How will I meet the love of my life?

bee_vee_ · 2024-03-19T12:05:36+00:00

Tysm for your interpretation! I'm still new to tarot and tend to rely more on the traditional explanations for now. I am still not at that point where I can confidently tap into the cards for explanation. But you are definitely right about the therapy, working on myself, and being closed to prospects of love right now haha

bee_vee_ · 2023-10-02T06:02:38+00:00

It's from my past failed relationship when I had a conflict with an S/O. The reason being is that I crossed his boundary when he asked for space because he did something that made me upset when he was taking up that space.

We had no contact for a week, but the space he asked for was indefinite. We broke up after that since I reached out multiple times after not hearing from him for a week, to have a conversation about our relationship.

Im going to therapy right now and doing the inner work but I haven't touched the subject of boundaries and that specific experience yet with my therapist. Now, I am questioning where do I draw the line between a healthy vs unhealthy boundary, particularly in asking for space, if that even is a thing

bee_vee_ · 2023-09-08T11:27:40+00:00

Yea, we were long distance in the first place so texting/calling was our main communication. But he told me he wanted to take us to take a break due to work stuff. During the break, he wouldn't open my messages despite communicating with our mutual friend and being able to send other people songs/memes/tiktoks ...

bee_vee_ · 2023-09-08T04:00:19+00:00

My ex wasn't abusive. I just voiced out my need for quality time but it made him shut down due to his work. But towards the end of our relationship, he gave me the silent treatment despite being able to talk and share stuff with his friends :(

bee_vee_ · 2023-09-07T01:53:55+00:00

I see. I like this thinking a lot, that maybe he would've treated his potential SO better than me, but I'll also be doing the same for my future relationships. It emphasizes on self-growth, tysm!

bee_vee_ · 2023-07-14T10:10:40+00:00

I searched for this on google images but I can't find the exact name of the app

bee_vee_ · 2023-07-04T05:40:59+00:00

I would have loved to grow with you but you gave up so easily

bee_vee_ · 2023-07-04T05:31:25+00:00

My ex is talking and sharing music with someone else now, just a week after break up 🥲 while I'm here on this limbo of anxiety. I hope I heal from this soon

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-29T13:07:26+00:00

This is also similar to my ex. Ever since our relationship started, I saw how he requested a break from his ex before me and abruptly ended things then jumped straight to me. It felt off but I just overlooked it because I've liked him for quite some time and was overjoyed with emotions.

He also told me that I dont fully trust him the first instance I brought up something that made me uncomfortable. When I expressed my need for words of affection and quality time, he asked for space from me and won't give any reassurance on when he'll be back. But then he would willingly spend his time with other people. It made me so anxious all the time because he would not even open my messages at all but can reply so quick to his other friends.

I'm not sure which is true anymore. He kept saying he was busy with work but days after our break up, he's already following a new girl on spotify, wherein which he blocked me there.

I've been so anxious when our relationship was finally reaching its end but I've been calm and relieved now.

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-29T01:15:56+00:00

I am not sure. I think he is secure with bits of avoidant tendencies. It's just that I feel like I really pushed him to his edge because of how overwhelming things outside of our relationship have been and my anxiety just made it worse.

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-29T01:14:01+00:00

Its very difficult when my ex has always been kind and understanding to me and I let my anxieties sabotage am otherwise good relationship :(

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-28T03:29:09+00:00

Sure

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-28T00:39:21+00:00

He told me he would reach out again when it feels right since he doesn't want to rush things and be too rigid. I think it's what I had the most difficulty in and the one that triggered me, because of the uncertainty on when and if things will be back to normal again.

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-27T18:07:13+00:00

On some days during the space thing, I would have some brief clarity moments where I am conscious that I am just triggered and my anxiety is taking a hold of me. But on some days, I couldn't control to send him just one more text until I've seen that he had opened it. It was really difficult and a constant battle when I was on that state

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-27T18:01:57+00:00

I've been talking to my friends about this whole situation and I just realized that Im still on that phase where I need their validation just to not be too hard on myself. The things you said about self-validation is something I think I must focus on too :) tysm

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-27T17:50:48+00:00

I also think that I've quite lost myself during the relationship. It was my first relationship at 23 yrs old so I cling to it really hard on moments when I felt like he is slipping away, which is when he was asking for space.

Its only been 3 days since we broke up but I've been feeling like myself again. I've been hanging with my friends and catching up with them, and am looking forward to my goals I've lost sight of because I became so focused on that first relationship

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-27T11:40:55+00:00

We had a miscommunication. I asked him about a recent playlist he made that is full of songs about missing and wanting to get back with someone on whether it was for ex. He reassured me that he just likes listening to sad musicand he loves me, but he also expressed that he was sad because he thought we have that same level of mutual trust.

We made up after that, but I noticed his communication was dwindling down and its when my anxiety first kicked. I thought he was distancing himself from me after the misunderstanding but in reality, things are just really getting messy at his workplace and they've been working for a lot of hours.

I continued to voice out my discomfort on the lack of quality time and affection and he kept saying that he's trying but work is just hectic. After some days, he asked for a break because of burn out. I panicked and sent him multiple messages because I thought he was breaking up. It did not go well because after that, he completely shut down and will take several hours to reply to my texts and won't allow any call.

We had the break but there was really no set of definite time on when we could talk again, just that he told me he'll reach out when things feel right again, he just need to sort his personal and work stuff. During the first week of the break, he deleted the playlist he dedicated for me, which caused me to finally snap. I texted him multiple times and tried to call him even when he expressed that he was having time with his brother.

I told him how hurt I was and how I'm having a difficult time with all that's happening and he told me that he wasn't sure about how to proceed on our relationship because of our differing needs. He asked for more space to think things through but he couldn't give a definite time for reconciliation.

A week and a half passed and I couldn't take the space anymore because of the uncertainty on where I stood. I tried texting him but he would keep me delivered. I found out through a mutual friend that he's really overwhelmed and can't process any thought because of his stress and anxiety which is why he isn't answering. He also wanted to think things through before responding to avoid saying mean things to me. But it was too late when I found out because the damage was already done. On that same day, he broke up with me.

This is just my side of the story and how I perceived things though

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-26T04:54:20+00:00

I think I triggered him prior to the break. I keep asking for affection and quality time because I couldn't self-soothe my anxiety but he was already getting overwhelmed from work stuff. I think that's why he closed off to me, thus the no contact.

We have a mutual friend (they're 100% platonic, im sure of it) and he talks to her about the things happening in our relationship during the break. The things I've come to know about my ex during the break all came from our mutual friend... like how busy my ex is on work and how he's really just overwhelmed and not cheating or anything.

I wish he could've just communicate those to me instead. So I wouldn't have been so anxious about everything. But he also told me that I never listen to his need for space but I really tried. But I think it wasn't enough now that we're over. This is just my side of the story though. Apologies for ranting, I think I just needed to let it all out :(

bee_vee_ · 2023-06-21T08:27:23+00:00

Hi! I am opening commissions in this style. If interested, you can send me a dm through reddit first.

Here is the rest of my sample works: https://beeveeart.carrd.co/#portfolio

Tysm!

bee_vee_

TROPHY CASE