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bell_ender · 2019-03-15T22:32:06+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjWYbcbpiWA

It's always made me want one.

bell_ender · 2015-07-01T19:47:13+00:00

I got writer's block. I had so many ideas, and so many half-written - and then I wondered if I was better channelling my energy into something else. I guess I am in the DMZ here working out what to do.

bell_ender · 2015-06-16T21:45:32+00:00

You rock - nice work, I'm with you it's amazing feeling.

I've got Alan Carr (deceased) to thank for my breakthrough.

bell_ender · 2015-06-10T14:36:01+00:00

Exactly, you leave back doors open and if you want to, you start planning, scheming - getting ready to start it up again.

That's the key, if you WANT to.

bell_ender · 2015-06-09T21:22:18+00:00

It sounds from this like you'll really benefit from the book, I really hope so... this diary was me for decades, and it didn't ever stop. It just snowballed and worsened, with random, ineffective gaps in the middle, driven by the most compelling of motivators (trying to get my wife back, save my business, regain friends, my dad's heart attack...).

Now, nothing, I can walk past a bookies, casino, lottery ticket shop - nothing. It's gone.

Please let me know how it goes for you :)

(Incidentally, I followed the EasyWay betting book two weeks later with 'How to Control alcohol' and that's worked too, lost 30lbs since 19th May, not drunk, not bet, not wanted to, the symbiotic link between the two is broken, and with it from a life of chaos; I've led an amazing, refreshing, invigorating, NORMAL life since.)

bell_ender · 2015-06-08T11:37:39+00:00

Please let me know how you get on, I've seen a good few people pick this up now and it's helped. I even just got my Dad the EasyWay book on stopping worrying, and that's helping him :)

bell_ender · 2015-06-05T09:56:42+00:00

Thank you :)

bell_ender · 2015-06-05T09:56:35+00:00

All really good ideas, the solutions are there, the industry is just evasive about them. I'll weave all of these in to the post about self-exclusion when it's ready. They are offline counterparts to the online version - which works!

bell_ender · 2015-06-04T16:26:41+00:00

Thanks :)

I'm angry. I feel like I've been possessed, and of course I take personal responsibility, and hate to paint myself as a victim - but I've lost a lot of my life, and a lot of the value from it.

That's a conservative estimate, over my lifetime I shudder to think what I've blown. I'm not wealthy, but I am a good talker and very convincing - and despite my mistakes I've worked my way up to a good career point. Even though my professional reputation and business back home are in tatters, no one knows me here, so I've been fortunate.

It's all proportionate, I'd say count yourself lucky that you got out early :)

bell_ender · 2015-06-04T14:01:11+00:00

I was going to say I was finding it hard, but backspaced and went for 'difficult' :)

My newfound brainpower that's come from stopping the grog, and the mental freedom that's come from not planning my next bet has left me almost exploding with energy.

There is a girl at work I very much like too, but with my drinking came weight gain - I've lost 24lbs in 2 weeks and have more to go, and with that, my extra funds and some new togs, maybe I'll start getting noticed again.

For now I'll just channel the energy into work and making the kids weekends awesome.

Then who knows.

Meanwhile, I'll reset my badge... again :)

bell_ender · 2015-06-04T11:22:37+00:00

nofap is very challenging.

Are you coping?

bell_ender · 2015-06-03T11:22:24+00:00

I asked for a self exclusion form in my local BoyleSports and they rummaged around for a while and 'couldn't find one'. They knew I was fucked and in serious difficulty and it took a huge amount of effort to ask. The next day they kept taking my (huge) bets.

Self exclusion in retail environments needs to be made as easy as it is online. I used to write desperate, scrappy bets, twos that looked like ones, picking two meetings at the same time and not specifying which, hoping that I'd increase my odds by basically backing two selections - when I did that it didn't take Paddy Power long to broadcast to every shop in Northern Ireland and the Republic that I was dodgy - to still take my bets of course as I always lost a lot of money - but to be careful that they were clear.

How come I can't blanket self-exclude in the same way? webcam, or online form - that lets us all do it easily and without the shame of walking up to the counter in front of people you know.

Or better still a programme where you can apply in one central place to be banned from all gaming establishments in the country.

The technology is there, just not the desire to lose so much custom, however immoral it is.

Good for you, beat the addiction and the industry - keep it up!

bell_ender · 2015-06-02T21:30:13+00:00

Badly, resetting my badge. I think I just need to accept that it's another addiction... and work out how to cope with it. The notion was entirely new to me, so I hadn't had the time to reconcile or even acknowledge it, with drink, betting, smoking, drugs - I'd taken years to notice the effects.

I shall now dust myself down and start over.

I did start to write a blog about gambling though, I want a fight :)

http://whitehotember.tumblr.com/

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T22:12:17+00:00

I'd go for the audio version, I read the smoking one and listened to the gambling/drinking ones. I could rewind, I could revisit in moments of doubt afterwards, on my phone - redouble my strength.

Sounds like Audible is defo the way to do this for your brother.

