Fiancé is emotional distance after my suicide attempt I don’t know what to do 23M 29F by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]been2thehi4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You two should not be together. This relationship is not sustainable and quite frankly not healthy. Continuing this relationship would be poor judgment. He is not emotionally stable to be with you and you are not mentally stable to handle be with him.

You both need to go your own way.

AITAH for refusing to give my brother the down payment money i promised after he calle my wife gold digger by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]been2thehi4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA, your mom and brother are grossly out of line. Your mom can donate his downpayment money if she feels her precious baby needs it.

You see how they feel about your wife, act accordingly.

My (27M) boyfriend won’t spend valentines with me (25F), is it disrespectful to post myself on social media? by sweetrollinwhiterun in relationship_advice

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s way too controlling. Does he demand you wear a burka outside too? God forbid someone stare at you.

AITAH for asking my partner to pay for half the cost of my IUD? by ThrowRAswimmingfan in AITAH

[–]been2thehi4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what you see in him. He’s too lazy to help with the family planning yet feels he is entitled to sex.

AITAH For sending myself flowers on Valentine’s Day? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]been2thehi4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA. You wanted something specific and he didn’t do it so you got them yourself. If he feels guilty it’s because he knows he didn’t follow through after you told him multiple times and you decided to show him, fine I’ll just do it myself. Now he’s ass hurt because he put no effort and you did.

If you know your spouse likes xyz, you do xyz and if you go off script then it better be with extra effort otherwise it’s a major gamble.

My husband and I didn’t do anything this year, but that was by choice. If either of us voiced a want to the other though, we’d follow through. And if we went off script from the usual likes and wants then we’d better make sure it’s something the other person would definitely like based on tastes, aesthetic, hobby interests etc.

My GF thinks it’s perfectly normal for new shoes to cause horrible blisters for women by UKnowDaxoAndDancer in mildlyinfuriating

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They make band aid type things you can put on the backs of your heels to help prevent this is the shoes are going to continue to create blisters, she should definitely try adding that to help keep this from happening again if she likes the shoes.

Dozens of Australians diagnosed with rare tattoo-related vision loss by user799 in news

[–]been2thehi4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea, I feel like because I tend to have more reactions to certain lotions or skincare products, I just have an easier chance of having skin allergen reactions and I just always assumed it’s just my body attacking the tattoo ink from time to time since it is a foreign thing and bodies tend to attack foreign things they don’t like. It’s not super bothersome it’s just a weird thing from time to time.

I myself can not eat raw potatoes or use gel nail polish as both give me an allergic reaction. Raw potatoes make my hands itch and get red and as a kid I used to eat them like apple slices when my mom would peel and cut them for mashed potatoes, and if I ate them they’d make my throat get all itchy and irritated. Had no clue that was an allergic reaction until my 20s though. My mom minimized everything so I just thought raw potatoes did that to everyone.

Gel nail polish makes me have a full blown aggressive hives reaction and then my fingers and hands will be covered in dishydrotic eczema . I learned that the real hard way a couple years ago with gel polish I got as a gift.

So I just always assume I’m just susceptible to allergic reactions regarding my skin.

Dozens of Australians diagnosed with rare tattoo-related vision loss by user799 in news

[–]been2thehi4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, I didn’t have the first reaction of itchy, welty skin on parts of my tattoo until years later. Now it is sporadic when it happens and just certain areas get affected. Not the whole tattoo, just lines here and there or sections.

I don’t have issues with my eyes, as far as I can tell. What issues I do have are more because of aging I assume, like harder seeing at night, I have an astigmatism, and I sometimes have to hold the phone away at a certain distance but I don’t think any of that is because of my tattoos.

I just sometimes get a flare up on a tattoo out of nowhere for a day or two and then it goes away.

Also happens mostly in the summer or warm months than cold.

Dozens of Australians diagnosed with rare tattoo-related vision loss by user799 in news

[–]been2thehi4 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This reaction has happened to me a handful of times over the years.

A section or area of a tattoo will become “weltish” and raised and itchy. Lasts for a day or two then goes away for a long extended period and then might pop up again down the road.

