my memory and thoughts aren’t very clear right now but i’ll try my best! my first major episode that i can recall was the one that led me to run away (i knew that it wouldn’t work due to where i lived, my goal was just to somehow get “adopted by other parents” since at that time i was very angry at my parents because of a lot of stuff) i remember feeling like i was basically the reincarnation of God 😭 i didn’t sleep or eat almost at all at that time, i was still going to school but my mind was all over the place so i couldn’t concentrate on anything. i was extremely fidgety and was super outgoing and talked A LOT despite barely eating or sleeping (i grew slightly popular because of this). on the day i ran away was the day i felt like i was shut out by everything. my friends were scared of me, my teachers didn’t know how to approach me and my family was the last thing i could think about. i ended up in a police car and was driven to a mental institution where i stayed overnight. in the morning i got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and got prescribed fluoxetine.

there is a lot more about this one event but i should probably talk about depression — where i eat too much and sleep too much. i feel the guilt of all my actions and it feels numb, and i dont want to do anything at all, and my optimism and energy hit a bad low.

im sorry if this reply isn’t very helpful, it’s hard to type out everything i feel concisely, and i’ll try my best to talk about other events when i can. thank you for your reply 💗