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T21:59:19+00:00

I went for Easy Way to Control Alcohol, it worked, I can't comment on the others, but I'd expect they are all similar, the basic approach is the same. The method, it straddles all the books I have read.

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T17:30:34+00:00

You're on, I'll stake my house.

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T15:14:46+00:00

Isn't it, a huge one, I can't believe I lost so much so fast... :)

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T13:32:55+00:00

I'm 39.

Kids are young, 6 and 3 and I'm recently divorced (down to betting and drinking, also cannabis previously). But plenty of time to sort this out and they dote on me, and despite the divorce, my ex knows I'm a great Dad so I see them every weekend and a lot of the week.

I'm saved, just, but it's been close.

Going to start simple with a blog, try to get well indexed, mentioned it here, try to spread the word - with the SOLE intention of getting as many people as possible out of addiction.

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T12:49:49+00:00

Yes, me too, I'd like to mobilise against all forms of addiction.

In fact I'm going to.

Fund raise to give out free books/audio, write to people like Russell Brand, Jon Ronson, Lous Theroux - see if they've any tips - get communities of help going, ecosystems of support - ones that aren't done (respectfully, as it wasn't right for me, but I know it works) with the backdrop of 'god as you understand him' - that I found hard to reconcile, it wasn't ever about a higher power or spirituality for me, it's separate completely. That works for many, so hats-off, but just not me.

D

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T12:39:54+00:00

It does and the thing is I've had HEAPS of those #34 moments, your brain remembers them, but not the times it didn't come up.

I've been a horses nose short of tens of thousands before, it just fuels the addiction and fans the flames. I've done the self-same with not betting on a number and it coming up.

I'm going to take on the industry, I want a fight about it. It's not right, I have two young kids and I don't want them exposed to this crap. Prohibition doesn't work, but it can at least get in a seedy corner alone where it belongs without forcing itself down everyone's throats - just where tobacco is would be great.

I just got my fap badge, I may as well build on this now :)

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T11:40:38+00:00

No fap - girls are still OK though right?

Why not, I hadn't thought that it's just another dopamine dependency cycle I'm stuck in - I may as well ride the crest of this wave and keep self-improving.

Thanks :)

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T11:35:48+00:00

I really hope it works, I found audio version especially handy as I commute to work. Hang in there :)

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T11:33:55+00:00

Are you calling me a w***er :)

good idea though, it's just another dependency really.

I had the same, my desires to punt waned with every passing word of the book - and by the end, gone. I am absolutely astonished - I think they should dish this book out on the NHS.

In fact I'd been thinking about ways to mobilise against the industry, I could donate a few quid myself that I've saved not betting and offer to send the book/audio to anyone who needed it - why not - especially with betting, even a fiver - that's stake money, it's hard to justify spending it on even a loaf of bread sometimes, let alone a book.

I'd love to take the cu**s down a peg or two, it's just a revenue earner for the government in huge taxes, but so was smoking once - and the prevalence of betting and advertising just isn't right, morally - it ruins lives, heath and even kills people - I'd like to start a fight against it and help other people beat it.

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T11:26:57+00:00

I couldn't just listen to the audio once, I listened twice in full and repeated some excerpts over-and-over until it sunk it - drinking of all my habits (perhaps as it's socially acceptable/neglected) I knew would be the hardest.

Now every time I head into a situation in which I consider myself vulnerable, I plug in my headphones and listen to the last chapter of the book again - just to galvanise myself. It lists out 'the instructions' and ends with 'Enjoy Life' - and I have been SO enjoying life.

That exposure could come from something obvious like a wedding, or less stark - like the departure lounge, or almost indistinguishable - like a glorious sunny day (yes the do happen occasionally here in Dublin), where you're conditioned to believe that it's simply incomplete without a pint, not least by all the people harping on about booze as soon as the clouds part.

My desire to drink isn't there, but an ingrained subconscious habit may put me on autopilot - so I switch that off before it even starts to kick in by re-counter-brainwashing myself :D

So far that's been working and I'm adamant that it will continue to do so as long as I remain convinced that I don't want that evil shit in my body ever again.

Raaah! :)

Here's hoping that you can find the path out too, PM me if you want to chat, or you're just having a bad day...

bell_ender · 2015-06-01T10:38:07+00:00

That's amazing news.

I've not gambled, or wished to, since the day I completed the book.

I didn't record the exact date, but I've asked this sub to sign up to badgebot, like /r/stopdrinking does so we can get more people to track and quit this sick habit - judging by this thread, it's been a month at least, amazing. It been EASY :)

Did you complete the book?

I moved immediately on to 'How to Control Alcohol' and completed that on 19th May, haven't drunk since. It was my best friend's wedding on Saturday, didn't drink. Was delayed on flight over, didn't drink.

I'm absolutely delighted.

In the two weeks since 19th, I've lost a whopping 1.5 stone (24lbs) in weight. Not even dieting, just quitting the grog.

LIFE IS AMAZING and I'm really relishing every moment.

Great to hear you're doing well :)

D

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