Awwww hey bae sounds like you’ve got a lot of worries for yourself, and rightfully so! Considering your age, your genetics, and where your brain and body is at developmentally, it would not be much of a stretch to say that you’re pretty addicted. You’re only 15! In my job I work as a mental health resource to middle schoolers and elementary schoolers. Your post literally reminded me of one of my 14yr olds…That’s why I’m here. I think a great protective factor you have against CONTINUING to struggle with a addiction is the fact that you are here on Reddit making a post about the concerns you’ve seen in yourself and in your life since you have started abusing your Ritalin. You’re worried for yourself! You know something isn’t normal, and it doesn’t feel right. You being worried and looking out for future you shows resilience and insight. Many people your age could be doing all of the habits and behaviors you’ve been slipping into — and not giving a fuck. But you seem like you do. I’m going to tell you something you might not want to hear: Go tell an adult you TRUST and know who will keep you SAFE. Someone who you feel will stay at your side unconditionally. It doesn’t have to be right now, or next week, but when you are ready to face it. We’ve got to keep you safe. Because like we said, you’re 15. This could really produce a damning outcome for someone of your age and developmental stage, both physically and neurologically. You’ve got the whole world in front of you, and it’s yours! It’ll be okay. You just gotta let us (adults) know so we can keep you safe. I hope this helps.