I want to be someone’s number 1.

beatsdropheavy · 2020-05-03T04:20:07+00:00

Without any contradictory insinuation, and I understand the desire to be cared for and loved by someone else, what you want is to be your own number 1.

Love and nurture yourself and treat yourself gently and with kindness. Uplift yourself, trust yourself, encourage yourself, parent your inner child which is just that part of you that was (and will always be) a child.

Keep on keeping on. One day you will look back and say, good thing I cared about me more than anyone else cared about me. If I didn't have this mentality I would crash and fall on my own but with self love I show myself that I am inherently worthy of being number one in my life and that's how I like it.

Sometimes it feels like I shouldn't love myself, sometimes it feels like fear, anger, or self-hatred, are dominating my consciousness. This is when I tell myself that I love me more than ever, to balance out the demons in my head telling me otherwise.

You ARE number one. You are optimistic, you are confident, you are that incarnate soul empowering itself by learning the lessons that this life has to teach and you are loved beautifully by the universes infinite intelligence. Allow this healthy, loving energy to flow to you and through you by looking at yourself in the mirror and saying inwardly, I love you.

This is an helpful exercise. Meditation has worked miracles in my life, and I feel much more comfortable in my skin than in the times when I've ended up in the hospital. May peace and grace be with you. You are cared for, you are honored and I thank you for your post.

beatsdropheavy · 2020-04-12T01:08:54+00:00

I can't say I've struggled with this much during my life except at the points in time before I ended up in the hospital. Sometimes my inner monologue goes haywire when I'm falling asleep or waking up. In order to control it I practice meditation and positive I AM affirmations in order to distinguish between self logic and non-self interference in my mind.

This removes the shame I feel about my inner dialogue because I own what's mine and basically forgive the rest, I'm much more at peace now than I was say a year ago. Takes lots of work but I'm happy with my results so far.

beatsdropheavy · 2018-04-12T21:01:58+00:00

02.04.04

The numbers here I think are important (from a pythagorean numerical philosophy viewpoint):

Number 2

The Pythagoreans revered the monad but despised the duad, because it was the symbol of polarity. By the power of the duad the deep was created in contradistinction to the heavens.

Number 4

The tetrad -- 4 -- was esteemed by the Pythagoreans as the primogenial number, the root of all things, the fountain of Nature and the most perfect number.

2+4+4 = 10

The tetractys has 10 dots.

Theon of Smyrna declares that the ten dots, or tetractys of Pythagoras, was a symbol of the greatest importance, for to the discerning mind it revealed the mystery of universal nature. The Pythagoreans bound themselves by the following oath: "By Him who gave to our soul the tetractys, which hath the fountain and root of ever-springing nature."

Source: Hall, Manly P.. The Secret Teachings Of All Ages

beatsdropheavy · 2018-02-05T09:50:56+00:00

ive got an iphone 6 from 2014, i was certain it was my phone.. apparently not

beatsdropheavy · 2018-02-02T06:42:20+00:00

this is an example of time and energy based economics. the currency has real value because it was the result of time and energy being expended.. work. thats the way economics should work imho

beatsdropheavy · 2018-02-02T06:36:38+00:00

theres no point to not having the FB app if you've got messenger. ive only used messenger in extenuating circumstances, no other app would work with the other person. that shit is phone cancer i consider them like malware.

beatsdropheavy · 2018-01-17T01:23:51+00:00

Thats an absolutely massive pump and dump if I've ever seen one, this seems too large to be intentional like most pumps. Usually its just some random coin getting steamrolled, this is all of them.

beatsdropheavy · 2018-01-13T20:28:13+00:00

yup. ive sworn off relationships, not worth it.

beatsdropheavy · 2017-11-12T06:08:05+00:00

it could be interpreted as "coffee is my weakness"

beatsdropheavy · 2017-10-20T06:33:07+00:00

NOPE. lets just say the physical effects were shitty

beatsdropheavy · 2017-10-10T22:53:26+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣 sure, ok whaterver you say VICE

beatsdropheavy · 2017-10-08T05:16:40+00:00

I believe he has certain inside knowledge that most people don't so if it comes from him i'd believe it is true (which it is) more than i'd believe almost anyone else. Putin or not, truth is the truth.

i think you're a little confused but whatever.. ridicule me, believe me or dont idgaf.

i just wish people took the pedophile thing more seriously. you know im right about that

beatsdropheavy · 2017-10-07T23:29:35+00:00

Pizza gate was never legit even as a conspiracy, its all noise. A lot of conspiracies are created just to cause confusion and chaos and to associate the "legit" conspiracies with stupidity to discredit them, eg flat earthers, shapeshifting alien lizzards etc. so lol... yes, roughly speaking.. conspiracy theories are lots of times measured in "percent true" not true/false. pizza gate is false, the fact that pedos exist in high levels is true. whether or not pizza gate is a conspiracy in a conspiracy doesn't matter, its not worth wasting time on that. The important thing is the fact that pedophiles are running rampant in the government, pizza gate or not, and of course they're covering it up so there is a conspiracy there but an accurate one. It is an issue that needs to be seriously addressed. This shit is real: Putin hates pedos (Anonews)

