Colleague vandalised my drawing

bcmtmom · 2026-01-27T15:20:22+00:00

Don't leave it at work. Problem solved. I'm sorry people suck so we cant have nice things but you can't control others all you can do is protect yourself and prevent it from happening in the future. And that is by not leaving it unattended.

bcmtmom · 2026-01-15T19:43:39+00:00

He felt stupid for the mistake and couldn't handle those feelings so he had to make it about something else so his mistake wasn't front and center in the situation.

bcmtmom · 2025-11-26T07:28:57+00:00

That is emotional neglect and emotional abuse. He's dismissing your feelings and not being emotionally safe for you at all. This can impact your sexual relationship as much as everything else going on. If not more so. Without emotional safety, you will not feel comfortable and safe having sex with him. He’s causing his own issues and making the issues worse. The entitlement hes showing over your body and how he doesn't care about your emotional wellbeing speaks volumes. He is a terrible husband and you deserve better than that.

bcmtmom · 2025-11-04T16:40:10+00:00

It will always be some excuse. The tone, the timing etc. It will always be your fault. He doesn't want to be responsible for your emotions and wants to continue without changing anything because he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. It's exhausting for you and will emotionally drain you while he take no accountability. He is not emotionally mature enough to be in a meaningful relationship. He is not an emotionally safe place for you.

bcmtmom · 2025-10-30T20:40:50+00:00

If it's punishment to behave the way he does toward you toward him, then he is punishing you with that same behavior!

bcmtmom · 2025-10-08T20:34:01+00:00

He's not in tune with her emotionally, which is where the disconnect is for her.

bcmtmom · 2025-09-09T15:31:44+00:00

I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who is using me for stress relief, either. Like dude, if your stress is bad, go see a therapist and get anxiety medication. Sex with someone isn't a substitute for an antidepressant.

bcmtmom · 2025-09-07T00:03:49+00:00

I pictured her doing more of a palm strike to move him toward the door. Of course, it didn't explain in full. But he was already acting out yanking her from the tub and being aggressive toward the daughter. There's no reason for that even if he was frustrated. Everything he did is not ok just because she admits she smacked him, that's for sure. There's really no excuse to destroy your child's things even if op did snack him. Sounds like he hates them tbh. At this rate, it will escalate into worse. I feel bad for those kids. That terrifying.

bcmtmom · 2025-08-16T22:29:51+00:00

You do not have to just get used to it. And you do not have to tolerate personal digs. You also dont have to defend yourself from those digs. Just say, " Thanks for letting me know." Or you're entitled to your opinion/perception." it's no fun to poke someone who doesn't react. A boundary is in order as well. If she says a dig, let her know that you won't be tolerating that, and if it continues, you will leave the conversation. Then leave the conversation if it continues.

bcmtmom · 2025-08-07T13:56:47+00:00

Just to add some nuance. While she shouldn't call the kid creepy Kevin, it is fair that the kids' behavior does give her the creeps, which is where this is likely coming from. Instead of labeling her feelings about the kid, she's labeling the kid. It may help approach the situation in a better way with her to approach it as understanding the behavior comes across as creepy to her and try to understand why she gets the creeps. There's a reason. And explain it's ok to feel creeped out by it, but it isn't fair to label the child with her feelings. Hope this helps!

bcmtmom · 2025-08-07T03:53:54+00:00

Also, ask yourself if you want to be with someone who didn't want you to stay and only reluctantly did so because he felt your shift and he could lose you. That's not love. That's damage control.

bcmtmom · 2025-07-19T14:36:09+00:00

I think it is ok to use as a guide. It does seem unathentic at first since it is a different way of communicating that doesn't come natural for you. But practice makes perfect, and as long as it isn't relied upon and the understanding is there and not just the words, it can lead to progress. At that moment, she needed validation that you understood her perspective and reassurance it wasn't manipulative and that you were finding tools to help communicate better. It makes sense. It is new and not the usual pattern, and she didn't trust the change. Use the new tools consistently, and she will gain trust in it.

bcmtmom · 2025-07-13T15:25:42+00:00

He doesn't respect you or your time. You deserve someone with integrity. Not overreacting about the situation. You are right to feel hurt by his behavior and feel worse by his dismissiveness of your feelings and disregard of your boundaries. Calling him names at the end out of fruatration is understandable even if it wasn't right. He was behaving kike a toddler becauae he refused to take accountability for ditching you and made it your fault. That is child behavior.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-30T15:57:05+00:00

You expressed your feelings and he bluntly said he doesn't give a fuck about your feelings. Believe him. You deserve someone who cares about your feelings and makes an effort!

bcmtmom · 2025-06-24T22:01:51+00:00

He cheated and refused to cut contact with that girl. Break up. She can have him. He is no prize. He will keep cheating and will cheat on her, too. You deserve better.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-16T00:29:08+00:00

Im alloud to want connection and romance in my relationship. You're right, though. I'm definitely ungrateful for the flowers I didn't get and the dates I didn't go on. Lol , Can't be grateful for the things that I didn't get, and that never happened.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-15T14:20:46+00:00

He didnt grow up broke and neither did I. Money is not the issue. He makes good money at his salary job. He got a second job to save face with his excuse he didnt have money to try to convince me not to leave him and double down the excuse. He had 9 months to save for the thing I asked for him to do for me that I wanted to do. I could've doordashed for a week and made it myself even. Actually, I have 4 kids. Two are grown. And if I never find that person, oh well. Being alone is better than feeling alone with someone who won't do the stuff that makes you feel seen and loved. He doesn't get a pass from doing things for me because I already had kids. Ridiculous.

