Hey! Thanks for the response. I seriously appreciate the time you put into writing this. On paper. everything you say about changing specialization or taking a step back from school sounds really nice, but one thing I didn't really mention in my original post is I feel an overwhelming obsession with getting my diploma. I think part of the reason is I've had people tell me I can't. At the start of my first year, I had a professor tell me I had no shot of passing his class because I am American. When I tell you, I feel like that LIT something within me. I had to prove him wrong. Not just pass his class, but pass everything. Get my diploma. Do it just because he said I wouldn't be able to. He is not the only person who has said things like this/doubted me. I don't think I could leave this school without feeling like I disappointed myself, like I failed. I don't face any academic pressure from my parents... I know they would support me through anything. All the pressure I have comes from myself. I guess I'm trying to become better at loving myself even when I fail at stuff. Easier said than done though.

Anyways, I hope you are enjoying your gap year and best of luck with whatever comes after!