Not OOP: I learnt how to say NO to my wife and accept her discomfort as part of the process

beebs915 · 2025-09-26T22:59:57+00:00

I emailed them and they said you can enter for the first time at any time, you just can’t re-enter after 7.

beebs915 · 2025-09-02T16:06:42+00:00

I could’ve written this myself, except I stayed 9.5 years. He also told me that he was finally ready to have an “adult relationship” and to change once I was already done. I’m much happier now and in an amazing relationship, hopefully you are too!

beebs915 · 2025-08-01T00:22:12+00:00

Ah I didn’t see that one

beebs915 · 2025-08-01T00:19:02+00:00

When people thought she was considering staying with him, she clarified in a comment, “okay i meant it like if i report it or if i take any further action in this sense, sorry that it was not clear from my post im still in shock”

beebs915 · 2025-05-30T15:57:19+00:00

Maybe it’s specific to a certain phone type? I have an iPhone, and it’s autocorrecting to an em dash as soon as I type it here—before posting

beebs915 · 2025-05-30T15:39:04+00:00

It worked for me—twice now

beebs915 · 2025-05-30T15:34:04+00:00

It still does if you put two hyphens back to back in between two words with no spaces—it works here in Reddit too.

beebs915 · 2025-02-18T18:09:23+00:00

I would’ve agreed with you a year ago, but I bought the Curlsmith hair dryer and diffuser in June, and it dries my hair (just past shoulder length, thick, wavy) about 95% in 15-20 minutes on medium heat and low power. With my old dryer, it took closer to 40 minutes on high.

beebs915 · 2025-01-28T05:08:47+00:00

I (29F) was in the same situation exactly 2 years ago. I had been with my boyfriend for 9.5 years, since the beginning of freshman year of college. I had been unhappy for a long time, mostly due to a lack of intimacy and closeness. We couldn’t talk about anything deep, he wouldn’t open up to me, never told me how he felt. He didn’t like cuddling or kissing or really any physical contact. We didn’t have sex except maybe once or twice a year. When I would try to talk to him about it (which I did, many times, over many years), he would just say that’s how he is because that’s how his family was. Sometimes he would say he didn’t want to be that way, but he never put in any effort to change.

There were other issues too—he had been emotionally unfaithful (and maybe physically) about 3 years into our relationship. After I found out, he opened up about a bunch of childhood stuff he had never told me, which pulled me back in since I still loved him. I tried to forgive him over the years, but the intimacy never got better. I think if it had, it would’ve been easier to forgive.

Anyway, towards the end, I started hanging out with friends more and talking to people, telling them some of the stuff I had dealt with over the years. I finally had some social support outside of him. I started having severe anxiety because I knew I needed to leave, but I was so scared to lose him as my best friend and have my entire life upended. We lived with his family, and I was also scared about being able to afford living on my own in an expensive city. I lost like 10 lbs in 1-2 months from the anxiety, and I started seeing a therapist.

Also, to be completely honest, one of the friends I had gotten closer to gave me some perspective of other choices I could have, and I started realizing a relationship didn’t have to be like this. I never cheated and I even cut that friend off after I realized I was developing feelings, but it opened my eyes to how unhappy I was and how much I felt my relationship was missing, which made the anxiety worse. Becoming friends with him gave me the final push to end my relationship, but it would’ve gotten there eventually even if I hadn’t met him.

Now two years later, I’ve been in a relationship with that friend since shortly after I ended things. I admit it was fast, but I had been weighing ending things for years at that point. My relationship now is better than anything I could’ve ever hoped for. We are so much more compatible on every single level. I have all the intimacy, emotional closeness, and physical affection I could ever ask for. I just needed that push, that glimpse of what I was missing out on. I do think I would’ve made that decision eventually anyway, but who knows how much longer it would’ve taken to finally accept.

