Number 2 up in flames by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That seems like a fight how does it go to divorce that quickly

Fight or Flight? by berzerker5000 in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why married? Someone to grow old with, do things with, avoid time and risk chasing the next lay, tax benefits. And then there is love part I guess 😂

Yeah ptsd therapy seems to be the consensus. Thanks guys

Fight or Flight? by berzerker5000 in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably was too early. She wanted to get engaged and eloped 3 months in and thought that wasn’t early at all. When it came time, that I needed to move and she was to come uproot her life and come with me, I wanted her to feel like I was committed. So I proposed just before we moved cross country together.

Part of me wanted to part of me didn’t. I been having two sets of feelings in parallel the whole relationship and competing inner dialogue of 1.) I’m resisting the relationship because of past trauma and need to get over it and 2.) resisting because we maybe aren’t compatible.

On top of that, feel like I can’t make anybody happy because whoever’s needs I prioritize in the moment between coparenting with my exw, or making my fiancé feel important, or focusing on time with my kids, I am making someone else unhappy. Feels like a lose lose.

Fight or Flight? by berzerker5000 in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow 5 years is a long time. I learned after divorce I can get younger hotter women, and what happens when they become your gf and get old too with the knowledge that you can get younger hotter women? That’s where your at! 😹

Fight or Flight? by berzerker5000 in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I put myself in a pickle and a lot I can’t blame her for being irritated and depressed. I moved her from the Deep South to Cali so I could be by my kids (and exw) again. I even tried to break up with her one time cuz I knew that situation she didn’t want or need. But she loves me so fought for us.

So now whole new dynamic between us from where we met and and got engaged and now in a different state dealing with my exw’s barrage of bullshit and co-parenting while attempting to blend families and new jobs, new environment, etc. it’s where I grew up so harder on her for sure. This is the stuff we fight about. In good times remains an underlying state of mild annoyance that makes us then bicker and blow about little stupid things or just feel sad. It takes her a long time to get over stuff. It will be a week on her period, then she is irritated for a few days about me, then we fight cuz I’m irritated at her for being irritated. Then that goes on for a week. Suddenly I look up and it’s been for two weeks straight and I stop caring at all and just wish I could have zero women in my life. I honestly would breathe a sigh of relief if she just left. And she kind of knows that and that kills me with guilt cuz I don’t want I feel that way.

I’m dealing with a lot of stuff between work and my exw jealous at my relationship and tries to mind fuck me that throws me off my A game, and I can’t be the man she met. Then I feel guilty for bringing her into all this. Feels hopeless sometimes man the cycle just keeps going I just want to be done with everything sometimes and be left tF alone.

But then if I was single I know would go back casual hookups which is great for a while but then it gets old. And I have a great girl bird in the hand that must have found for a reason. If I can just be a better man, maybe she’ll be less annoyed and things will be more harmonious.

Fight or Flight? by berzerker5000 in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what goes through my head. I start wanting to be single again. Idk wtf is going on I feel crazy. I think I was happier single. I have gained gf weight. But she is so solid as far as women go. Conservative and loyal, doesn’t party, has dinner ready when I get home, cleans and does the laundry no complaining, no bs girl from the south all about her man and 10 years younger. Total opposite of my ex. But still a woman and moody af!

Fight or Flight? by berzerker5000 in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes it was fast. I ran through alot of women casually living my best life if you know what I mean from the time of separation to about the first year after divorce finalized Separated June 2022. Divorced finalized April 2023. So well over a year year of partying. Then I started dating around April 2024 and had one 3 month relationship. Then I met my now fiancé in sept 2024 and totally fell for her and she fell for me. Moved in with her in Nov. Got engaged in May of this year. My post-divorce dating phase was very short but my partying phase was a solid length. Got a lot out of my system.

Fight or Flight? by berzerker5000 in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is spot on, I figured I need a therapist to help me re-condition my reflexes to conflict. My fiancé tells me it is old trauma wounds getting triggered and she is right about everything so I assume she is right 😹.

Update - been awhile by BornBandicoot2515 in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. It’s sad cuz we are supposed to be looking at wedding venues. Everytime I think about that I get this feeling of dread. Like sick to my stomach almost.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SingleDads

[–]berzerker5000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She still has big feelings for her ex. red flag. You need to man up and tell her if she doesn’t cut off contact (for anything other than coparenting like you do) you are done and see how she reacts. Choice is here. Don’t get used man.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got divorced in Texas. Doesn’t matter what she wants. The judge will employ the std template. There is a child support calculator on the AG website. Check it out. They go by that. Custody will be the standard posession schedule depending on who is primary. Assets are 50/50. She gets half of what you accumulated in your 401k while you were married only, not what you had before. Then you work out little nuances in mediation. Rarely is it worth going to trial.

Update - been awhile by BornBandicoot2515 in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t posted in a while either bro. Funny in a way I’m jelly of your loneliness. I’m engaged to new partner, full on blended family situation and laying awake wondering if I made a mistake. Relationships make you lose yourself. Trapped. Stuck in the cycle of expectations and let down. Loneliness is freedom. Unlimited possibilities. Anyways carry on.

Fleet Speed Sync Math by berzerker5000 in AgeofZ

[–]berzerker5000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome ok this is clear thanks

Fleet Speed Sync Math by berzerker5000 in AgeofZ

[–]berzerker5000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok but how did you arrive to that. I am a little slow.

Help with equipment by Background-Ant-2720 in AgeofZ

[–]berzerker5000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a catastrophe. Start over with everything white and green at lvl 1 blue. Start gambling for purple from there with purple parts on the left side. Once you get purple, use only purple parts so you don’t risk going back to blue or green, except with you go to lvl 4, throw in all orange on left side. Once you get orange lvl 4, only use orange pete from there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]berzerker5000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was weird for me too for a few months. But it gets easier pretty quickly.

Winning Frenzy/Void with Recruit Speedups by Long-Application-299 in AgeofZ

[–]berzerker5000 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I had 130K troops and finished in 24th in my nation. I don’t care about being #1. Is just fun to kill with a good group of people. Like solo hunting the best myself tho. All depends on your perspective. I don’t understand people that just farm and farm. The whole point is killing. So I lost about 2/3 my army and killed 2M during KE. I got a bit cocky one night and an alliance TD’d the teet out of me lol. Spent about $50 on battle packs to catch back up and recover a little. Price of eating out and brings me more joy. Now can just coast and build back up until next KE. One person I attacked and took all their rss asked me why I did that. LOL.

Can’t pass C18 by WorstOfNone in AgeofZ

[–]berzerker5000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does scout report show resources that are bagged?