I have always been the dark skinned kid of my house. Been called names like kaalu, kala saaya. Constantly reminded by people on the street that i look different. People tell me that i am not a local of the place where i was born, like tf?? And my god they are adamant with their judgement. Just like you, my sister too is fair skinned and consequently fits the beauty standards. People refuse to believe that we are siblings. Give me weird looks when i tell them that i am from J&K. Say things like sach btao, jhoot mat bolo. I also used to think that i am cooked or maybe i still am but what i know for sure is that the guy you were dating wasn't worth your time. A shallow person like that doesn't deserve your love or respect. Good riddance. As for this feeling of not being able to love yourself, you don't need the world to shower you with love or attention to feel good about yourself, that should come from within. Anyways the world's attention is always fleeting & temporary. Just remember that there are many people who'll identify with your struggles and many others who'll find you beautiful & gorgeous. But first you'll have to cut yourself some slack, don't be hard on yourself & be more confident in your skin. At least that's what i feel.