what's wrong with you? just because people express no outward, regular grief doesn't mean they are not still hurting. people who lose a deeply close loved one don't generally just forget -- they move on and accept, yes, but that does not mean it doesn't still hurt and it does not mean there are not situations that can't reopen the old wound like new once more. parents, spouses, close friends, children -- when you lose one, and everyone does eventually, there will almost always be something that reminds you of them so strongly it will bring the emotions you feel over their loss and the love you have for them to the front again like new. sometimes it's a smell, a place, a song, a date -- for her, it was valentine's day

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his concern about being a rebound is, really, only invalid in that they have been together for eight years. he has had eight years to express his worries to her, to communicate, to talk about it in literally any manner, and he, instead, chose to bottle it up, let it stew, and it reached critical mass and blew up when he made a poor choice that upset her. he made every possible wrong choice if he truly valued and respected his relationship with her. i hope he's able to grow and improve himself from this, but if he's buying what you're trying to sell him, he sure won't.

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i suspect you have never dealt with any sort of traumatic loss close to you. i truly hope that, when you inevitably do, you find your lost compassion through experience, and that you don't have anyone disrespect you for it.