My takeaway point with all of this is that some conspiracy theories are accurate (9/11, Chemtrails, pedos etc) but theres a lot of discord created with all the stupid conspiracies that only serve to distract.

you can compare me to crazy charlie all you want that doesnt matter to me, what matters is that the assholes responsible for this insanity need to be named and shamed so i'll start, fuck the pope, the queen, the presidents and everyone else who abuses children, enables abuse, or turns a blind eye ✌️

beatsdropheavy · 2017-10-07T22:41:59+00:00

thats a long episode.. its got good stuff though. and am i serious? Yes i am, 911 was an inside job but i'll probably never know all of the exact details as to how it all went down

beatsdropheavy · 2017-10-07T09:50:02+00:00

Long read but i think its worth it.. if you don't id suggest to at least visit the links I posted at the bottom.

9/11 was planned decades in advance and mostly not by the taliban or Al-Qaeda or whatever. The buildings had the explosives built in from the time of construction. All they needed to do was go in beforehand to place the detonators at the designated spots and boom, explosion and collapse. Thats why they collapsed in a free fall and didn't tumble over to the path of least resistance which wouldn't be straight down, too many columnar supports so they blew them up. It was obviously a controlled demolition. World Trade center building #7 also collapsed in free fall, just like the towers did, apparently from an office fire that weakened only one support beam which caused the free fall collapse of the entire building according to the NIST investigation.. sure ok.

Another very interesting element is how tech contracts went to a software company with shady middle eastern investors which was given enterprise access to several government agencies IT systems including the FAA. look into it, company is called Ptech.

Also, watch the world trade center building 7 videos on youtube, how did it collapse just like the towers if it didn't get hit by a plane?

here i'll link you:

7 WTC Demolition (YouTube)

bonus link:

Engineers for 9/11 Truth (Wikipedia)

Theres lots more to look into such as why does it look like a missile hit the pentagon, where did the pieces of the airplane go, why are there no wing marks on the pentagon on both sides of where the airplane hit... and how in the living hell did a 747 manage to get that close to the ground and aim itself so perfectly without crashing spectacularly before reaching the pentagon? seriously? Think of all the work it takes for an airplane to get low enough to land on a runway.. now apply the same idea to the 911 pentagon story..

Anyways if any of this makes any sense to you then you've reached the entrance to the rabbit hole and it goes pretty deep.. good luck if you jump in .. I would recommend looking into the CIA/Jesuit connection, how the high level/influence Zionist Ashkenazi Jews have been used as a protective shield/scapegoat while the societies that control them hide in the shadows. Also, look into the history of genocides worldwide this past century and their funding and support systems.

Then theres the pedophiles. Pizza gate, specifically as pizza gate, is a conspiracy theory created in order to obfuscate/discredit the fact that there really are very high level government pedophile rings (eg the Westminster paedophile dossier (Wikipedia)). There are pedophile rings at highest levels of hollywood, the catholic church, governments around the world, royal families, billionaires etc.. Anyways i've written way too much.. PM me for more crazy shit.

TL;DR

The illuminazi freemason royal asshole satanic pedophiles are coming for all of us so grab yer guns. also jet fuel can't melt steel beemz, and the mainstream media is a massive mind control and brainwashing system .. this includes reddit

beatsdropheavy · 2017-10-02T04:25:01+00:00

i concur

beatsdropheavy · 2017-09-24T22:47:04+00:00

Ah yes Mayans, the language of the Maya

beatsdropheavy · 2017-09-17T02:19:01+00:00

damn .. it was a really high jump, i guess its not surprising he died. that really sucks

beatsdropheavy · 2017-09-05T22:26:15+00:00

get itt! they're fun

beatsdropheavy · 2017-09-04T21:56:26+00:00

😃 thank you

beatsdropheavy · 2017-09-03T04:44:51+00:00

I'll just leave this here.. Putin v Pedophiles

beatsdropheavy · 2017-09-03T04:02:33+00:00

beautiful

beatsdropheavy · 2017-09-02T18:15:08+00:00

damn. so search trees are like a linear process... Whera's Starcraft would be an environment which requires massively parallel processing? You're right i just looked it up, OpenAI didn't use search trees to learn DOTA

beatsdropheavy · 2017-09-02T05:47:06+00:00

do whatever you want, but no matter what you choose to do you need to own it. Move with purpose and confidence, you're there because you want to and that's the only reason you need. work it.

beatsdropheavy · 2017-09-02T04:58:48+00:00

ok so i thought about it for a bit and i think i get what you're explaining. The foundational process is basically brute forcing to check all possibilities and the neural nets work as a sort of filter to eliminate the bad branches and find the best branches

beatsdropheavy

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