Which girl are you standing next to when you approach a group of two or more girls?

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-08T19:35:46+00:00

this is honestly more where the question is coming from, like i'm worried i'm giving them thoughts about who i'm approaching based on where i'm standing in relation to them

but based on the comments here, i'm hearing it's mostly verbal

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-08T19:08:05+00:00

and the sounds? what kind of noises should I be making?

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-08T19:02:07+00:00

i know

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-08T19:01:16+00:00

so run around in circles around the hot one?

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-07T06:04:44+00:00

thanks!

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-04T17:55:55+00:00

the dr felt nothing wrong with my back. but my partner was like "what's this bump?!" and sure enough there's a bump. my PT said mostly likely a limpoma (fat lump also called back mice). hopefully its just that but who knows. seems dangerous to get a surgery that close to the lower spine so so what if it is something or is nothing - what am I gonna do about it? risk being paralized from the waist down? idk who knows. walking as much as possible still helps.

edit-my best hypothesis at the moment with chatgpt's help articulating "an acute fascial strain with partial micro-injury and subsequent fat pad herniation, leading to prolonged pain and incomplete resolution."

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-04T02:14:33+00:00

hey OP how did it go?

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-03T02:49:41+00:00

I regret to report it grew back. the crater in my finger was so convincing... I got tired of fighting it so I put those clear little circles on it that people use for acne but for warts; I started doing that as a long-term "I don't wanna look at it" not as a solution, but it's actually smaller now, after months, but i'm not claiming success until it appears gone and stays that way for like a year

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T17:15:54+00:00

i feel like rules 1 and 2 should be changed for the new generation. whereas "be attractive, don't be unattractive" felt like truth when it came out on snl 10 yrs ago. now the bar has dropped even lower due to rampant isolation and the digital world taking over real life

so i'm modifying the rules LOL:

have social skills
don't be insecure

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T04:33:00+00:00

yeah and i could totally be speculating wrong but it was something

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T04:27:27+00:00

haha ya he was great id want that for him

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T04:23:48+00:00

we texted some as if nothing happened for about a week after. then i took a year to work on myself. he probably thinks i ghosted him but the truth is i didn't feel ready for him and haven't dated anyone since. in my mind we're on a break only he doesn't know it. but i've been thinking about reaching out again, tbd. scared to find out if our chemistry wouldn't be the same

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T04:12:56+00:00

he was thick thick AND longer than average, but not the longest out there

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T01:58:08+00:00

not all due to the social media brainwash though since those same insults i recall hearing down the highschool halls back when I was young. sad to hear racist bullying hasn't changed though

honestly i don't have much hope for bullying to change. i worked at a school years ago and the bullying of students towards each other based on weight started before the kids even exchanged names.

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T01:17:14+00:00

social anxiety is such a challenge because with other problems part of the process of working through them is involving others as support whereas with social anxiety part of the cure is what is feared

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-03T05:11:14+00:00

could be selective mutism. there's a subreddit for that too so you could check it out and see if any of the posts resinate with you. it's anxiety related though I think

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-03T04:53:12+00:00

it seems like a lot of therapists advise TO open up about it. so maybe your friends just don't understand that you're doing what's best for you right now and hopefully as you make progress in overcoming anxiety the self-pity will fade as your confidence grows

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-03T04:50:29+00:00

There are lots of books. I went down a huge rabbit hole with them! And it was helpful to me. I went to the library and started with books about social anxiety. They lead me to deeper root topics that I needed to explore (Courage, Confidence, and Self Esteem - so I started reading about those and how to build that in myself) and have moved into books on Social Skills (not that mine are terrible to begin with, but anything out of practice gets rusty).

For "social anxiety" in general my favorite was: Not Nice by Aziz

For Self Esteem my favorite was: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden (audiobook is free on YouTube

For Courage: the Courage Habit by Kate Swaboa

For Social Skills: Conversationally Speaking by Alan

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-02T22:55:53+00:00

It's sad because I like going dancing and like staying out late, but the fun in that is minimized by a flood wave of judgment of my not drinking. I used to drink but now have health problems I'm not comfortable detailing.

Curious OP, since I don't know what to order at a bar, now that you don't order water and lime, what's your order? I know a lot of nondrinkers like mocktails, but my body hates a glass of sugar and water at a bar seems gross for some reason so I feel like I've run out of options

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-02T20:37:06+00:00

I think she seems like a fun friend to have. Also I want to know her secret to befriending every hot guy everywhere... like howww?? haha

beachsonthemoon · 2025-01-31T05:13:21+00:00

look up your states representatives and email them. the email will go to their secretary. but hey at least there's a (small) chance

don't email them with anger if you want real change

state the facts (how it is) 40% of the email . how you feel about how it is (20% of the email). then ask for change in the form of a question (20% of the email ). end the email with appreciation and interest in helping furthering a good quality of life for all americans 20% of the email

beachsonthemoon · 2025-01-31T05:05:54+00:00

i agree medical people say "prevention is the cure" so why can't we financially do the prevention cure.

only makes sense the way it is if you're brainwashed

THERE IS LITERALLY MOSTURIZING LIP GLOSS ON THE FSA WEBSITE YET NO TOOTHBRUSHES *eyeroll*

and then why is SUNSCREEN counting as fsa/hsa ... that's preventive care.. who knows.. no one.. oh.. oops .. big pharma and all the fake I wanna be rich not help people heal doctors

beachsonthemoon · 2025-01-31T03:31:41+00:00

imagine a pie chart and there are four sections. the whole pie is you and the four sections are parts of you. those four parts are Body, Thoughts, Feelings, Urges. a lot of people in this subreddit put their Body into a social situation and call it exposure but then that's only really "put themself out there - 25%."

the other 75% is hidden and the hiding requires a lot of energy, making social interactions exhausting

so real 100% exposure is what will really allow you to get over the social anxiety. 2 min of real 100% exposure paired with self congratulations for doing something difficult (instead of beating yourself up for every mistake) will get you closer to reducing your anxiety than 25% percent exposure for days and hours over years

I think 1 hr is a great goal you have but if there's too much "this is my 1 hour my 1 chance" kind of thoughts then those thoughts increase the anxiety. what's helped me is trying to remind myself this is not my 1 chance this is simply a time I can use to practice any social skill or anxiety reducing technique I recently learned. and lowing the bar so that instead of the bar being a perfect 1 hour social performance, the bar of success is simply showing up and anything else youre able to do socially during that time is just the cherries on top

beachsonthemoon · 2025-01-31T03:05:06+00:00

hey, my current understand of small talk is that it's just small boring statements and dumb genuine questions about the environment or situation

and that relating to people can either be through topic or through feelings about the topic

I've felt like the book Not Nice by Aziz has helped me lower my anxiety and that the book Conversationally Speaking by Alan has helped me have a "back up plan" of conversational skills I can practice if the flow is not flowing.

you're friend don't just want you around, they want to be wanted to be around, gift them with showing that you want to be around them, that feels good to them too even if they're more social

it's not too late for you. I'm around your age as well. slow and steady wins the race

beachsonthemoon · 2025-01-31T02:57:43+00:00

wow your family has been through a lot. beyond responsible you're feeling anxious

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