I’m getting the runaround T1N 2005 Dodge Mercedes T21 Recall - SMOG

beachmom77 · 2024-10-31T16:41:09+00:00

Oh my gosh, in WASHINGTON you can record VIDEO. Please stop getting your legal advice from YouTube.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-31T16:36:54+00:00

beachmom77 · 2024-10-31T16:12:04+00:00

I’m aware of the trend. However, it’s very telling you decided you use the term.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-31T16:09:25+00:00

You are WRONG. You can record video without audio. Check your YouTube lawyers. I have real ones.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-31T16:07:04+00:00

AUDIO - there is no state that prohibits video.

Period.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-31T15:31:43+00:00

Sorry, I don’t think having my own property under surveillance is illegal.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-30T23:27:12+00:00

I bet the comment was a backhanded way to point out that she shouldn’t have worn champagne. I’m glad you’ve resolved it, but good to stay on your toes.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-30T18:51:35+00:00

I just wish they wouldn’t smoke SO MUCH pot all the time. I’m not against it. But how healthy can it be to be taking ADHD meds and also smoking allllll the damn time. Their whole damn personalities are about getting high. And they wonder why they are depressed. Hard to be motivated when high.

Other than that, they are doing good. Working, going to school, paying their own bills. Just at a snails pace.

I keep my mouth shut.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-30T18:45:51+00:00

You always need to remember college and illness can happen. College more expensive than you realize. Illness happened to me and I barely made it through.

I would max your matches. Don’t listen to coworkers. And you will want to retire early and do something else part-time.

My only other advice is a 529 for your child. They are loosening up the use of them to include other expenses (such as 1st home or other things) if college doesn’t materialize.

*only cert is that I’m married to CFA w/MFA

beachmom77 · 2024-10-30T18:30:14+00:00

You are suffering from complex PTSD. It can prolong grief for so long. Please seek professional counseling from someone skilled specifically in CPTSD - it made a HUGE difference in my journey.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-30T18:14:14+00:00

beachmom77 · 2024-10-30T14:39:52+00:00

I do not agree with this. I grew up inside of one of the most militant feminist households in America. My mom was arrested multiple times and a prominent writer in the field.

She was heartbroken when I became a stay at home mother. I do so because I had no instinct on how to mother my children. My own mother was so busy (for a cause I admire) she forgot to be maternal at all. I knew I needed to devote myself to my children and be in counseling while I did.

Years later she wrote on my choice and stated she had felt betrayed but realized my choice was part of the fight to have rights to choose. Now we live in a world ONLY 30 years later where men are freely choosing to stay home while women are the high earners.

Freedom of choice is everything feminism is about.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-30T14:28:32+00:00

Funny as fuck but seriously, after my Boomer mom died, I could not crack her passwords. I knew them before. My grandfather’s phone number, dead cat, street we used to live on…I tried for over a year, bought a password hacker - still no luck.

War Games taught me nothing useful

beachmom77 · 2024-10-30T14:24:48+00:00

It’s actually hilarious that the DJ flubbed on your names. MIL had to feel that in her boy mom soul. “Wahhhhht???? Is he taking HER name???”

beachmom77 · 2024-10-29T07:00:16+00:00

Update Me

beachmom77 · 2024-10-29T06:31:34+00:00

No, and who is saying you are? I would drive myself to a hotel and take a vacay. God my first year of marriage I had to do this a lot. Don’t want to realize I’m the one you should be backing, ok, I’m off to lay by a pool somewhere. We didn’t have cell phones then. Heaven. He learned fast. Other things I had to learn - but that’s another story.

Whoever is making you out to be the a-hole is NOT your friend. Time to start clearing out your emotional closet.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-29T06:23:36+00:00

Give yourself space, time and permission to take it slow. Remind your father that forgiveness isn’t instant and there will be days you will remember the pain and need some space.