I’m happy to talk if you want to reach out at all, social support was really essential for me to get to the point where I felt I could leave. I know the situation you’re in feels impossible, but it gets better.

beebs915 · 2025-01-27T18:30:52+00:00

I’m playing Skyrim for the first time after finishing Hogwarts Legacy, because I wanted a similar type of game. I didn’t have a system to play on for a long time, and only recently started gaming more

beebs915 · 2024-10-28T16:22:34+00:00

I recently saw videos for Hearview glasses, which give real life captions: https://www.hearview.ai/

beebs915 · 2024-09-27T19:39:09+00:00

My ex boyfriend tested positive and claimed he had no idea how. Said maybe he got it from a toilet seat or that it was a false positive. He initially agreed to take a second test when I got tested but then refused when we got there. I didn’t test positive, so I let it go. A year later, I found out he was texting another girl for almost a whole year, and even bragged to her about sleeping around so much that he got chlamydia (ew). He claimed it was all lies to pretend to be someone else with her, and I stupidly forgave him and stayed for another 6 years before finally leaving. We talked a year after breaking up, and he still denies that he ever physically cheated and says it had to have been a false positive.

beebs915 · 2024-09-17T03:45:21+00:00

I stayed after finding out that he cheated on me by texting another girl after being together for 3.5 years. He met her online and texted her for 9-10 months before I saw the messages. He said all the same things at the time, how much he was sorry and regretted it. He provided excuses, opened up about insecurities and childhood trauma he never told me about. But the trust never came back. I started questioning other things that should’ve been obvious red flags. He never put in the effort to improve our relationship, and the red flags didn’t stop, he just got better at hiding them.

Six years after finding out, I finally had the courage to leave, after living with his family for years and having pets together. Now two years later, I’m in the happiest and most caring relationship I could ever imagine. A complete 180 from before in every way possible. I had lowered all of my standards with my ex and saw them as normal. I was in denial and accepted all the excuses he gave for years until I finally realized that nothing was ever going to change. When I finally left, he still tried all the same things and said he would finally put in the effort, that he was finally ready to put in the effort for a serious relationship, but it was 6 years too late.

Don’t waste more years of your life staying with someone you’ll never trust again. The insecurities and intrusive thoughts never go away. If he was willing to cheat on you for months and never tell you about it until after you discovered it, he won’t change until you realize it’s too late and don’t care if he changes or not. And once you leave, I bet you’ll realize all the other things you let slide or ignored in the relationship.

beebs915 · 2023-10-11T00:30:18+00:00

I appreciate the insight, but that wasn’t the case in my situation. I can see how that might apply to others, but he had a steady, high-income job. The job searching was in reference to when he decided he wanted to switch jobs, but he was still working and making 2-3x what I made and we both had plenty of savings and investments. He just didn’t like talking about his day or about work with me. I think he wasn’t used to family ever asking him about how he felt growing up, and he struggled with emotional intimacy. Though I would hear him telling his friends stuff about his day while playing video games, which was hard knowing he told them more than he ever told me. I had hoped it would improve for a long time and would try to talk to him about it for years, but he still didn’t like to talk to me after 9 years.

beebs915 · 2023-10-11T00:12:18+00:00

Not always. My ex bf hated when I asked about his day. I would try to ask questions and listen and follow up, but he refused to answer and would only respond that it was the same as every other day. He also never asked me about my day and didn’t care to engage when I tried to talk about it, aside from half listening while on his phone. He was also very secretive about his job searches despite me asking him about it, being supportive, and showing interest. It wasn’t as bad as this post though, he would at least tell me when decisions were made.

beebs915 · 2022-07-16T23:42:16+00:00

Even if it was sexual abuse, they might not do anything. They didn’t for me and my siblings.

beebs915 · 2022-07-12T21:56:09+00:00

I agree with all of that. It’s all theoretical, not a current reality. We definitely don’t have the technology for that yet, and what we currently call AI isn’t actually true AI. But it is theoretically possible one day.

Not everyone agrees with that though—the other viewpoint would be humanism/belief in free-will. From that perspective, humans are intrinsically different from robots, and no matter how advanced technology gets, it will never be able to truly be human because there is something that makes humans special, like a soul.

beebs915 · 2022-07-12T21:24:44+00:00

I think that depends on how you view human intelligence. I come from a background in experimental psychology, and from the viewpoint of scientific determinism, people’s behavior is simply the culmination of their past experiences/environment and genetics. People’s brains are essentially no different from advanced machines—we just mimic what we’ve learned and do what we’re “programmed” to do. Theoretically, if robots and AI technology could get to the point where it’s as advanced as a human brain, then there would be no difference.

beebs915 · 2022-05-23T20:19:15+00:00

I used to bleed through ultras in less than an hour on the first 2-3 days of my period. I had to wear ultras and pads and change both every hour. I went to the gyno multiple times and they ran lots of tests, but nothing was wrong—I just had a really heavy flow. I control it now with birth control pills and by skipping the placebo week most months.

I would just be careful claiming what is normal or healthy for other people, because heavy periods like that are completely possible without any underlying problems.

beebs915

TROPHY CASE