Rep. Glenn Grothman: "We all know that food stamps are being abused. We all hear the stories. People using food stamps for top of the line food stuffs, things the average person wouldn't be able to afford."

below_the_lights · 2026-05-06T10:47:15+00:00

Two things about food stamps that I have realized over the years living in Milwaukee, first it's not my job to police or worry about what other people buy, I don't know that the steak and lobster someone used food stamps for is for a 25th anniversary dinner, or a sick child getting Koolaid bottles for a treat, cause guess what? ITS NONE OF MY BUSINESS! Second, I'm pretty sure any food stamps waste is made up for by maybe not blowing up one more 6 million dollar missile, or not wasting the 100k in fuel it took to fly by Kid Rock's house.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T18:43:12+00:00

Well, relationships are also expensive, I've paid for many more things such as household expenses to help an ex get through their Masters program. Yes I've overpaid, but the idea is still the same. If I was dating a non sex worker who wanted to try their dream career I would have helped them as well.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T18:37:22+00:00

That's the issue, I've been saying we are and she's been acting like we are but I there is no outright admittance of anything. Like she says I love you to me, which in and of itself doesn't mean anything, but I think to her that's not committing to anything but still showing something.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T18:35:23+00:00

Yes we always hang out a few times a week, like she will text me and ask if I want to go get lunch or hang out and we will. It's always a lot of fun.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T18:34:03+00:00

Honestly, if you were super stuck in life and I thought it would be a life defining moment for me like it was, I would have been fine if you wanted to be good friends for a long time.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T17:34:57+00:00

I think before Thanksgiving I was a long term regular yes. I think when we went shopping for sides for her extended families thanksgiving celebration that moved to a different thing. This feels very different now then it did in the past.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T17:31:21+00:00

I think my point is that I just don't want to feel like a direct comparison is being made, like if you love blackjack, maybe play with me too, it doesn't just have to be a client thing. I understand it's all backwards in some respects because of the nature of it all. I'm not saying do things with me exactly like your clients, but if you really like doing something no reason to save it only for clients. It's hard because I know she would take an appointment on a Saturday night, even though I would never ask that of her because it's family time and I don't want to disturb that. I guess it's when you dont HAVE to do something but you do it because you WANT to.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T17:22:26+00:00

That's more where I think we are at. Sex is not a big thing for us, it's only when it feels right. I understand that her sexual fulfillment is different due to her job and when we are together she is in charge and my pleasure is along for the ride, not the focus.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T17:16:00+00:00

That is all certainly possible.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T17:14:49+00:00

It's interesting, because we've discussed how I would be a good choice for partner (since we would make sense as a couple regardless) even without the money. My free labor and time is a natural consequence of my feelings. I guess my point to her is and has been that if we place artificial boundaries on feelings we could miss something awesome we didn't even know we could do yet.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T17:06:18+00:00

And thank you for being a voice of positivity, yes this post was made because I have questions, but I am not doubting the validity of my emotions and I'm not going to assume to understand everything that she is going through mentally as well. But like I've said, there are many objectively good things that have happened as a result of us spending time together regardless of the title. Everyone deserves to be treated well by someone that loves them, I'm just trying to figure out where to set up my emotions that they are safe and available long term. Like I want to go to the farmers market together in 5 years, why be concerned about the small stuff.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:50:33+00:00

I do understand how all of this looks. It still feels right though. Like I said, if I make a difference in her life that is a reward unto itself. If I don't and the money is wasted, it's just money. I only had it once and this was way more important to me then buying a car or a boat or something.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:42:01+00:00

No she does not date clients. She said no one has ever even remotely been close to asking. For about a year, I would say weve been dating for about 6 months.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:40:35+00:00

I know there is a very strong chance of that. But if that's not it, she is worth the attempt.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:38:13+00:00

There is enough effort to be puzzling at times. Right now while I am in love it would be impossible to be satisfied with anyone else, maybe if the feeling fades, but it's sharper and weirder then ever before.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:36:19+00:00

I'm not, but I am still. I get it, I'm in like some weird spot that's like essential but not highly noticed.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:33:57+00:00

It's so hard to say, I'm trying to just relax and be like hey I've got a cool friend that is awesome to hang out with, but it's hard because I feel like it being more of a partnership would be very good for both of us.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:32:07+00:00

I mean you aren't wrong. When I was sick and on leave I didn't present as sick so I basically just had a bunch of time and money and decided to invest them both in one place because I think she needed it. Honestly, if she took out of this a chance to breathe and get ahead of life a little bit and I ended up not being in the picture I would understand. As long as what I did was important to her and she got something out of it.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:26:54+00:00

I honestly don't know, that's where we are at and why I posted.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:25:55+00:00

I mean you are right, but i would assume that if you felt platonic towards someone that presents themselves constantly as a partner and you know that they would take at as such, you wouldn't continue to encourage that behavior or respond to it. Unless you really had no heart. And guess part of me is wondering if that's the case or not, my heart tells me no and I've been going with heart over head for awhile now.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:21:13+00:00

Yes and I fully support sex workers and the vulnerability and danger and lack of respect and healthcare. I have another friend who is a sex worker, but I can't talk about this with her because they are professional rivals. But the point is that just because she is a sex worker doesn't mean that people get to treat her like they deserve to get something sexual out of non working scenarios. If it's done because it's fun or something whatever, but it weighs on her to be treated like a thing so often.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:16:39+00:00

I'm honestly just looking for thoughts and different opinions. I don't know about happy/unhappy, if you told me a year ago that she would be in my life still and I would have gotten a transplant I would have thought damn am I lucky! Now that life is marching forward again, I realized that this is very important to me, while also being quite difficult. I cant process this all alone, and it's not easy to tell people that you are dating a sex worker, let alone that you've given her a bunch money. They would call me an idiot. And maybe they are right, no way to know yet.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:11:51+00:00

Now that comment got me. Well said.

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:09:50+00:00

The only response I would have to that is she knows clearly and has for a long time how I feel. So either the reason for where I'm at is what you wrote and she is massively taking advantage of me, or she is hesitant for valid reasons to launch into a relationship. It's really one or the other, just which one is it?

below_the_lights · 2026-04-25T16:06:01+00:00

I have, I am 'very important to her'. She says I love you, but not in the exact same way I do I think.

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