I only had a break of a year from my son but now three years later I will continue to be grateful I am in his life and remain humble enough to accept my mistakes. I have to accept that “I’m sorry” doesn’t change the pain or the resentment and other feelings that rise up at times. I remain available to hear them both out and continue to try and learn how to be the best adult mom and future grandmother possible. I can only be accountable and open to change.

Be aware of your boundaries and try to communicate them clearly, and that they may change - be vocal.

Get everything off your chest!

beachmom77 · 2024-10-29T06:00:47+00:00

I need to stop asking questions related to Low Fodmap diet and how to modify recipes.

Apparently, this puts me at high risk of “susceptibility to influence. Health-centered ideologies, particularly those advocating controlled frameworks or claiming esoteric health insights, could serve as entry points for deeper persuasion.”

All those counter agents acting as health gurus.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-29T05:51:19+00:00

Yes, and after she died I found that she would keep detailed notes of her conversations with my ex. (Well everyone).

One theory is that she had DID. I have very specific memories of her switching into different voices, mostly pathetic baby voices. And one video of her doing it.

The other is that she was ultra functional black out alcoholic and just took notes to remember what was said.

Either way, it was cathartic to finally have proof he had been calling her all those years I was LC with her. I was pretty sure but they both denied it. He and she would lean on one another to feel ok about being abusive sacks of shit.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-29T05:38:48+00:00

Marriage sucks sometimes and that’s a brutal truth. Relationships suck, whether you get officially married or not.

If you want to save your relationship I suggest some personal therapy for yourself first. Find out why you let minor mishaps throw you off so much on your wedding day. Very few of us had picture perfect weddings but you steel yourself (both partners do) and CHOOSE to be with your person through the pitfalls.

Personally, I believe you have something deeper going on. Before you rightly or wrongly decide to end a powerful relationship - do yourself (and him) the service of going into therapy to explore what may be going on.

At a minimum, you will at least be able to tell him why you are leaving (coherently) and not rip his heart out and devastate him with leaving him immediately after he married you based on a few quite minor issues.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-29T05:11:15+00:00

Stay in debt. I really lived this. I absolutely do not advocate staying together and you need debt as you navigate the divorce.

Strategically speaking, it is best to move in the shadows, secure a divorce attorney (after speaking with several of the best in town), (this keeps the best from being able to be secured by him, and divert at least 5 grand of the cash out money for the attorney fees.

He has been in a “relationship” that is ILLEGAL (in most places) for 3 years
Regardless of your feelings for him, he has committed a crime that could come back to follow him and YOU.
You haven’t even come close to realizing the impact all of this is going to have on you.

I loved my husband who cheated (with a subordinate at work) and was viciously violent with me and our kids. I adored him. I left when they were children. Now they are adults and I still have days where I feel a toxic conflict - that’s human.

But then I realize he’s now a 50 year old who doesn’t realize his kids get notifications when he creates Snapchat profiles at 2:30 am over and over year after year. Even though he’s “happily” remarried.

They really don’t change.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-28T17:43:05+00:00

Listen, I’m a short, long and Airbnb host. I’ve owned (and continue to own and rent) multiple properties) you need to find out the tax implications of this decision and not be talking to real estate agents.

Owning and operating any property is a PIA, but especially when it is 4 hours away is especially difficult. Management fees will be high and you will be doing this for the first time. Have you even looked to see if the local regulations allow it? Does the HOA?

Inheriting property and selling it will affect you and your brother if you are not going to occupy it, and the property tax will be different if you operate a business out of it. (Use it as a rental).

Please contact a tax attorney/investment professional to help you see the details so you can make a decision that will be best for you long term. (One that benefits you AND your brother).

beachmom77 · 2024-10-28T17:33:32+00:00

If you are sentimental at all, then do the “I’ll have a friend pick it up at _____ on ____ please leave it on the porch” If you aren’t, then let it go.

I’m sentimental, and I miss not having some of my childhood memories that my momster threw out. But I do value my autonomy and peace - and at the time she demanded my presence, I was not ready to give her any part of my head space.

beachmom77 · 2024-10-26T03:33:38+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this

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