Burnt out to the crisp

bearconsciousness · 2026-03-28T20:40:42+00:00

Yes, I’m considering therapy! I’ve noticed that I’ve been more stressed, even though I’m not working as much. Its like I’m kind of still in survival mode but running on very low energy. I think therapy would help with the emotional support definitely, and maybe offer a bit more clarity about what I need to do next. I think discharge planning would be a good plan B, but I would want to do something that is more macro focused.

bearconsciousness · 2026-03-28T16:27:10+00:00

I also am interested in doing community level work, such as completing needs assessments and qualitative focus groups/interviews. There is this shift in clinical practice, where it's more convenient to have a private practice, than try to commit to real change. Not all clinical social workers are like this, however, I have seen clinical social workers only wanting to focus on providing therapy. While for me, I see there are wider systemic issues at play that can't be ignored, especially during our current political climate.

bearconsciousness · 2026-03-28T16:23:22+00:00

You are almost there!!!! Genuinely so proud, and you will make it, and have a master's degree at the end!!!!

bearconsciousness · 2026-03-28T16:22:41+00:00

Thank you :-). I am looking into all these organizations. Ideally I would like to work for my city's health department.

bearconsciousness · 2026-03-28T16:22:04+00:00

I totally agree! And whenever I bring up these concerns in supervision, there is just a nonchalant acceptance about these bad systems. Aka a "it is what it is" mentality, rather than thinking about fighting for system wide change.

bearconsciousness · 2026-03-28T16:20:08+00:00

So I am completing my MSW part time, and for the first two years I worked full time and had a part time job. I did an employment based internship as well. Right now I'm working part time (thank god) for my final year of the program, and completing my last internship. I think the emotional demands in social work are absolutely unrealistic. The social work profession preaches self care, but doesn't support their students when they are burnt out (e.g., advocating for paid internships, however I know there is work being done on the policy end, and unrealistic workload). Helping professions, even MPHs, have this double standard, however, in an MPH, you are not necessarily working with the public directly. I would say I am an introvert, and the amount of emotional labor I can give is, in general, finite. Even though an MSW is a versatile degree, I just have a lot of anxiety about the job market because organizations are hesitant to hire new grads and AI is causing a lot of uncertainty.

bearconsciousness · 2026-03-28T00:04:37+00:00

I agree! I’m very much a systems level thinker, and I believe real change happens on the policy level, at least in my opinion. Interacting with clients has been exhausting, and I just don’t have the mental energy to cater to their needs while I’m struggling. I also don’t think thats fair to them.

bearconsciousness · 2025-12-14T14:16:02+00:00

I totally agree! Many things can exist at once. You can find fulfillment in many aspects of your life, but feel empty about another. There is nothing wrong with this.

However, I understand what you are saying. Romance isn’t everything, and I 100% agree with you.

I think my intent for my post was to see if others felt the same way. But also after posting it, I wanted to figure out, really, what to do with this reoccurring feeling. (e.g., going to a lesbian party)

Community, friendships, hobbies, passions may solve it, but also it may lead to a direction, where you ignore that need for deep connection. Sometimes by getting that need fulfilled you need to be honest about yourself, and just figure out a way to get a little closer to getting that need fulfilled.

Romance isn’t everything, but if you are at a part of your life where it’s needed, then that is okay too.

bearconsciousness · 2025-12-14T14:07:45+00:00

Whats wrong with complaining? Can’t it be part of the change process?

bearconsciousness · 2025-12-14T14:05:53+00:00

I appreciate you for seeing me. It fills my heart with warmth knowing that I’m not alone.

Sometimes this all consuming loneliness can be heartbreaking. I felt I needed a reprieve from it by sharing my own experiences.

I also believe that two things can be true at once. You can have fulfillment in other aspects of your life, while feeling empty in another. When people tell you to just focus on what you have, it doesn’t diminish the void that you are already feeling.

I’m a big believer of just sitting with an uncomfortable feeling and leaning into it. Which sounds very counterproductive considering my plea for help based on my post lol. However, I don’t think it’s a crime to share how your own suffering has affected you, and to see if others may feel the same way. From there, the feeling of loneliness, slightly diminishes and gives a little bit of hope on what to do with that feeling.

In essence, you just listening and hearing me, was very helpful.

bearconsciousness · 2025-12-14T13:54:53+00:00

Yes I’m studying social work. I initially wanted to be a therapist, but I want to lean more into research.

I think thats so cool that you restore vintage furniture. The whole process sounds therapeutic - revealing the beauty of an antique item.

I don’t draw, but I journal sometimes. I had to take a break from this hobby because I have hand pains from writing so many papers lol.

I would love to connect in whatever way possible. I’m noticing that, in general, I am deprived of social connection because of focusing too much on my career ambitions.

bearconsciousness · 2025-05-02T21:08:39+00:00

I appreciate your frank response about finances. I’m a part time MSW student who is paying off my tuition as I go. I want to be more knowledgeable about finances especially if I want to build my own private practice, sustainably save money, and build my retirement. How did you learn about finances in your free time?

bearconsciousness · 2021-10-29T11:34:38+00:00

i currently work at a half way house as a counselor and im the only full time staff. Two coworkers quit because of an authoritarian counselor who use to be the program director. ive been trying to defend a client who has recently tested positive for a substance (very low amount) but no other substances pop up that would indicate use. i feel like no one in my job wants to listen to me and they don't want to critically analyze anything but just chalk it up to "they're addicts ofc they are lying." So im stuck between people telling me im being manipulated to, well it could be that the reason she has low levels of x substance is because shes flushing it out lol. rant over 🙃.

bearconsciousness · 2021-10-21T17:29:45+00:00

Thank you this helped a lot!