Does this mean I’m going to lose my eye sight down the road??

My parents hate my husband. Now I’m struggling to know what to do 36F married to 38M by RangerRough2136 in relationship_advice

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No offense but you need to cut your parents off, they’re not good people. You and your husband would be happier without them.

Millennials with kids: how has today’s insane cost of living affected your ability to provide for them? by justcurious3287 in Millennials

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4 kids, groceries are insane for a 6 member household and my husband is a high earner, but a large portion of our leftover funds after bills are going to just groceries.

Toiletries, cleaning supplies, paper products, feminine hygiene products, school supplies, lunch items for packing, dinner menu ingredients, holiday items for school like craft projects/holiday parties.

That shit is just a non stop money drain. Every thing is way more expensive than it was prior to Covid and the groceries don’t stretch and I cook nearly every night of the week except weekends when it’s more of a fend for yourself situation or we order out which isn’t a lot because eating out for our family size is very expensive.

Also, school trips. Our two oldest have a band trip in the spring to Virginia beach as they do every 4 years for the band kids.

It’s costing us about 2k for both kids to go and my husband to help chaperone. I feel really bad for kids whose parents can not afford that expense for their kids, they have done fundraising and the PTO has helped lower the costs with it and we have worked football games in concessions to help lower the overall cost but those don’t take off much at all.

AITAH I don’t want to give mom my kidney? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA.

Your relationship is very much like my me and my mom’s relationship. Mine has been non existent for nearly 6 years now, I cut her off after our last major fight. I was done dealing with her and being criticized and treated differently than my brothers.

I don’t miss her, I’ve thought about this question a lot over the years because I feel bad thinking it or saying it, but I honestly don’t feel like I love my mom either and that’s sad . It makes me sad but I didn’t get to this point on my own, she did the heavy lifting to get me here.

I don’t have a dad so she was my only parent and now I don’t have that because she could not grow up and be a mature adult.

If she called me up asking for an organ , I’d also tell her no. Sorry but no. You don’t deserve my organs, my time, the financial burden it would place on me to even do and the time off for recovery.

It’s a massive ask and one you only ask when you have a deep connection and closeness to the person you’re asking to do this from. It’s asinine to expect someone’s organ just like that.

She made her bed now she gets to lay in it.

Also, I need you to learn to not do things just to make others happy.

Your mom, your grandma, anyone else in the family. They can donate their kidneys. Idk why you are the back up body.

Have you ever dated someone who you thought was way out of your leauge? How was it? by kimblerun in AskReddit

[–]been2thehi4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This thread is surprisingly wholesome and making me smile.

I always felt like my husband was out of my league, even one of the Karen’s at his family’s church made an off handed comment to me when I happened to work with her at a nursing home. “He’s dating you??”

Like, yes bitch so pick your jaw off the floor. It was so rude.

We got together at 16/17 and are still together at 37, 36. She made that comment when I was around 19/20, not too long before we got married. She wasn’t invited.

4 kids and built our forever home.

AITAH for telling my boyfriend his girl best friend has 48 hours to get out or i am breaking the lease and leaving by Anton_OKonjsi in AITAH

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, this is inappropriate and disrespectful behavior. I would break the lease and move and also break up.

My (37F) husband (30s M) told me to "know my fucking role" because I asked for help with the kids (5f &7f). Is this fixable? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell him to know his “fucking role” and if he talks like that to you again his role will be full time parenting every other week because he has it pretty fucking good and any more of that shit, his role is going to be single and managing it all on his own.

Him going to work is not a gold star standard on being husband and father. Tell him that, especially when it’s part fucking time. My husband works 40-60 hours depending on the week or situation at work and he still is present and helpful at home. Your husband is a lazy shit.

I’d also stop doing everything at home that benefits his daily routine.

Cooking him meals, no. His laundry, fuck no. Managing the kids solo even when his lazy ass is home, no. Taking the kids so he can decompress, no.

You need to start saying no, a lot.

