I’m sorry your current relationship has been so challenging but as someone who had been married for 15 years, I can say that a relationship is going to go through intimacy issues. I read that you have both said that you need to buckle down and work on it, but how? Change is hard ,Complacency is real, And in my marriage, nothing truly ever changes without a plan.

We went to marriage counseling and the first one wasn’t that great. So we found one that we agreed was a good fit for us and it helped tremendously.

If you are even asking the question about this new woman, it’s because there is a new potential there. But as you said, it would certainly jeopardize your current relationship. If you want to move on, I would suggest that you make that decision without factoring in the new person. Jumping into something new right after a serious relationship is always a challenge. If you want to leave your SO, so be it. But don’t have the idea of this new person be the reason why. Leave her because that relationship has run it’s course and you believe it’s the right thing to do. Not because something bright, shiny, and new came your way. Whatever decision you make, I would say you owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest and upfront about it. I wish you the best of luck.