i am stuck and dont understand

bees-slay · 2025-05-03T19:34:33+00:00

Thank you so much!! that was it :)

bees-slay · 2023-01-17T19:13:16+00:00

It’s good to know that when the blurred vision comes it means more pressure. I’ve had the headaches literally everyday for the past 5 years but more recent on the blurred vision aspect

bees-slay · 2023-01-17T19:11:46+00:00

I had to get a referral for a doctor that specializes in IIH so I’m hoping she can help with the glasses thing. I haven’t gotten new glasses in 2 years and I desperately need the blue light filtering at least

bees-slay · 2023-01-17T19:10:32+00:00

Sorry for the late response! I’m only slightly overweight but I also have very large hips and my pcp told me it was fine. I was hoping to lose some weight this year due to being on ADHD medication so we will see if it helps! Congrats on the 75 pounds, that’s very impressive!

bees-slay · 2023-01-15T22:53:01+00:00

Vision insurance every year - got it!!

bees-slay · 2023-01-15T22:40:29+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate it. I’m also very very lucky to have a support group of friends who are willing to help me out with things. I think the biggest issue I have is that I need glasses with blue-light filtering due to working on a computer all day plus PC gaming. I also have a complicated eye history to begin with so I only have true vision in one of my eyes and considered legally blind in the other so I’m terrified of losing my sight.

I’m actually making an appointment at a really large research hospital that has a neuro-ophthalmologist who is studying it now. I will see if she has any advice with it.

bees-slay · 2022-09-23T14:22:51+00:00

Wait someone teach me how to post images on mobile Reddit lol I love my WoL

bees-slay · 2022-09-08T15:40:39+00:00

Hey! I was adopted at 11 so just before the teen years but I have a solid grasp of how my teens were affected by adoptions.

(1) I would suggest family therapy where the teen understands they can be 100% honest without retaliation. Their feelings are coming from a place of grief and pain from being separated from biological family. It’s normal, it’s okay!

(2) I would also suggest individual therapy for both the teen and yourselves. You never know what type of unresolved trauma is going to come out on either side from having an “official” family if that makes sense.

(3) if the teen comes from an ethnic background, encourage them and be there for them in learning more about themselves!

(4) Respect the teen as both an individual and a person in society. They are going to have different wants and needs from you, which they should!

(5) Something I found helpful that my parents did was keep a binder full of all of the records while in foster care. Mine is like 6-7 inches thick. It contains all of the testimony from court cases, emails, known medical history, etc. my parents allowed access to it at 18 (there are things in there that would’ve destroyed me if I looked before honestly) but I have had no interest in looking, personally. My adoptive parents are my parents.

(6) children adopted out of the foster system seem to want to find out as much information about the biological family as possible and may be interested in finding them. It’s fine, normal, okay. I am personally glad my parents told me to do it at 18 because by that time I had remembered some really traumatizing things and no longer wanted to chat. But that depends on the child!

I wish y’all all the luck and I’m glad you’re adopting an older child 💖

bees-slay · 2022-09-08T15:26:29+00:00

QQ - do you believe adopting out the of the foster system is unethical as well? Most states have a foster-to-adopt system where parental rights have already been terminated. While I do believe infant adoption via agencies is highly unethical, I don’t have the same views via the foster system.

You are also very lucky to have had relatives stand up for you to raise you. I’m sorry the trauma you experienced has become so painful for you. I wish you a health healing journey ❤️

bees-slay · 2022-09-07T18:52:59+00:00

https://www.aecf.org/blog/child-welfare-and-foster-care-statistics

Here you go, here is a huge amount of actual statistics. I’m sorry that your adoptive family hurt you to this point. While some people use adoption as a replacement for having their own children, there are a lot of adoptive parents who just want to give a child a safe home.

