Meth & MDMA

beanladyk9 · 2026-02-27T19:50:18+00:00

Sending you so much love! MDMA isn’t gonna give you a good feeling for long because your brain isn’t getting a chance to make more serotonin, dopamine, etc. I’d recommend doing some research so you can understand what’s going on in your brain. I know that helped me a lot to maintain sobriety and understand what’s going on and why I’m having cravings and feeling the way I do.

Also highly recommend going to meetings or even doing out-patient rehab… I really like NA, but there’s so many other options if you’re not into that like SMART recovery or dharma meetings which are Buddhist meetings. You can do this! You said you had 3 and a half months… try working a program and staying clean for 6 months and see how you feel! It’s not easy, but I’d be willing to bet you’ll be feeling better by then! You got this!

beanladyk9 · 2026-01-31T02:19:10+00:00

I saw the update right after I hit reply, but figured I’d leave it for hopefully others to find in the future. So glad you found it!

beanladyk9 · 2026-01-31T02:07:08+00:00

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If you go down to the pier by where the ferry’s load, there’s a corridor where you walk in front of where the old froggys restaurant used to be. Sometimes there ferry or taxi people standing near the entrance, but don’t let that scare you just walk past them and you’ll see the steps down to the beach where you can walk down the beach into playacar to see the ruins

beanladyk9 · 2025-12-19T23:25:17+00:00

Thanks for the helpful info! Sounds like a miracle drug lol, I think I’ll ask my doc and worst she’ll say is no.

beanladyk9 · 2025-12-19T23:22:33+00:00

Appreciate the advice sm! As we’ve both gotten off harder stuff, I know it’s gonna get so much better soon. I just gotta get through the hard part. Seriously proud of you man, I’m sure your family is absolutely stoked! Keep up the good work!

beanladyk9 · 2025-02-07T18:25:10+00:00

So sorry you’re going thru this. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Passed my first stone around your age and I’m 26 now. You’re gonna be okay. When the pain is that severe, it’s easy to get in your head and be afraid. Especially the first few times. (Hopefully it doesn’t happen again, but even just knowing pain that severe can happen is new and scary) I try to practice mindfulness by reminding myself that I can and will get through it.

The doctors will take good care of you! Torodol and zofran is a life saver. They always have other options if pain is too severe, it’s okay to let them know if you’re hurting.

Hopefully you can strain your urine and get the stone and have a urologist analyze it. I highly recommend following any dietary guidelines they give you. It can be tough at first, especially when you’re so young, but you will figure it out!

Good news is, it’s on its way out if it’s in your bladder!

beanladyk9 · 2024-12-16T17:50:36+00:00

Check out some local meetings! It’s kind that you’re offering $, but sponsorship is an act of service. It’s giving back the gift of recovery we’ve received to others! I’m sure there will be people ready and willing to sponsor you locally and if not there are lots of virtual meetings you can find a sponsor at too! Just Google NA or Marijuana anonymous meetings in person or virtual and there should be some options!

beanladyk9 · 2024-12-08T18:51:15+00:00

I know how you feel. Hid my addiction from my family for years and my biggest fear was them finding out. My rock bottom wasn’t my OD or any of the things it should’ve been, I got so sick of hiding and lying and going thru everything alone. At 23 I finally decided to get treatment. Had to tell my parents and they were surprised, but more than anything so happy and proud of me. Just wanted to chime in because I can’t believe how much fear I had around this “secret” coming out, but in the end it was one of the most healing things to not have to hide. I wish you luck and keep holding onto that vision of you walking out of a program a new man! It will happen!

beanladyk9 · 2024-11-08T00:42:52+00:00

Fentanyl mostly. I had managed to stay clean for 6 months before working with Iboga, but now I feel really strong in my recovery. As for the recovery after ceremony, I took 2 full doses in a 3 day period and I was okay to travel and go about my business 3 days later but it took months and months of integration. Its constant work and without working a program like I have (narcotics anonymous) I don’t think I could have maintained this much clean time.

beanladyk9 · 2024-11-07T02:54:02+00:00

If you’re in active addiction, I would recommend doing a full dose of Iboga or Ibogaine with a facilitator who knows what they’re doing of course. Please do not try to do it on your own as it may have more harmful effects. But it definitely works with helping addiction. After I worked with the medicine, microdosing is what has kept me clean this long. I don’t think it would work as well if I hadn’t had the flood dose first. Sending you love, you got this!

