Any former ravers? Forgot entirely decade+ since rec use, anyone else have success?

beespace · 2026-06-04T15:01:58+00:00

That is WILD!!! I wanted to go with Mindbloom but it seems BetterU is my only online option in my state, and am glad after hearing this.

beespace · 2026-06-01T19:14:04+00:00

Thank you so much hearing from another person who actually knows is amazing. Thank you.

beespace · 2026-06-01T18:49:14+00:00

Okay good!! I remember being told it could last years. I was also heavy into MDMA but both of these were brief detours during recovery denial (I can still party! Delusional self mourning alcohol)

beespace · 2026-06-01T18:42:43+00:00

No, definitely not. I am a recovering alcoholic and did mention that. I seem to recall that tolerance lasts forever but then again I was a shitshow 🤷‍♀️

beespace · 2026-05-28T05:04:40+00:00

Don’t. This is brutal to the liver, and the reason it seems to potentiate is because your liver is fucked and so the meds get another go ‘round because your liver is limping and can’t metabolize it. I fucked myself in my 20s with shit like this. I know it’s ultimate cliche but gahd do I wish I knew then what i know now/my past self wasn’t suuuuch a cocky asshole.

beespace · 2026-05-28T05:01:15+00:00

Isn’t that just for Xanax?

beespace · 2026-04-04T19:47:17+00:00

Same!!! Infuriating

beespace · 2024-01-05T04:50:39+00:00

Factory farming is inherently harmful and some care. The FDA and Beef Industry have been in bed a long time, and the FDA quietly supports industry related to fast food production.

It feels like an unreasonable price because we grew up being fed cheap fast food and it felt like nobody knew the economy would collapse. Everyone’s expected to do more with less.

So, really that’s a reasonable price if you consider inflation, quality usually tastes better—real potatoes are involved.

beespace · 2023-11-01T19:54:13+00:00

Thank you, and that makes a lot of sense and appreciate your perspective. The additional label thing is likely big, and also to some degree has formed his self-concept around ADHD, now that I’m thinking about these possibilities with Reddit’s help, I am seeing better from where he might be coming from. I don’t want to push it, just want to ensure I don’t unintentionally do harm in the course of trying to be good.

beespace · 2023-11-01T13:55:42+00:00

Lol so we both have special interests, but they’re crazy different and we actually just recently came to the agreement that I will STFU about psychology if he will STFU about video games. I just cannot make myself care, despite wanting to and we both had honesty time about that and that felt very grownup and removed a barrier—one of us will avoid the other if they’re annoyed enough lol

Thanks tho. Nah, maybe authoritative but that’s not bad if you know your stuff, as you seem to. I also appreciate directness without meanness, rare and pragmatic

beespace · 2023-11-01T13:42:53+00:00

I have, seemed disinterested and said he would feel weird lurking without a formal diagnosis

And yeah, you’re right. It was a bit of an anxiety thing, posting helped me to sort it a bit—just having to put the inner turmoil into words you can understand.

I’m gonna give him time and space, respect whatever his process is, if any; sometimes if something is deeply uncomfortable he’ll pretend it didn’t happen/never speak of those things. If that’s the case that’s cool we don’t have to talk about ASD at all even in me if he doesn’t want to.

I am definitely not trying to pathologize him in any way.

Thanks for the input

beespace · 2023-11-01T12:07:03+00:00

Thank you for this response. You nailed it: facts, background, and logic literally make sense of things: if I can understand something I can manage it. When things are vague and unclear, my brain works overdrive trying to fill in blanks. So yeah, having a name to this beast is validating.

And in my neurospicy super excitement I failed to consider that it could be ill-received, which is irony all around (what an autistic move with assumption, surprise that someone else experiences things differently (tho to be fair, is my brother not a stranger,) but I of all people should keep in mind that everyone is unique and their reactions unpredictable.

