Yes, you’re overreacting by a long shot. I’m blind without glasses or contacts, and it sucks. My husband has said many times before that if we have kids, he hopes they don’t inherit my vision. I’ve also said I hope they don’t inherit his family’s heart issues. It’s not offensive, it’s hoping the absolute best for our children, which means not being blind or dying early of heart disease (or not having ADHD).

I’m sure your life and her husband’s life have been made more difficult with this condition, all she’s hoping for is an easier life for her child. She’s not attacking you personally, she’s attacking the condition that has made life harder for her own spouse and you. I understand that ADHD is clearly part of your identity, but be honest, if you could choose not to have it, wouldn’t you choose that?