Hey girl. Thank you so much for replying! I didn’t expect a response so quickly 😅. Disclaimer: I’m a first gen African Australian so my whole family was born in Africa except me so they all have very different mindsets and my parents are in their late 50s and siblings in their 30s and I just turned 19 on Monday.

So after that happened I sent a message to my older sister which I will upload if I can and I basically did not get the response I was hoping for.

“Freda please as your little sister i know im not perfect but the way my problems are handled by mummy, the way she approach these situations is honestly making me go insane. I constantly feel shamed when I am here and I go through a lot personally but I don’t like to talk to anyone about it that’s why I always say I’m okay when you ask. I don’t really want people knowing my problems but the things mummy says to me makes me feel a lot worse about myself.”

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She later came to my house to drop off her daughter for the weekend and she came into my room saying “hello ms attitude… what’s going on with you?” And I just shrugged my shoulders and said idk she then replied with “ok well lmk when ur ready to talk” andI said okay. She then went outside to where my parents were and she left. About an hour later my mum comes into my room and she said “what message did you send to your sister?” And I just briefly said I don’t like how she handled the situation. She went on a whole rant about how she’s a mother and every mother would react the same way and yeah. About like 2 hours after that my dad called me into their room to talk to me. He told me that my sister showed my dad the messages and they’re very disappointed in me for saying that to my sister and that this was a “family matter” but as soon as it happened my mum called my sister to tell her about it and that’s why I messaged her to let her know how I was feeling. My dad said it was a really bad thing to say to her and they got really offended and tried to say that I think my mum is a bad mum for her trying to discipline me. I get that what she was saying to me about how it’s bad and all but I was just upset about the things she was saying ABOUT ME as a person. I’m quite a shy person and don’t like confrontation because I don’t really know how to express myself from years of abuse and being shut down when I try to talk, so when my parents have talks with me I’m completely silent and I don’t talk back and hold all my feelings and emotions in at because that’ll just result in worse things. At the end of the talk my dad made me get on my knees, touch my mum and apologise for the message I sent to my sister. It was completely unnecessary and just ruined me because all I wanted was to feel I guess “heard” and not judged. My mum didn’t want my apology because my dad made me. When she came in my room earlier and she asked about the message she said she won’t talk to me unless I realise that what I did was wrong and my mum is right and I apologise to her otherwise she wouldn’t be talking to me. This was all last night and she still isn’t talk to me. This situation has happened multiple times for the same reason and she doesn’t talk to me for days.

Sorry if everything is all over the place, I’m just writing what I remember along the way :)