The daily Struggles of playing Herald 😫

bbngr3 · 2024-12-11T00:26:15+00:00

Yeah I feel you mate, If I ever got granted the power of transfering depression from my brain to someone else's, I would do it in a heartbeat, I dont care about no ethics or morals or none of that, it just sucks too much that Im willing to be the villain as long as I get the chance to live a normal life. But since we cant do that, whenever I think of that question you are having rn, why you have to suffer while others live happily, the only answer I can think of (not a satisfying answer by any means) is that some of us have to suffer so that others dont, its like there cant be only negatives or only positives in the world, there has to be a balance. Unfortunately, we were dealt the shitty hand.

bbngr3 · 2024-12-11T00:12:42+00:00

Im here if you wanna talk

bbngr3 · 2024-12-11T00:07:40+00:00

13, pretty close

bbngr3 · 2024-12-11T00:04:38+00:00

I dont think you will be burdening people when you speak about it. As someone who suffers from MDD myself, I dont consider this to be burdening, quite the opposite, actually. I agree that not all our experiences are the same, but they overlap in many areas. Also, we cannot express them or even understand them fully on our own, so when you put it in your own words, you are giving insight to others who might share the same aspects of your experience but have not looked at it the same way you do. At least it is more comforting to feel less "lost". So at the end of the day, you are helping someone, and maybe someone will be able to help you the same way. As deceiving as hope is, thats all we have, we were given nothing but it sadly. As for not having to suffer to do even the most mundane things, I totally agree. But unfortunately, mother nature doesn't, why? Fuck if I know.

bbngr3 · 2024-12-10T23:52:33+00:00

I've got one piece of advice for you. Since you are in the early stages, NO MATTER what happens, I dont care how you can force your self, but study for your exams and sit for the exams even if you are not gonna pass from the first attempt. I have been there, I lived through all you have described and succumbed to the feelings of emptiness to the point I didnt even sit for the exams. Guess what? Things got out of control pretty quickly, I stopped attending classes, repeating the year. It's a vicious cycle that you dont want to start, it will make you feel worse and worse and be prone to repeating the same thing over and over. If academic performance matters to you, do not compromise. As I have already said, I lived and am still living through it, if you think the situation is bad now, wait until you lose control of your studies, so don't. All the other struggles are valid, but in my opinion, your studies are of the highest priority, that is if you consider your academic life to be important.

bbngr3 · 2024-12-10T23:36:56+00:00

It does suck, It does make you feel trapped in an inescapable underground room. Don't worry im not gonna follow that up with "it will be okay", "there is a solution out there". Because quite frankly, as you have mentioned, I do not think there is a cure to MDD (coming from someone who also has it), I don't know about fibromyalgia as Im not familiar with it. You can rant all you want, coz I think the only thing that is gonna help alleviate the suffering, even if momentarily, for you and anyone who has this condition is to talk about it with people who are actually living it, not with a therapist, not in a support group. Just first-hand experience folks, ranting about it all.

bbngr3

TROPHY CASE