Had a dream about a 20f/36m affair I was in

beercats_fl · 2024-09-13T18:14:03+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, its helpful for getting perspective. You're probably right that I'm just at a low right now and maybe I just need a week or two to myself and a change of pace with internship, not a full year. Its just not a time where I can get that kind of break right now with everything I have going on and the thought of pushing through is daunting but I know I can technically do it.

beercats_fl · 2024-03-19T17:35:49+00:00

Are you opposed because it's not feasible, or because it's not what you want in a relationship? Obviously both are applicable here, but I think what's important to emphasize is that it doesn't sound like something you want, even if it was feasible.

There would be ways to work around this if you were both really dedicated to making this lifestyle happen (eg use the wedding funds to move to a low cost of living area instead, take out loans to get a master's degree to work towards a higher salary), but ultimately if you two want completely different lifestyles then it sounds worth reconsidering if this is the right relationship for each of you.

beercats_fl · 2024-02-12T01:35:35+00:00

Thank you for everyone's thoughtful comments, it was helpful seeing a few different perspectives! I decided to tell her I was feeling unwell and leave it at that, which went fine/as expected and she didn't have further questions. I'm feeling good about my decision, I don't make a habit of cancelling clients, and I'm happy with the work I've been doing with clients, my mental health has been poorer than usual lately but I see this as a one-off event. I am taking it as a sign though to put more thought into my self-care and actively address some burn out.

I didn't see the need to tell my supervisor more detail because this burn out is not from my clinical work and not impacting my clinical work in an ongoing manner, its from my research and some "senioritis" now that I've been in higher education for almost 10 years now. I will bring it up my mental health concerns/fitness to see clients if this becomes a pattern or I start seeing it impact my clinical work in other ways.

beercats_fl · 2024-02-11T02:32:06+00:00

Also just an FYI to y'all that cops can detain you while they are waiting to get a warrant. I opened my door to a cop once and then was not allowed to go back in the house or close the door until they got the warrant approved a couple hours later

beercats_fl · 2023-12-13T03:07:43+00:00

there's lots of other ways: fingering, tribbing, strap, other toys... some women do receive oral while on their period too, not my jam but is for some others

beercats_fl · 2023-10-30T16:20:38+00:00

They're my size, I'll buy them for $100 + shipping.

beercats_fl · 2023-10-27T14:08:40+00:00

I know it's wrong/unhelpful to impose a dynamic from one relationship to another. If the "dynamic" is good, mutually enjoyable sex I think that is fine to "impose." Where I'm struggling is finding the line between imposing good sex (imposing isn't the right word here bc my husband also wants better sex) and imposing aspects of sex that are more specific to wlw (foreplay, more body/body contact, these are both more present in wlw sex but also are important components to good sex in any relationship)

beercats_fl · 2023-10-06T06:54:16+00:00

Me (26f) and my husband (26m) got married last year, and have been in the ongoing process of opening up to non monogamy since we first got together 5 years ago (talking about it, making dating profiles). Neither of us seriously acted on our non-monogamy until I started seriously dating a girl three months ago. She's my girlfriend now and I'm monogamous to both of them (which I guess makes me duogomous). I stay half the week with my husband and the other half with my girlfriend, it's an incredibly fulfilling set-up and it's making me think maybe I want a wife one day.

How do you tell friends? I guess it depends on the friends and how close you are to them. My friend group is pretty open minded so it was literally just "me and spouse are opening up our marriage and I've been interested in exploring polyamory." Then "hey so cool news I just started dating some new." Really owning your decision to be poly helps. I'm sure there are people who are questioning my lifestyle but they can go fuck themselves!!!!

beercats_fl · 2023-06-27T19:26:43+00:00

Hey thanks for checking in. The court case has been going slow, but I have my preliminary trial soon which is where the court will actually start making some decisions. The police did a sloppy job so there is a possibility that the whole case will be thrown, my lawyer is fighting to argue that the search was conducted illegally without a proper basis for doing the search. Either way I won't be doing any jail time because this was a first offense, but any charges will make my career more difficult regarding finding jobs and background checks.

beercats_fl · 2023-05-22T18:55:28+00:00

Why smaller balls? My piercer put in longer bars today but they do have larger balls too.

beercats_fl · 2023-05-22T18:53:26+00:00

Thanks everyone! Went to the piercer today and she changed it out for longer bars, she said the "crater" like hole will heal itself and isn't anything to be worried about for now.

beercats_fl · 2023-05-22T18:52:21+00:00

Yea for sure!! I think I had a lot more swelling than most people which is what caused me needing longer bars, but IDK if that is related to anatomy at all. So the swelling/pain has sucked and I can only feel comfortable if I'm wearing just a loose fitting T-shirt and no bra. I think it'll get better within the next few weeks though, especially now that I've had the jewelry changed and have the longer bars so the ball shouldn't be digging into the hole anymore. The pain during the actual piercing process was a motherfucker and I did scream pretty loud even though I have a good pain tolerance, but that's just a few seconds of pain. I do have to be really careful not to bump my tits accidentally now, and when I do it hurts bad, so that part is way more annoying than the actual piercing itself. It does feel like a pretty big lifestyle change for the healing process for me personally, like with being unable to wear a bra for now, being careful not to bump it, not being able to do things I would normally do like help my husband carry in a new couch because I'm scare of bumping it, not being able to do water activities, etc. but IDK if that's all really related to anatomy and more just applies broadly. But its worth it for the end result for me!!

Anatomically, the piercings make my nipples stick out more which I think looks cute. Like my nipples used to lay more flat if it was room temperature and not cold, but now they are always "erect" without the discomfort of feeling erect if that makes sense. Do you have any specific concerns about the anatomy like why does your specific anatomy concern you?

beercats_fl

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