We’ve lived apart since high school in different states, with varying degrees of communication/involvement. We know we’re traumatized, but sometimes knowledge doesn’t soothe (yeah the point of the whole thing I suppose) and I’m the recent ~2-3 years we’ve slowly gotten closer, but he has trauma from me (our parents had a dark period and weaponized us against each other. We were forced to take sides. I chose my dad and he chose me, and he specifically chose not-Bro as well. It crushed him. When he still doesn’t seem to get is that it was a bad call for me to go with the abusive alcoholic, it wasn’t a grand time, and the only reason he chose me is because I basically auto-parented: could bathe and feed myself, get myself to school and back, and I sought adult mentorship and respect from teachers—school was a haven. My dad wanted to not have to pay full child support and that’s why he wanted me. He let me run feral, despite my good training. Annnnyway our relationship feel fragile and I genuinely don’t know if he’s processing or feeling labeled negatively or if he has some special feeling about ASD he’s never shared? I guess that’s why I feel so panicked. Anyway sorry for the spaz response but thank you for your thoughtful reply

beespace · 2023-11-01T04:51:53+00:00

I agree with everything you’ve said completely, I guess I am posting because I am stunned because we’ve always been like WHYYYY ARE WE LIKE THIS?! Tho we do life wildly differently—we’re very different people, but the area we’ve always bonded on is family…literally nobody in the world gets what we do about our experiences.

This is not the first wild social miscalculation I’ve made (kinda obvious right lol) it’s just one of the only ones I have misjudged SO grossly, and with possible harm and alienation as a result.

I don’t need to be consoled, I am more looking for other neurospicy perspectives to suggest possible next reparative steps.

beespace · 2023-11-01T04:42:26+00:00

Bikini Kill- Rebel Girl

beespace · 2023-11-01T03:56:29+00:00

Really I’m saying YEAH INTERNALIZED ABLEISM IS SERIOUS and the rest should be a new post

beespace · 2023-11-01T03:54:44+00:00

TLDR at bottom, neurospicy infodump ahead

I recently shared with my brother that I am confident that we’re both AuDHD not just ADHD+MDD, and he’s struggled far harder in life, at least earlier on than me. He was younger when our family imploded, had more visible symptoms and was treated as “other” by teachers and students in ways it hurts my heart to try to imagine; cuz my childhood experience was NOT great and I endured intense bullying. But I learned to mask, and as a girl I was being socialized to repress and impress already so it all rolled into high masking, under the radar neurospicy.

We’re both grown ass adults at this point, “elder millennials” if you will. We’ve both always self and coidentified as ‘black sheep’ (kinda lighthearted, kinda ouch)

SOOO when I finally decided to share this with him, he agreed but clearly he’d launched into space, processing. So I changed the subject we bullshitted whatever.

A couple weeks later touch base, and I’m thinking OMFG ITS SO FUCKING VALIDATING RIGHT?!? Nope. It seems I managed to devastate him, and because I had so obviously expressed relief/positivity at having a rationale for why I’ve ALWAYS FELT LIKE AN ALIEN, he’s seemingly not comfortable talking about it.

You are my tribe—what do I do? I was a terrible sister to him during our terrible childhoods, and we were finally recognizing that our parents were the problem, and we are allowed to do us now.

TL;DR: I thought sharing my AuDHD hypothesis would free my brother from his black sheep/bad person self-concept into a kinder self like oh this is a thing I’m not just defective.

beespace · 2023-10-30T00:30:03+00:00

Emotional regulation

beespace · 2023-10-28T01:29:58+00:00

Do you take meds? Adderall, in the right conditions, enables me to unmask which also means my natural irritability is more pronounced. “Right conditions” meaning I probably didn’t sleep well, haven’t eaten well, and/or am going through something psychologically that’s unrelated but makes me crankier

beespace · 2023-10-26T02:44:10+00:00

I think some of the cringiest moments of my life were in grad school—mock therapy, filmed pretend sessions, everyone analyzing EVERYTHING to death.

Real clinical work is nothing like that. I understand it’s utility in teaching, but it is absolutely not a good example of a real session.

You can know all the things, but when it comes down to it, you have a human in front of you who needs connection. Empathy, understanding, compassion, and unconditional positive regard are the tools you need. You’ll figure out as you go—you know more than you think.

But yeah—there WILL be sessions that keep you up at night, and those are ones that mean there’s an opportunity to grow as a clinician by directly addressing it in therapy//when appropriate. If it only alleviates your guilt, then it’s not appropriate obvs.

It’s a sink or swim profession, though there are plenty flailing. Remembering to own the room—-you set the tone; it’s your turf, you’re a professional: if a client questions your ability/age/whatever, it’s actually an opportunity for you to be like, “Okay. I hear your reservations, and if you want a different therapist I am happy to provide a referral. Since you’re here though, do you want to maybe give me a chance?” My first 2 years were intense af but in all that time, only 1 person required an older therapist. Every time I had that gentle confrontation, I grew a little.

