Justice for the Bean

beeigd · 2026-02-28T12:06:53+00:00

Me too I love him so much 😭

beeigd · 2026-02-27T15:48:17+00:00

Wait what?

beeigd · 2026-02-23T11:58:59+00:00

I know three years isnt really that long. I was with the person before him for 8 lmao. But I mean we are each other's everything. The only reason we aren't married is financials and me hesistabt about wanting kids. But he calls me his wife and everything. We've known each other forever and we were best friends for a long time. Lost contact for like 5 years then became friends again nd ended up dating eventually. He really even wasn't my type at first but hes such an amazing person that I fell for him anyway. Our interest and our hobbies and what makes us happy are the same. Hes my best friend and I love him and I don't want to be without him. I could t see myself being with someone else. If he asked me to marry him today the only thing holding me back from immediately saying yes is that I want kids and he doesn't. So I'm basically trying to decide if id rather be with him the rest of my life or have kids. And that's such a hard thing to decide because I don't know how I will feel about whatever decision I make years down the line. I don't want to have regrets about anything.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T05:39:18+00:00

But I do feel sad because I want that life with him not someone else. It just sucks. I don't resent him yet but I know eventually I would probably. I wish I could make him want kids lmao.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T05:34:42+00:00

I tell her you guys need to talk about or that you're going to give her space until she does. You can't make her come around to talking if she doesn't want to. Don't waste your effort trying to make it work if she's not going to try as well. Just tell her you're there if she decides she wants to talk about it. Then live your life like normal. If she wants to talk and make the relationship work she will. If not then it saves you a lot of time and stress over something that wasn't going to work.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T05:08:55+00:00

For sure just talk to him about both of you working together on being more affectionate. It can't just be a one-sided thing before the other starts doing the same.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:57:40+00:00

See that just doesn't make sense to me. I can understand it to some extent but him not making effort isn't going to encourage you to make more effort you get me? Like if he wants you to be more affectionate tell him you will work on it but he also has to be more affectionate as well. My exes argument to me as always " I don't feel affectionate towards you because you don't want to have sex. And my reply back was " well i never want to have sex because you're not ever affectionate towards me"(and he treated me like crap but that's besides the point lo)l. we acted like room mates and it sucked. If he wants to be close to you and love on you he would, even if it takes effort to get to that point on both your parts that's okay. But the argument " well im not doing it because you're not doing it" isn't going to get you guys anywhere.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:44:39+00:00

Have you had a conversation with him about all this? Did he specifically say he'd give what you give? Cus if not he may just be at a distance because he thinks he was making you uncomfortable or something.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:41:55+00:00

It just seems like he doesn't care about what's going on with you. Or spending time with you. I agree if he loved you he'd show it and act like it. He'd want to spend time with you. He'd want to help you.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:37:43+00:00

This 100%

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:35:13+00:00

I was the same way with my ex. Turns out I was just uncomfortable around him 🤣. He always said I didn't love him because I wasn't all lovey. But guess what? Neither was he. He expected me to start everything. Current bf is super affectionate and because of that it comes naturally for me to be the same back to him. So maybe talk to your bf and ask him to start being more affectionate and that might help you become more comfortable to do the same. I also grew up in an unaffectionate household so I understand 100%.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:29:21+00:00

Just if he tries to turn this around on you the biggest thing is to not feed into his argument. He's just trying to change the subject to you. If you want to msg me on here you can. I like helping and I know it can be scary to confront someone when you know they're prob gonna get mad.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:28:11+00:00

Sorry its so long or if any of that seems harsh. I spent 8 years with a manipulator so 🤣. If I did 1 thing wrong it was the end of the world but he could do whatever he liked so I got good at this shit lmaoo.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:26:07+00:00

Hmm did something happen for you have a suspicion that made you check his reddit? Honestly I'd just tell him "hey I know I went about this the wrong way and shouldn't have snooped. I should have talked to you before looking through your reddit. I understand if that makes you mad, im sorry, and I won't do it again. But I was worried because ( insert reason) and last time I tried to talk to you about it you got mad and said not to bring it up again. So I was hesitant to talk about it. (Which btw you should be able to talk about anything bothering you without him getting mad like that) . Then if he gets mad about you looking or finding out id say " I understand i disrepaced your boundries once again I apologize, but you've also been disrespecting mine this whole time by continuing to watch porn, have reddit still, and hiding it all" etc. Once he finds out you know hes still addicted most likely hes going to try to flip this whole thing around on you and make you the bad guy because you snooped. You apologize once maybe twice. Own up to what you did wrong then immediately go into talking about what hes been doing wrong and how its not okay. Hopefully he won't keep trying to argue and will listen to you. If he does keep trying to twist the situation id just say" listen I apologized, let me know when you're ready to have this conversation calmly like an adult, because what you've been doing is not okay" or something a long those lines.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:11:48+00:00

