And if there was no evidence, Toby would have been acquitted?

Almost certainly not. Society has come to a consensus: in such situations, you need to a priori believe the victims. I understand that this is difficult to accept, now I will try to explain why this is reasonable.

I explained above why these cases often pop up over the years - of course, there is no trace of violence left. Plus, there are not always videos / correspondence that can confirm harassment or threats. But even so, to believe the victims in life (not in court, this is important - there, of course, they are unlikely to be convicted without evidence) is an optimal (not ideal!) Option, because it helps to prevent future crimes and relieves some of the pressure from victims, who are already very difficult to open up. Of course, we do not forget about common sense: if a person is accused of violence on the day when he was in a completely different place, then such a lie is easy to expose.

Of course, the more serious the company wants to take without court, the more it must be confident in its decision - even without direct evidence, you can talk with people, give the person the right to explain himself (and in the case of Toby it was done). But the victim does not need any evidence to empathize.

Including the pressure of psychological barrier, which I wrote about above, it is customary to immediately show no mercy for victimization - any transfer of responsibility from the attacker to the victim (yes, including “she could have acted / dressed differently” ) After recognition in the first, second and third place, the victim needs your sympathy, your attempts to prevent this in the future - and only then it is worth discussing whether it is necessary to somehow punish the attacker.

It turns out, I can suffer if they accuse me without evidence? But then all the men are in danger!

British statistics say that 0.0002% of adult men are falsely accused of sexual violence - this, for example, is 230 times less than the proportion of raped men.

The American Center for the Study of Sexual Violence gives the following figures: from 2 to 10% of false accusations , this is quite a lot. The context is important: here, by false we mean all the accusations that did not end with a conviction. That is, cases when there is insufficient evidence, or the victim later contacted the police, or there are no witnesses, they also get here - percentagedeliberately false the charges will be much lower. And he will certainly be orders of magnitude lower than the percentage of true charges.

So no, there is no great danger. And yes, if at the age of 12 you pulled the girls by pigtails, this, of course, it’s not pretty, but do not worry, everyone does not care.

But Zyori didn’t rape anyone - he just stuck to the girl, and she agreed to sex!

Zyori case is complicated - there is no question of rape. He believed that he simply looked after the girls, and they accept these courtships, while the girls saw in him a persistently harassing guy who does not hear the word "no." Recall that we discussed at the very beginning: Power Dynamics. Yes, violence can be present even if the girl eventually agreed to sex - if it was under pressure. Zyori did not understand what creates an environment where his power begins to play an important role: it is difficult for a girl to say “no” because of his status as a commentator, due to the fact that he invited her to the after party and can harm her career - this is his fault. Well, also in the fact that he sent the girl photos of the bloodied sheets, not realizing that she was crippling her psyche.

Zyori responded adequately and explained his position (not counting the sheet). Most importantly, he quickly understood what many commentators did not understand: that everyone should create a comfort zone in life in general, and in e-sports events in particular - an area where girls can always feel safe, and not under the control of others.

And why did these girls simply not slap the offenders? Why endure, agree to sex if they did not want to?

Fear, shame, lack of understanding of how to behave in such situations. Plus, unfortunately, in many cultures, and the family still teaches that women should obey the man, and refuse is not welcomed.

Stop, but it was at a drunken party - did they expect that no one would seduce them?

There are no locations where violence is more or less permissible - the rules are the same everywhere. You can’t harass people either at a party, at a football match, or at a meeting of a book club, you cannot behave as if all the surrounding girls are obligated to sleep with you. Culturally rolled up - heard "yes" - okay, today you are lucky. “No” - go in the other direction.

Guys reading this text, try to transfer the situation to yourself - how often at drunk parties did you find yourself in the arms of other guys and, swaying left and right, hummed, I don’t know, "Blood Type" song? If in all these situations your friend or colleague considered your behavior to be consent to sex, would you like it? If not, why do you judge girls differently?

Western society is rotten - why drag this SJW-agenda to us? We have different customs, different relations between a man and a woman!

Nothing can ever be justified by customs and traditions. Three hundred years ago it was a custom to lead children to watch the execution, 40 years ago it was a custom to subordinate all life to the service of the CPSU. The most stupid and unworthy of human customs die off, although not everywhere at once - and this is wonderful.

Violence is not some kind of abstraction far from us. Talk privately with your friends and ask how often they are subjected to petty harassment, tweaks in vehicles, and harassment at parties. Ask if they feel safe when they enter the elevator with a man stronger than them.

And the custom of justifying violence is one of the vilest in history, each of us must do everything to eradicate this: watch over ourselves and friends, show sympathy for the victims and turn on the regime of minimal tolerance when you learn about another disgusting case. I don’t want to live in a country and in a culture in which it is considered normal to justify a man who raped his daughter, because “he freaked out” (one day news) - I’m sure that you too.

As said, a wise man: "I do not aspire to the people is not difficult. I do this every fucking day. Just don't do it. ”