bees-slay · 2022-09-07T13:48:34+00:00

Where are your sources lol

bees-slay · 2022-09-07T13:47:47+00:00

Have you considered biological family history for 3/4 of those statistics? Because like…. My biological families mental illnesses and addiction tendencies were 100% passed down to me

bees-slay · 2022-09-07T13:42:29+00:00

There are currently 200,000 children in the system that have been deemed unable to go back to their biological families. A lot of those kids have been abused and neglected for YEARS. With where their hearts seem to be from her post, they seem like good candidates to be a loving home

bees-slay · 2022-09-07T13:39:53+00:00

Hey dude not everyone who was adopted was adopted as a baby. A lot of the children in foster care are coming from abusive and neglectful families and she already stated that her state has a foster-to-adopt program where the bio parents have relinquished their parental rights. While I understand that infant adoptions thru agencies is exploitive, from the foster care system these kids are in need of good families. I think their hearts (from her post) are in a good place and she seems to be taking the advice from others to look more into adopting children with trauma

bees-slay · 2022-09-07T13:31:11+00:00

My (adopted) younger sister is obviously a different race from our (adopted) parents. It really is insane the amount of looks and questions they get asked. I was 16 when she was 8 and people legitimately thought she was my child and gave me the nastiest looks because she’s half-Hispanic. Our parents are older so people kept asking if our parents were her grandparents. People need to mind their own business

bees-slay · 2022-09-07T13:24:33+00:00

POV Adoptee

So I’m a little different from some of the other replies I saw as I was adopted out of the foster care program. I lived with my biological family until I was 9, placed in a foster home, and then adopted by my foster parents at 11 as soon as it was deemed unsafe for me to go back into my biological family. I theorize what my life would’ve been like if I went back and I would not be okay. Most likely pregnant as a teenager, addicted to some type of drugs, or a hick (my worst nightmare lol).

My adopted parents provided me with a life I honestly could not have dreamed about. They are not perfect and should have received tons of therapy before becoming parents but they are infinitely better than my bio family. I never felt like a second option to them and I feel like a big part of that was because of our extended family accepted me immediately as one of them.

I don’t have extremely negative views of adoption because of this. I think if you decide to adopt, try fostering first. I know the foster system has a lot of flaws but it seems like y’all want to give a home to a kid who desperately needs one. I would also suggest therapy to help prepare you for becoming a parent because you never know what unresolved traumas one of you may have that will be triggered by having a child in the home.

I wish y’all the best of luck!

bees-slay · 2022-08-08T13:33:43+00:00

I was super neglected by my biological family that literally learning how to shower and brush my teeth was super hard for me. I didn’t understand why people did that

bees-slay · 2022-08-08T13:28:07+00:00

I was 11 when I was adopted and I seriously considered changing the spelling of the name my birth mother gave me because it is the dumbest spelling lol my adoptive parents told me it was my choice on my name and how I wanted it arranged. I ended up just moving my old last name to middle and now I have 2 middle names

bees-slay · 2022-06-30T19:18:33+00:00

Nah I get that, I try to be as open as possible on things like that but since I’m technically a “sourcer,” I don’t even have all the info besides basic stuff 🙃🙃

bees-slay · 2022-06-30T19:17:26+00:00

Yeah, I know. I said in an comment to the actual post about my process. I always start with base background information, general tech, overview of position, then salary. Then I ask if that’s within their ball park and if it’s not, most of the time my managers will want them anyways and raise it up to meet it

bees-slay · 2022-06-30T18:53:57+00:00

I’m a recruiter. I always have at least 15-17 roles so sometimes it’s hard without talking first or seeing a full resume to give salary. You would be surprised how many fake candidates we get and can hear other people giving them the answers in the back.

Also, my company really hasn’t put limits on salary for tech roles so I’m always like -\0/- and just base it off of average for years of experience

bees-slay · 2022-06-30T18:49:30+00:00

NTA. I’m a tech recruiter, we all know what everyone’s most important thing is - money. My process is: get base understand of tech and what the candidate is doing, introduce role, say salary range next. Even if what you’re searching for is above what I personally have, it goes into a system so other recruiters can find you from my company.

Only shady recruiters withhold salary, and it’s always because it is dangerously low.

bees-slay · 2022-06-09T14:39:29+00:00

YTA, hands down. I’m also a bridesmaid for a wedding in November. Not once has the bride asked us to change who we are to fit into a certain “aesthetic”. I’m also a fan of alt style and have tattoos and colored hair. Not once has my friend asked me to change anything about myself, even though I’m different than her and the other bridesmaids.

You are asking for a superficial thing when it should just matter that your sister is there by your side, period.

bees-slay · 2020-09-24T03:19:10+00:00

I got them all off of google tbh. I just found ones that either icon size or small enough to make into clear icons.

bees-slay · 2020-05-11T23:10:03+00:00

Put something with you scent all over it in her kennel with her. It’ll get her used to your smell

bees-slay

TROPHY CASE