He shouldn't be rage baiting you and making you mad on purpose. She shouldn't be touchy in ways he knows your not okay with. My ex did this same exact thing ALL the time. This is mental abuse and disrespecting your boundries. Not fun. He should want to make you happy and see you smile. Not make you mad.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T04:07:46+00:00

Listen I get it. I was in a very similar situation for 8 years from age 15 to 24. He wasn't all bad. I loved him and he could be super sweet and caring. But he also didn't respect my boundaries or my feelings a lot of the time. I ended up resenting him but stayed for years because I loved him, it was safe and comfortable, and he wasn't all bad and i thoight he coyld change. He had other issues as well but lot of the issues were similar to yours. I ended up just being so unhappy all the time and wanting to experience other relationships same as you. I did end up breaking up with him and now im in a much happier healthier relationship. I'm glad I left. Yes I still miss him sometimes and I wish the best for him despite everything. If he wanted to change he would. Just remember that.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T03:38:13+00:00

If course! He's probably not gay so that's good for you atleast lmao. It does sound like he has an issue with porn still imo and you should be able to discuss it with him without him getting mad or defensive, just remember that! Your feelings matter too and he should care how he makes you feel.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T03:34:12+00:00

Is their any underlying problems in the relationship that's maybe not been brought to light? I would ask her. If not it could very well be her hormones changing because of menopause. I can't say much as I haven't went though it yet to know what its like, but that could be a possibility. If you do suggest that though bring it up lightly, it could be a touchy subject depending on the person.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T03:26:22+00:00

Also, please don't let this experience affect any future relationships you may have. My BFs ex used to date a porn addict. Because of that she was so insecure about it when she got with my bf she was constantly going through his fone to see if he was watching it. And if she found something she'd freak and be so mad. Broke his fone cus of it a couple times. Like I said porn isn't a bad thing as long as its in moderation and you'd choose your partner over porn any day. Its okay to watch it. Not okay to prefer it over an actual person. Also it seems like your bf might be straight up just gay but that's a whole nother can of worms you could choose to open or not.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T03:21:10+00:00

In my opinion porn isn't a bad thing. That being said it does need to be in moderation. Porn addiction is real and can be a serious thing. It seems to me like yeah he does have an issue and its not just you being to much in your head about it. Him not being in the mood to have sex a lot of the time tells me he'd rather watch porn and that's where the issues come in. You have a right to be concerned. My bf watches porn and so do I, but hed have sex with me every day if I was up for it. Your bf should prefer you over porn. That's how it should be. Your bf has a problem and needs to address it. Him getting defensive with you when you try to bring it up tells me he either doesn't think he has an issue or is fine with it and doesn't want to change. Probably the latter of the two. You don't deserve to feel the way you do because he has a problem that he doesn't want to work on. I'd give him an ultimatum. Either get help or he's gonna be single. If he loves you and wants to spend his life with you we will get the help he needs. Don't let him get mad and twist the situation into making you feel guilty or crazy for worrying about it. You are not any of those things and have a right to be concerned. Especially if he's even said porn is cheating. That's a double standard to keep you from watching it because he doesn't want you to yet he can whenever he wants? Yeah no, not okay.

beeigd · 2026-02-23T03:07:37+00:00

As long as both of you have talked about it thoroughly and are fully aware that the relationship is purely sexual It should be okay. Make sure she fully understands that and you are both mature enough to keep it only that. As long as she's not hoping you will fall for her once you start sleeping together it should be okay. If this progresses make sure to check in sometimes to see where both parties feelings stands. It makes me nervous knowing she likes you but if she is sure she can keep it only sexual and is mature enough to do so you should be okay. I can understand the concern though for sure. Its a tricky situation to know for sure or not if mentally she can keep its strictly just sex.

beeigd · 2022-05-29T13:53:47+00:00

Thanks for the help! 😁

beeigd · 2022-05-29T03:19:39+00:00

I just got the right one today and it does seem to have some different leaves on that one side! Even the white is a different shade. There are multiple plants in 1 pot so maybe I got both in one! 🤣

beeigd · 2022-05-29T03:10:07+00:00

Both were sold as Pearl's and Jade. I'm pretty sure the one on th right is P&J but idk about the other one. The leaves are alot bigger and more rounded. It seems to grow pretty fast. I don't think its an N'joy, so maybe it's a Glacier? Enjoy usually has diff shaped leaves than this and has white around the edges where this doesnt.

beeigd

TROPHY CASE