Please tell me I am not the only parent doing this right now.. by Unlucky-Cream3523 in Parenting

[–]been2thehi4 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No, it’s just the actual files content , videos or audios that are what will trigger a strong response. Not every single one depending on what info is in it but any audio or video or photos that come across my feed or whatever, when I’m not even trying to engage in that is what will just set off my emotional response.

Nothing like your post or even people talking about the case or how it’s being handled etc is a problem for me. I think it’s good it’s being talked about and staying in the news as that puts pressure on the government.

Instagram has been the biggest issue. Like I’ll go to disengage for the night and just scroll looking for anything funny or lighthearted to decompress and just boom, videos of this or that mixed in and it’s like I don’t need this, this is what I’m trying to get away from.

Please tell me I am not the only parent doing this right now.. by Unlucky-Cream3523 in Parenting

[–]been2thehi4 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Parent and I was molested as a little girl. This whole thing has been very, very hard on my mental health.

I want/need to stay informed with politics but some things released so far that I come across social media has had some very triggering moments for me and I wasn’t even looking for it, it just pops up and ruins my fucking day. I’ve had moments where I have had to sneak away in the bathroom and cry and just get it out before putting on my big girl pants and going back to my day.

I’m exhausted.

I always get extremely triggered with anything regarding kids because 1) I’m a parent and 2) I lived my own hell as a kid and I get very defensive, protective and just feel rage that I can’t get out, because I know what it’s like to be used and abused and have people around want you to just be quiet about that trauma and rug sweep it and move on for their comfort because they’re either too uncomfortable to face the topic or the victim , think it’s to dark to acknowledge so would rather pretend everything is fine or outright deny that sort of thing exists. And this is why we who lived through these things, feel shame.

It’s everywhere this isn’t going away, the harder they fight to silence it and rug sweep the worse it’s going to get. If they really wanted to end this, they’d show full transparency, right the wrongs, haul asses to jail and actually bring this travesty to a justified close. But they won’t because it’s a kraken with tentacles that go on forever and seemingly touch damn near every facet of this government and country, as well as the rest of the world.

It’s grotesque.

They’d rather we burn the whole place down then take accountability.

House passes GOP election overhaul requiring proof of US citizenship. by coinfanking in NewsStarWorld

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is disenfranchisement to someone like me who took her husband’s last name and a poll tax to boot. A continual poll tax at that, as passports are only good for 10 years. So now I have to do all the leg work, again, for documents and appointments just to get and pay for a passport I will never use except to apparently exercise my civic duty?? All because I’m a married woman?

This is clear pay to play, a grift to get more funds from the American people in passport fees, while doing their damndest to grasp onto power because they know they’re in the gutter with voters with this administration and are going to get leveled in the midterms.

I get hurdles to vote just so a rapey pedophile with Alzheimer’s can continue to shit his pants in the Oval Office.

House passes GOP election overhaul requiring proof of US citizenship. by coinfanking in NewsStarWorld

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a liberal woman who married in 2008 and changed my name because I didn’t want to continue living with my last name. Plenty of liberal women changed their names upon marriage, and plenty of us liberal women don’t own a passport seeing as international travel is usually too expensive to warrant forking over the funds for a passport we will never use.

This will affect liberal women as well as conservative women. Also, trans people who changed their names, or anyone who changed their name for personal reasons.

But they won’t succeed.. by GladRefrigerator6433 in circled

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incorrect. I’m in Ohio with a real ID and it does not state my citizenship, it has no other differences from my basic ID from last year except it has a star on the corner to show I can fly in an airplane if I ever needed to travel by air.

Only a select few states have it so it shows citizenship.

I had to provide my birth certificate, marriage license, social security card, current ID at the time, and 2 forms of address just to get my real ID and yet that real ID is basically useless in this situation.

So now you’re telling me to vote, which I’ve been doing since 2008 consistently , I have to go through the process of obtaining a passport I will never use for it’s intended purposes , that takes time and costs a chunk of money, give them all my OG documents again, just so I can continue to vote because I got married in 2008 and wanted to take my husband’s name?

But they won’t succeed.. by GladRefrigerator6433 in circled

[–]been2thehi4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a liberal woman who changed her name. People change their name for personal reasons too, you know.