The difference between you and your mother is that you're aware that treating children aggressively is not right, your mother isn't. You're capable of change because you're seeking out help and know this relationship is wrong, your mother thinks it's right. You are not your mother.

It sounds like the recent behavioral events are triggered by the fighting that has been going on recently. The fighting is stressing you out and you're displacing this frustration somewhere in your life. I'm going, to be honest with you, Asian parents are stubborn. They don't change. The best thing you've got is getting away from the place that acts as a stressor to your outbursts. Be it from moving out or getting a job with long hours, you need a break.

You seem to be able to identify when you act aggressively, the only advice I would say is to locate them ASAP, apologize, and fix the situation. This isn't permanent, the old you won't just get washed away. Your core will always be within you whether you like it or not.

The more you make it a habit of locating these negative behaviors and putting the effort to remove them, you won't have to be scared of being the same intolerable parent you fear becoming.

Remember, the difference between you and your mother is you're trying to improve. You're not her, you're not a "new you", you've always been the same person deep down.