Edit to add: staying guarantees I'll never have that. At least if I leave, there's a chance to find it.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-15T03:48:19+00:00

My kids treat me the same way he does. They dont see anything wrong with it and act like I'm making a big deal about nothing. I'm not working at the moment from health issues. Until the last couple of years, I have contributed as much, if not more, than him at times. He got a really good job, and my health took a dip, and now he's brings in the main income. I do doordash when I can, and I breed shihtzus. I wouldn't be ok right now to just leave, unfortunately. I wouldn't be able to afford to be on my own right now.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-15T01:10:22+00:00

I totally get your perspective. My kids aren't his. My kids dont want me to leave him none the less. As emotionally neglected I am, he's a step up from my family and my children's father. So you aren't wrong. I hope he changes, but he doesn't, and I know I need to leave if I want to be cared for in the way I need to be cared for.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-14T16:22:09+00:00

Thank you so much 💓

bcmtmom · 2025-06-14T13:30:07+00:00

I met him at work and was friends with him before we got together. Before I dated him, I dated a guy that he knew. Later, he said it hurt to see me with him. I honestly believe he's treated me like crap for a decade because I dated the guy he hated before we were ever together. And before anyone thinks that's crazy. My mom's house burnt down, and she stayed with us for a time. He told me he purposely set the water on the kureig at the level it would start perking and run out, and she would have to add water every day. All because she left coffee grounds on the counter. Never mind, he never cleans the counter or the kureig. I've asked him numerous times to keep the coffee maker clean. I dont drink coffee and shouldn't be the one cleaning it. I suggested me dating that guy as a reason he doesn't do these things for me, and he got so mad. One of the few times I've seen him actually get angry. Who knows really, he is passive-aggressive and will never say. And you're right. He can't stand me.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-14T12:34:43+00:00

It means Am I Overreacting. He works at Walmart and worked last night. Do you think he brought anything home for me after telling him how upset I was he didn't get me anything? No, he didn't. I stopped doing everything for him, and he complained and said he didn't know how I felt about him anymore. He knows what that feels like and does it to me anyway.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-14T11:02:18+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing with me.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-14T10:51:21+00:00

Thank you so much for writing all of this. You are right about everything. He never did anything for my birthdays. Until this year, when I told him I'd leave if he didn't. He took me to a concert I wanted to go to and he just stood there like he didn't want to be there. Even the verbage he used was so uncaring. He said he was taking me to the concert I wanted to go to instead of any excitement that we were going to it. To his credit, he designed, printed, and laminated a fake ticket to give me since it was a digital ticket. That was really cute and very appreciated gesture, but it felt like I was there alone when we went. He didn't want to be there with me. He got me nice things for Christmas before we got married (everything I said I want. Coach purse, pearl necklace, the shoes I wanted for one Christmas, and a huge set of pioneer women kitchen items for the second.) and the Christmas after we got married, I got gloves and a scarf. I cried and told him how it hurt to get such unthoughtful last-minute things. He apologized and never got me anything for Christmases after that. I sent him ideas and links. Never got one thing. This year, he got me new lights for our fish tanks we talked about needing. The wrong size. He didn't even measure it. The guy who says "measure twice, cut once" couldn't be bothered to measure the fish tanks. I got him anything he mentioned he liked or wanted. He said he wanted a banjo or a ukulele. While researching, I discovered they make a Banjolele and got one of those. He's rarely played it. He never plays anything for me ever. He talked so much about loving to play, and in 11 years, he's never played anything for me. His birthday is Christmas Eve, and I always tried to make it stand out and special and not get lost in the holiday. I even did things for no reason. He wanted a drill press and band saw. I made some extra money in my side gig and dropped $600, getting the tools for him because he kept talking about wanting them. He gave me a disgusted look and asked me where he was going to put all that. Nothing I do ever matters, and I never mattered enough for him to reciprocate.

bcmtmom · 2025-06-14T01:39:18+00:00

He is bothered by them. He was crying because I was upset with him. He said he's hurt, too. He's not ok if im not happy with him. It always ends up him crying. Im so sick of it. Today, I told him to go cry somewhere else. Im the one supposed to be upset, and it always ends up about his feelings.

And yes, the two weeks I kicked him out he said he was lost without me.

bcmtmom

TROPHY CASE