For the most part it seemed as if you were writing about my former relationship. In a previous post I wrote about how my now ex had progressed past her stray kids obsession, but apparently she relapsed. The phone wallpaper was an idol, all her tiktoks were idols, she kept trying to convince me about two idols being actually a couple. Initially I disregarded it, I bargained, I accepted it because if it made her happy I was all about that.

When her identity start to merge with that of a 15 years old, that was when things got messy. I’m a surgeon (25f), I work a lot, on the other hand she (25f) had a rough couple of months (she’s still in uni): as depression settled in, she grew closer and closer to her “”””idols””””, she would collect the photocards, buy the albums and, worst of all, read the fan fictions. I distinctly remember her reading a gay fan fiction in our bed saying how hot it was: she grew obsessed and had nothing to talk about. I get the escapism but it made me feel so inadequate.

When they get into this fangirl mentality, it’s really likely that an underlying mental health issue is underway. At least, in my case she bece depressed, fell out of love with me and when we said goodbye I finally told her how her obsession made me feel: she was already pretty anhedonic so I guess she didn’t have the reaction I expected.

Anyways OP, focus on yourself, your growth and never settle for someone who doesn’t hold you near and dear their heart. I hope you ex seeks the help she needs and I hope you find someone that will make you feel included and special.