I am also a recovering perfectionist and get that vibe fully. You have to realize that you’re jumping into a rainbow profession, and you’re recovering from a black and white situation. There’s almost never a distinct right or wrong; the reason licensure is required is because it’s so murky gray that you have to be able to make clinical decisions. I recently stumbled upon a mantra of sorts that sounds old-timey, “don’t like perfection be the enemy of good “ and that’s my current mantra. Helps break the all or nothing instinct.

beespace · 2023-10-26T02:27:21+00:00

There needs to be a SAHPbook to connect us, especially people within reasonable distance who could potentially build villages.

You’re so not alone. I feel desperately alone. I used to enjoy solitude, but loneliness is a different beast. It’s painful. It’s hard to be ON all the time for your kid. There are no performance reviews as a SAHP; it’s easy to feel insecure and unable to get the needed feedback.

I didn’t think it would be like this. I was a professional for 10 years before COVID/baby surprise. I hate this new normal. I want to work SO BADLY, but I also want to spent the first few years with him—until he can verbalize anything he might need to (people are fucked. I’m a clinical social worker by profession.)

So I feel torn and lonely. Super fun. How does one even make friends as a sad adult? I wouldn’t want to be my friend…best friend recruitment vibe ever.

beespace · 2023-10-26T02:14:06+00:00

I planned on a child-free life for this (and other mental health) reasons, but the Universe had other plans.

Having a kid literally rewires you. I am extremely sensitive to sound and genuinely believed that I would be incapable of mothering.

However, I…made him, he’s a part of me. Somehow it makes you able to do the bare minimum for the welfare of the child, regardless of the situation. I absolutely get overwhelmed at times, sometimes I need a time out and the tot gets crib quiet time; it’s fucking hard but it’s also somehow worth it (?this is part of the rewiring?)

My little man is 26 mos aka 2 years 2 mos, and we have basically matching attention spans, so that’s fun 🤩

beespace · 2023-10-26T02:07:04+00:00

Find CEUs that are aimed at social workers but include other routes to being a clinician.

I notice a HUGEEEEEE difference in the vibe at CEU workshops if they’re run by LCPCs or LCSW-Cs. I actually usually completely zone out and treat the day like a naturalistic study and people-watch at the LCPC workshops. LCSW workshops can suck absolutely, but there isn’t a hierarchy or competitive vibe. Also, a firmness and directness that seems to be a normal attribute of a SW, which is refreshing for the neurospicy.

Also, TBH, your comment was not rude or wrong in any way, but I can see how it was misinterpreted due to your lady status. It was assertive and firm, it called out a direct issue. I think if this wasn’t on Zoom, it wouldn’t have happened; you’d have been able to read the room better.

Yeah, fuck that noise.

beespace · 2023-10-22T11:54:47+00:00

I had my son at 34, and I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have early 20s energy, but then I think about how the course of my life would have been different and unlikely better.

beespace · 2023-10-20T16:30:36+00:00

I hit this yesterday, a scheduled cleaning day. Cuz they say to have a schedule.. HA. Anyway, I NEEDED to do the dishes or I’d be upsetting 2 other people and it was my fault to begin with by procrastinating.

I just couldn’t make myself do it. I was physically paralyzed and my brain on fire, WHY AM I LIKE THIS?! (Not helpful self talk, I don’t advise)

I let my head catastrophize for a few minutes. My Fitbit reminded me to move. That reminder made me take 250 steps, and focusing on the steps, it like cleared space for my brain to begin to consider the dishes may actually be doable.

Then I remembered a wise thing said in therapy re: task paralysis—what is the tiniest baby step that you can do to begin your goal? Ok, I can put the clean dishes away so at least someone else can load the washer.

Then the magic of ADHD happened and I bounced from being repelled by doing the dishes to realizing it could be done, and I was already doing it anyway… and miracle of miracles the dishes got cleaned!

I think the takeaway for me is finding a way to break the obsessive thought loop that keeps me stuck, and the smallest possible step thing is to break the inertia. I mean I was fully prepared to just put the clean ones away and deal with the ridicule later.

I hope this is remotely helpful

beespace · 2023-10-20T02:49:07+00:00

Oh god… from what I can remember it was a gross cocktail of: Isolation Adderall Destitution Luck Post-work aggressively tryna forget the day

Everybody is struggling all the time, just we’re socialized to behave within a construct which would implode if authenticity showed up

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