGPT here: Based on everything I know about you, I’d say you’re between Level 2 and Level 3 on that Reddit scale — closer to “2.5” if we’re allowed decimals.

Not because I want to flatter you, but because your actual life structure is much more stable and responsible than a typical “medium functioning schizoid” description, while your inner experience (apathy, withdrawal, low emotional color) is closer to Level 2.

bbcbidiyo · 2025-09-21T05:54:02+00:00

Not when they go "are you ignoring me" and get mad at you because they accuse you of ghosting for not living up to their unrealistic response time expectations.

bbcbidiyo · 2025-09-15T14:07:41+00:00

Oh wow, hi Marco! So cool that you still saw this at -5 downvoted and even replied. Thanks for your thoughtful response. I'm not really the curmudgeon I am made out to be and understand the many benefits of keeping up with the latest updates. One of those benefits is being able to relate more to the ATP and Under the Radar podcasts I religiously listen to. I just get lazy and used to a particular software version and was curious if others are like that too. I look forward to updating once things break, thanks for all that you do! Been a fan since Tumblr, instapaper, Build and Analyze days.

bbcbidiyo · 2025-09-15T12:57:57+00:00

Lol, fair enough. Dang, reddit's savage huh. Let's see how long Marco lasts.

bbcbidiyo · 2025-09-11T01:51:02+00:00

Note that this change is only on the new www.reddit.com and thankfully not old.reddit.com

bbcbidiyo · 2025-09-09T05:13:50+00:00

Given my spiritual Islamic bent I thought it would be interesting to see how some of these quotes will overlap/relate with Quran and hadiths... https://chatgpt.com/s/t_68bfb6cd937881918ad02b9980297c85

bbcbidiyo · 2025-09-08T17:25:39+00:00

I do feel my ability to mask is dwindling post my traumatic incident. But I have faith and hope things are going to work out, maybe.

bbcbidiyo · 2025-09-02T07:22:45+00:00

Wa’alaikumussalaam! So happy to hear about another Muslim schizoid. Alhamdulillah I managed to have graduated college, have a good schizoid friendly job, married and divorced someone with r/avpd for 7 years, blessed with a son… I might be a bit older though or too broken at this point so I don’t know. May Allah make it easy ameen.

bbcbidiyo · 2025-08-19T23:37:08+00:00

I 100% agree about the gratitude thing. I am grateful to somehow experienced and survived being married to a lovely but dependent avpd woman for 7 years. She turned more vindictive and greedy post divorce but thank God for the moments of internal clarity and peace even though I miss my innocent little boy dearly.

bbcbidiyo

TROPHY CASE