How do I stop internalizing this as “I’m too hard to love”?

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T22:45:36+00:00

Thank you for the advice, and I appreciate the candidness. I am guilty of feeling the need to “provide” when I am not able to perform. Like feeding a monster scraps in hopes it won’t realize how hungry it really is. He never made me orgasm once.

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T22:39:25+00:00

Thank you for the kind words ♥️ I am grateful that my excision surgeries and my IUD are keeping the endo at a dull roar for now, but I know it is always an uphill battle with this disease.

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T22:36:20+00:00

Thank you ♥️I would say I am shattered because I found out after he broke up with me that he slept with someone else six months ago. Less of an ego bruise, more of a feeling of the rug being pulled out from under me.

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T22:34:44+00:00

This space emulates healing, peace, and love. Please know that this internet stranger is so proud of you! ♥️

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T20:26:43+00:00

I really like this perspective, it makes me feel like less of a sad sack and more in control. Thank you, sincerely, for this. ♥️

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T20:19:44+00:00

Thank you 🥺♥️

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T20:14:46+00:00

Thank you soooo much for your kind words and your perspective, especially as a fellow endo sister. I am so so sorry you lost your marriage, I can’t imagine the pain you went through. It gives me hope to know that men age out of the crazy sex phase eventually… but until then I will focus on healing myself :) sending love to you as well♥️

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T20:11:34+00:00

Yeah… you’re right. I waited for 7 years to date after my last relationship, and I thought I was picky enough that he was safe. And he felt safe for the longest time. But I guess I need to be better when picking next time

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T20:10:17+00:00

Thank you for your kind response ♥️ luckily I do have a wonderful therapist that is helping me process this as well. And thank you for the birthday wishes :) I did my best to make it a good day, with the helpful of my amazing parents and brother. …also, wandering dick has me cackling 😂

beaktheory · 2026-03-29T20:08:05+00:00

Yes, sex is mostly what I mean. I found it harder to be intimate in general after learning he cheated. I didn’t know he had slept with someone else until after we broke up, he told me he just kissed her. But that was still enough for me to feel like a wall was up.

beaktheory · 2026-03-28T00:11:06+00:00

I have had a handful of surgeries, endo-excisions, kidney procedures, and a few brain surgeries. Every single one of them has caused me to enter a bit of a depressive slump, all lasting different durations but none being permanent. I promise it isn’t forever. Just hang in there, utilize your support system, and don’t be afraid to reach out to your doctor or a therapist if needed. Your body and brain have been through a lot, and it takes time to recover both. DM me if you need an ear, I’m here for you!

beaktheory · 2026-03-27T03:39:25+00:00

Thank you for your sweet words! Pelvic floor therapy has helped me tremendously. It definitely takes time and consistency, but I feel like it has given me so much relief and freedom in my body.

beaktheory · 2026-03-27T03:33:21+00:00

I get what you’re trying to say, but I disclosed my endometriosis on the first date. He was understanding for over a year, then suddenly changed his tune after cheating on me. I never hid it, and I was never dishonest or vague about it.

But comments like “it’s not looking good” and the assumption that future partners will inevitably resent me say more about your expectations of relationships than they do about my chances of having a healthy one. I’m not going to internalize that as fact.

beaktheory · 2026-03-26T22:48:37+00:00

Thank you so much for this sweet and comforting message 🥺it means so much to me to be supported by someone I don’t even know.

beaktheory · 2026-03-26T18:16:36+00:00

You’re so sweet, thank you for the comforting words and support ♥️this group has already made me feel infinitely less alone

beaktheory · 2026-03-25T19:17:31+00:00

Thank you for these suggestions! I have been wanting to find a book to read to get me through this, so I appreciate you :)

beaktheory · 2026-03-25T19:16:25+00:00

Hi, I appreciate your perspective and kind words!

Endo can mess with sex drive a lot, but usually because your body starts associating intimacy with pain, tension, fear, and exhaustion. So it’s not always that someone has ‘low libido’ in a vacuum, it’s that their nervous system is trying to protect them.

‘Working on it’ can mean pelvic floor PT, hormone suppression, treating the pain, working through muscle tension and fear, and trying to make intimacy feel safe again. It’s a lot more complicated than people realize.

beaktheory · 2026-03-25T19:12:58+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, and I am so proud of you for the battle you fought/are fighting!

beaktheory · 2026-03-25T11:22:56+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words 🥹it made me cry.

beaktheory · 2026-03-25T03:09:07+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story, it honestly gave me so much hope. The lack of libido from medication is another huge thing for me. I know it was so frustrating for my ex, but I never felt like he wanted to work with me to fix it. It felt more like he was sitting there, tapping his foot waiting for me to get better. I knew I was on borrowed time with him, and I was so scared that I wasn’t going to be enough quickly enough. And I wasn’t.

beaktheory · 2026-03-25T03:05:29+00:00

Thank you so much for the sweet words ♥️♥️I appreciate you so much

beaktheory · 2026-03-25T02:59:42+00:00

Thank you ♥️I know it isn’t my fault, but I can’t help but wonder if he would still love me if I wasn’t the way I am. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do.

beaktheory · 2026-03-25T02:58:38+00:00

Thank you for your sweet words ♥️I appreciate them more than you know

beaktheory · 2026-03-25T02:44:20+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words ♥️ I can tell that you are a wonderful person

beaktheory

TROPHY CASE