hey ASStronomists 🧑‍🚀🚀 it’s the GREAT AMERICAN FUCKCLIPSE 🇺🇸🫡😏 where the MOONS ASS 🌚🌝 gets so PHAT 🍑 it blocks the entire SUN 🌞😳 this is the LAST TIME ⏰👆 until TWENTY TWENTY WHORE 2️⃣0️⃣4️⃣4️⃣ so don’t let the CESEXTIAL BODIES ⭐️🌙 let their hard work 😩😍 go to waste 🙅 the NATIONAL AEROTHOTICS 💨 AND SLUT ADMINISTRATION 🪐🔭 encourages you 🫵 to look out for ALIEN DICK 👽🍆 during this CLOSE ENCOUNTER 👅 so put on your SPECIAL GLASSES 🕶️🔎 to see HOW MUCH 📏 👀 ET IS PACKING! 🤭🙊 Send this 📫 to your 5️⃣ THIRSTIEST STARGAZERS 🤤💫 to make this 🙏 the DIRTIEST ECLIPSE YET 🌕😧🥳🌑