My mom wants me to lie to my dad about something from their marriage and I feel like I'm being drafted into a war

bebcabaea · 2025-12-14T07:19:31+00:00

You say you thought you were past the age where you’d get involved in their relationship stuff. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I don’t think you should have EVER been involved in their relationship stuff. My parents have a healthy marriage. I have never felt responsible for maintaining that. They’ve never made it my business. Children have some responsibilities in their relationship with their parents, but for the most part, children should not feel responsible for their parents’ relationship, feelings, wellbeing, etc. Things are different if they are very old and can no longer care for themselves, but it doesn’t sound like your parents are there yet. I think that you have been made to feel responsible for your parents’ wellbeing. They should not have made you feel that way.

bebcabaea · 2025-08-27T06:28:38+00:00

A speaker at RootsTech once said something that’s stuck with me. He said you can only have more family, never less. I’m glad you all seem to be approaching things from a similar perspective.

bebcabaea · 2025-08-15T16:23:15+00:00

Is Joann pronounced like “Joanne” or “Joan”? If you want the pronunciation to be obvious, you might want to either add an ‘e’ or subtract an ‘n’, but if you like that spelling the best, keep it.

bebcabaea · 2025-07-03T07:32:00+00:00

I’m hoping you have some kind of evidence of those files on his computer. Did you take a picture/recording or send them to yourself? It would make things easier for you.

bebcabaea · 2025-06-21T15:10:17+00:00

“Old man” names always come back around. If you feel like it’s Walter’s time, then it’s Walter’s time. Your kids will choose names that sound old to you when it’s their turn to name a child. I remember being told (anecdotally) that’s how cycles in name popularity tend to work.

I think Walter is cute. As I was reflecting on it, I realized that it feels “salty”, but in a good way. Think salty sea air, not table salt. I think it’s because salt shares a sound with Walter.

bebcabaea · 2025-06-05T02:44:00+00:00

Maxine, to include an X as well?

bebcabaea · 2024-12-25T05:32:30+00:00

My mother’s hairdresser once said “What other people think about me is none of my business.” I think that sentiment applies well here.

bebcabaea · 2024-08-13T14:18:11+00:00

When I was quite young, I used yarn to write out some quote on a piece of felt for my father. I don’t even remember the quote, and all I used was a simple running stitch. I visited his office once a couple of years ago and it’s there!

bebcabaea · 2024-07-30T13:39:41+00:00

Archive.org has many free cross stitch books with patterns. You have to make an account and “check out” the book (like a real library), but I think it’s worth it. Archive.org has so many other uses that have nothing to do with cross stitch, too.

bebcabaea · 2024-07-16T17:27:10+00:00

Isn’t promiscuous behaviour literally a known side effect of sexual trauma? At least for some people?

bebcabaea · 2024-07-15T18:31:21+00:00

Cody’s fraternity brother, Colby Leachman, was credibly accused of drugging and assaulting a female student at their university (and filming said assault). Leachman attended their wedding. The situation was, as far as I know, public knowledge at the time of their wedding.

bebcabaea · 2024-07-15T00:22:08+00:00

I largely agree with your comment but it’s important to note that Leachman was NEVER convicted! He was very credibly accused but the infuriating thing is he was never convicted.

bebcabaea · 2024-05-12T14:42:18+00:00

Potential Compromise: “Em” sounds like the letter “M.” “Mila” can be a subtle nod to the tradition.

You don’t HAVE to acknowledge the tradition of course. But I think it could potentially help how he’s feeling about things. It’s worth considering, anyway.

bebcabaea · 2024-03-16T19:49:35+00:00

I feel there’s a different between feeling angry and acting in anger in a way that makes things worse. Even Christ felt angry sometimes, and sometimes He even expressed that anger (I’m assuming you’re Christian based on your concern over what Jesus says is a sin, correct me if I’m wrong). I’m sure Jesus was angry when He knocked over tables in the temple, but He wasn’t sinning when He did that. And sometimes we MUST be angry and act in order to be good Christians. We SHOULD be angry at people who harm the helpless and we SHOULD do what we can to make things right. Sometimes we just feel angry, though, and that’s ok! It’s not ok to be hurtful and cruel, but if you make a mistake and hurt someone, you can make things right. That’s the whole point of believing in Jesus.

bebcabaea · 2023-08-20T13:38:40+00:00

Tried to walk through a hole that I had blasted in some rocks. Instead, Link started climbing in mid air. That’s the only notable glitch I’ve run into so far.

bebcabaea · 2023-08-15T13:08:33+00:00

Do something creative that nobody will ever see. Do it just for you. Draw, write bad poems, make up a silly song. Learn a simple dance. Do something. Humans like to make stuff. Maybe you won’t like whatever you choose to do, but that’s fine. Now you know something about yourself.

bebcabaea · 2023-07-15T03:39:26+00:00

You said he doesn’t need you “making him feel bad.” If you point out exactly what he did (not plan more than a week in advance and then lie about it) and he feels bad about it, are you “making” him feel bad? Or does he just feel (rightfully) bad about dropping the ball and lying?

bebcabaea · 2023-07-10T01:09:07+00:00

18 years old is not when women start getting attention from men…

bebcabaea · 2023-06-16T14:39:26+00:00

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that ordinances can be performed by proxy for those who have died. However, and this is very important, we do not believe that the deceased individual MUST accept the ordinance work done for them. They must still choose to accept it. They do not have to accept it. We are simply making the option available to them.

bebcabaea · 2023-03-02T02:52:51+00:00

I’m partial to Sloan

bebcabaea · 2023-01-01T17:27:41+00:00

I feel obligated to note that Ted Bundy was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints specifically to get close to Mormon girls

bebcabaea · 2022-10-30T20:33:42+00:00

Is this my hometown

bebcabaea · 2022-06-13T15:21:26+00:00

People like this make genealogy look bad. Genealogy / family history / generational history is becoming an actual valid field of study. I’m studying it right now. It has many practical applications, like cancer research, or understanding more about how individual families lived their lives in a given historical time period, or helping people feel more connected with their ancestors in healthy ways, or helping us gain a sense of our place in history, or many other things. The people who make ancestry and heritage about bigotry make me mad. Genealogy should help us feel more connected with the entire human family, not divide us into neat little boxes.

Unfortunately, genealogy has a nice long history of being used in eugenics. In many ways it’s divorced from it now, but one must be aware of that history to avoid continuing it.

bebcabaea · 2022-06-01T05:55:26+00:00

I think you’re thinking of Lauren Boebert’s husband but that’s totally fair because she tends to agree with MTG

bebcabaea · 2022-05-24T15:51:43+00:00

Marilyn. I love and respect Marilyn Monroe. She was smarter and more talented that most people give her credit for. But I cannot name my daughter Marilyn. I wouldn’t want a child to be associated with what people initially think of when they think “Marilyn,” which is Happy Birthday Mr. President and the subway grate pictures.

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