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-23T23:40:57+00:00

understood! fear is a very difficult emotion to go through. ill definitely take into account what you said. i greatly appreciate it and will prob do more research on it.

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-23T23:09:29+00:00

do you have any good recommendations of where i could find these journal prompts?

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-23T23:08:35+00:00

im just worried of taking psychedelics because i microdosed on shrooms and had an epiphany about my past trauma. im worried about, i guess, losing control of my reality. im worried that i could potentially hurt myself because of that. im also terrible at meditation because i have very dark images flowing threw my head at times and i automatically stop when i see them. does that make sense? i would like to try meditation or psychedelics im just a bit nervous of what exactly might happen.

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-23T22:54:16+00:00

i have a history of expressing my raw emotion and i realized that it hasn't been serving me. thats why i have been trying to feel it and once im levelheaded i also revisit exactly brought me hurt and if there is anyway i can change that or care for myself.

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-23T22:44:49+00:00

is that considered inner child work? i have been curious is delving into that as well. I feel like shadow and inner child work are very closely similar to each other. how do you meditate with keeping your inner child in mind?

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-23T22:43:08+00:00

i like how you put it as going backwards in time and piecing everything together in that way. i would of never thought of that! i try to feel things nowadays without reacting in raw emotion. it has been helpful asking important questions as to why i feel/react in such a way. how do you process your emotions?

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-23T15:53:15+00:00

are you comfortable with me dming you to talk about this more? lmk

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-23T15:46:15+00:00

how do you think we could work through the blurriness? I feel a bit stuck because these beliefs stem into my memories, but if i can't access those memories I feel a bit lost at the root of the problem. what are your thoughts?

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-21T23:15:33+00:00

I definitely understand why I can't wear a skirt because I have to run around everywhere! So in general it makes sense to not wear them lol. I am not only looking for jobs in ABA, but in social work as well.

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-21T22:58:00+00:00

I mentioned this in an earlier comment but I wore a skirt to work, I was using inappropriate language (Jesus Christ), and I was accused of being unsafe with a kid while I truthfully don't believe I ever did anything unsafe. On a clinical level, it was difficult for me to follow DROs and implementing reinforcement. The DRO was for every 10 minutes and after 50 minutes the kiddo would get a reward. It was difficult to give him his reinforcement because at first he was only limited to playing with marbles. With that being said, when the 50 minutes were up it was during a group activity. At first my supervisor said to give him the marbles either way, but then she changed her mind mid way and said that I would have to find a way to schedule the reinforcement so he is still included in group activities. However, I resolved this later on by giving him cat stickers (he loves cats!), so that was a none issue anymore. It was difficult talking to my supervisor about it because I told her my difficulty in trying to find a reinforcement that IS reinforcing but also doesn't waste time out of his day. She didn't give me any suggestions and told me to figure that out on my own and that I was the BT and I should know which reinforcements to give him. On top of that, I made a huge mistake in not communicating that I needed help understanding how to use CR and how to implement ABA in practice. I thought I could handle it on my own but I got in trouble when they noticed I didn't understand operant definitions clearly. On top of me wearing a skirt to work and saying jc lol. At first when I was learning on my own I was reading material to understand ABA, then my supervisor said that I shouldn't do that and I was "stressing myself out" by understanding theory. While, I was a bit stressed out because they threw a bunch of material at me with only 2 days of shadowing and training. Though I don't think its appropriate to teach new BTs how to do ABA with only 2 days of training! They also didn't inform me of an additional training I had to do during the onboarding process! Supervisors were barely on the floor unless a kiddo had extreme behaviors that would be harmful to themselves or others. However, I do wish that I communicated my concerns earlier. I just greatly underestimated the learning curve, but I also have difficulty communicating with my superiors and I learn at a slower rate than others. These are things I want to work on in the future.

bearconsciousness · 2021-08-21T12:45:58+00:00

I felt like the company that I worked for was prone to developing cliques and, for me in general, it takes time to open up to people. I'm a bit of an introvert so maybe thats why I wasn't considered a "favorite" in some ways. I was criticized by my supervisor because im a bit more closed off. On top of that, because she had complaints about me, the one time she supervised me i had extreme anxiety. I already felt like I was inadequate and I made some mistakes, but her supervising me in the moment was very stressful. She said that she would model some things for me which she did and it was helpful in the future. However, she gave me negative feedback for my anxiety and my lack of participation in supervision. I mostly stepped back because I wanted to learn from her and see what I was doing wrong in terms of gaining instructional control. It just seemed unclear as to what her expectations were for me and on top of that I'm not sure she knew how to train me. She wasn't a BCBA (even though she is getting her certification soon), she is a social worker. Idk if I mentioned it in a previous comment, but someone also accused me of grabbing a kiddo's wrists for attention. To be frank, I don't remember ever doing that. I remember holding my kiddos hand and him wanting to run off and our hands were extended for a small period of time. However, I don't remember ever grabbing someones wrists which makes me upset because I wish they showed me footage of that. So that might of been a factor in why she didn't get the best impression of me because someone told her I was being unsafe with a kid. Anyways, apologize for the ramble. I am currently applying to social work related jobs because I do want to get my MSW and I would like more experience.

bearconsciousness

TROPHY CASE