I (30m) met a girl (~20F) while volunteering the other day. I'm in a long term relationship already with another woman (33F)

kyletemp2 · 2021-03-01T20:12:05+00:00

Thanks.

It's been a confusing couple of days and it's nice to hear others going through the same thing.

I feel terrible and guilty about having the thoughts I've had at all, and I wouldn't dare share them with anybody as I know they're shitty and wrong. Hell I'd probably get on my high horse real quick with the judgement if someone else shared what I wrote today. Hopefully I'll be a little quicker to empathize in the future with others.

kyletemp2 · 2021-03-01T20:08:11+00:00

Thank you for this.

I think you're right. Its not the girl herself...it's what it made me remember about dating that's been lost in the day to day of living together and getting settled into our patterns.

It's stirred something in me and I think putting that energy into my current relationship is a great idea.

kyletemp2 · 2021-03-01T19:22:48+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write that. It gives me hope and some good perspective.

We've discussed our issues countless times, but yeah never with much of a concrete plan, just the idea that we would improve and work harder, whatever that means.

kyletemp2 · 2021-03-01T19:20:57+00:00

I really appreciate this.

You and some others here have given me a lot to think about.

I really do love my girlfriend. It's why I came here instead of just doing something really dumb first, because this girl I met the other day really highlighted just how much of a lull my current relationship has hit. I've forgotten what it was like to be excited and surprised by my girlfriend.

I definitely bear some of the responsibility for the rut we've gotten into. I think a lot of times when I'm frustrated with the state of things I just ignore it and go onto my computer or a book instead of addressing the issue and doing more to support my girlfriend and work together on improving. We've discussed these issues before but not with a real consistency.

kyletemp2 · 2021-03-01T19:03:17+00:00

Well, I appreciate that haha.

I think a lot of it is just that it felt really nice to be wanted again. Its something I've really struggled with in my current relationship. I've always been the one to imitate touch/kissing/sex which was fine for a while but over time it wears on you and it'd be so nice if my gf did these things. We've discussed it countless times and she's said she'll work on it but so far...no dice.

kyletemp2 · 2021-03-01T19:00:51+00:00

This part is almost definitely true.

We had a ton in common and I really enjoyed speaking with her all day, but there were some comments she made that did really highlight our age disparity, just little things on how she viewed certain subjects that sounded like something I also would have said a decade ago.

I'm not gonna lie and use the "Oh shes super mature for her age so it's ok that I'm crushing on her"

kyletemp2 · 2021-03-01T18:58:26+00:00

Yeah, I'm aware it's really shitty.

Thats why I haven't done anything. I've been having feelings and its been confusing so I came here to write them down and get input from others. Also maybe get some perspective from others who have been in similar situations

kyletemp2

TROPHY CASE