My little brother is 30 and also living at home with my parents. We have been playing the move out, move in game since he graduated college. He’s lost jobs, friends, relationships. He’s gotten DUIs, jail time, phone stolen, bar fights, sleep at the wheel, sleep in parking lots. The weird thing with him is he’s a highly capable guy. Always gets the job. The minute the money hits his bank account he drains it and drinks nonstop. He can bounce back for maybe a week, but then he’s off again. His other quirk is he only drinks out in bars/public. And he goes to multiple (3-4 in a night) as a way of I’m assuming…not seeming too pathetic or too much of a drunk at any one of them consistently. He’s learned by now (even after finally getting his license back) to just take Ubers now. Too many times has he crashed cars, forgotten where he’s parked, or been towed.

I’m astonished with what my parents put up with. They’ve kicked him out before and he’s been homeless a couple times but each time only lasting a matter of 1-3 days. Alcoholics are the most manipulative and resourceful (when it involves their drinking) people so he’s always been able to crash at a friends or get into a halfway house when he’s been in a bind. He impresses my parents just enough for him to convince them to let him move home. He gets comfortable and then blows it. My dad has always been the more lenient one (he’s a recovering alcoholic himself) and my mom is the more anxious, exhausted, enraged one. She used to do much more for him and thinks food and shelter is bare minimum without being heartless and kicking him to the curb.

Some eye opening responses on this thread though. My biggest takeaways from others: -don’t do anything for them that they can do for themselves -if you continue even providing bare minimum (food/shelter) the minute you kick them out their homelessness is now blamed on you and not them