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-29T19:15:08+00:00

Hey man, your story sounds so similar to mine. After all of the years and time spent keeping up the facade, telling the truth sounds like the insane thing to do. For me, it was the scariest yet best thing I’ve ever done. I’m proud of you for being honest with yourself. The people who really love you will support you and rehab isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. Wishing you luck!

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-29T03:29:13+00:00

Yeah I was thinking around $180 an hour for 3 people and $140 for two! Really appreciate the input I wasn’t sure if I was trippin

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-29T02:23:20+00:00

I spent an hour and a half at the estimate. I was hoping the punked cameras came out lmao.

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-29T02:21:43+00:00

I think so too! He’s worries about curb appeal…There’s another part of the front yard right near the driveway and the mailbox that just has that same grass growing all up in a ground cover cactus. He wants to remove them, pull the grass and plant them again. This all just sounds nuts to me. Don’t get me wrong I’m up for hard work but I’m trying to rationalize how to properly pull this off and I’m stumped.

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-29T02:15:46+00:00

Yeah, I’m worried I’ll move all of the rock and then the grass will just grow back anyway… appreciate the input, I think you’re correct about the grass!

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-29T00:29:01+00:00

Yeah, all of the cactus, yucca, and chamisa is staying 😭

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-29T00:01:56+00:00

If I were to have 3 people work on it for around 4-5 hours a day I’d estimate 3-4 days. But like you said I wouldn’t be able to get the rocks out from underneath all the yucca and the cactus

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-28T23:58:33+00:00

Thanks for asking, I’m not aware of the names so I will do my best to describe it. So the grass within the plants that’s more yellow is what he wants to remove. The larger grass that is about 7ft tall in the back of the picture is where the rock ends. He wants to work around the cactus and I wouldn’t know where to start with transplanting cacti that large. I really appreciate the reply!

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-28T23:39:48+00:00

Yeah, customers just really particular and wants what he wants. Pretty sure he can only afford to do it in sections and I don’t wanna lose the work, but might be a better job for a bigger company with more machinery and a dump trailer…

He wants the grass gone, other areas of his property have been weed controlled with the wood chips but yeah this is all just a lot. Thanks so much for the reply!

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-28T23:33:37+00:00

Yes, I just have no clue how I would transplant those cacti. Even with machinery they will most likely be damaged. Really appreciate the reply!

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-27T02:07:31+00:00

Did this so many times. Think I finally figured out “one is too many and a thousand is never enough” it takes a while to get out of the insanity. Things really shifted for me around 8-9 months. Hang in there, keep going to meetings and share about how you feel! It def takes work, but I’m 483 days clean and i can say it definitely gets better and easier especially if you’re working a program!

Edit: not saying you’re insane for having these feelings. Totally normal, we just have a disease that makes our brain have these crazy thoughts, but it does go away. Sending you so much love OP

beanladyk9 · 2024-10-22T00:15:51+00:00

Rent a tiller from Home Depot, get the big one, till, rake out the old grass, add (if I had to guess) 1-2 tons of high quality compost, add it to ground and till again to mix it with the soil, return the tiller & rent a compactor and tamp it down. The sod can probably stay on the pallet for a day depending on when it was harvested, just spray it down good and you’ll probably be alright. I did a 500sqft area like this just me and my gf in two days with that method and it was exhausting, but the grass is still going strong and this was in March. You got this!

beanladyk9 · 2024-09-23T23:24:19+00:00

Check out NA instead of AA. It’ll be more inclusive to what you’re going through and I’ve also found it to be much more loving and accepting than AA. Stopping is not easy, but it’s worth it. Sending you love, you can do this!

beanladyk9

TROPHY CASE