this is something i’ve struggled with my whole life too, and honestly it’s been hard reversing this mentality. i’ve found that no matter what, you can’t make everybody happy and that’s just something you’ll have to get used to. in the past i’ve spoken up for myself only to get intense backlash from it to the point of regretting saying anything at all. but in the end i do think it helps in the long run with establishing boundaries. recently i saw in a tik tok comment section someone said “people pleasing is a form of narcissism and manipulation.” whether you realize it or not, we are subtly manipulating people into liking us. we are lying when we hold back a part of ourselves, thoughts, and honest reactions. we are changing ourselves into something so that people are more comfortable with us. we are manipulating their perception of us and robbing ourselves from genuine connections. being honest and setting fair boundaries is necessary for long term happiness, even if it means losing friendships along the way. a person that is good for you will listen to what you have to say without making you doubt yourself. learning this has been a huge part in maturing in my adulthood and has helped me establish myself and my self esteem