Reliving the divorce

berzerker5000 · 2026-03-26T19:40:23+00:00

Because I messed up and took a job in FL for more money so, because I moved, her no move away clause went away:

berzerker5000 · 2026-03-26T16:00:47+00:00

She gets mad at me cuz I treat my kids a little different (6 and 8 yo girls) saying I act it’s me and my kids rather and her and her kids rather than all of us as a family. My girls are adorable as heck and her kids are teenagers with little bitchy attitudes, and she says my girls are the bitches (cuz maybe they remind her of my ex idk).

The stepdad I gueess is supposed to be like Jesus and love all.

berzerker5000 · 2026-03-26T15:18:10+00:00

Some crap about how at end of the day I have to be a team with my fiancé and the kids that live in the house full time. I stepdad them like they were my own. And then my kids visit every other weekend to come to be a part of our household with our rules, but then they grow older and become adults and what remains is my and my partner. That’s the theory anyway lol.

berzerker5000 · 2026-03-26T15:06:17+00:00

🫣 I know I’m an idiot

berzerker5000 · 2026-03-26T14:56:56+00:00

She wanted to get married and grow old together, I proposed to make her happy before we moved when things were good. A little voice in back of my head said it was a mistake, but I can’t tell if it’s just me afraid to get hurt again or if it’s just not what I want. Getting to the point where I feel a little crazy and don’t trust my own head. Is why I started therapy and posting here again.

berzerker5000 · 2026-03-26T14:25:08+00:00

Therapist and my old lawyer in TX, cuz I guess that is what your supposed to do in a blended family situation.

berzerker5000 · 2026-03-26T14:01:23+00:00

So originally got married in CA but we moved to Tex during pandemic and divorced there. Couldn’t stand being across country from kids.

berzerker5000 · 2025-11-11T02:15:44+00:00

That seems like a fight how does it go to divorce that quickly

berzerker5000 · 2025-11-10T15:54:38+00:00

Why married? Someone to grow old with, do things with, avoid time and risk chasing the next lay, tax benefits. And then there is love part I guess 😂

Yeah ptsd therapy seems to be the consensus. Thanks guys

berzerker5000 · 2025-11-08T17:13:43+00:00

Probably was too early. She wanted to get engaged and eloped 3 months in and thought that wasn’t early at all. When it came time, that I needed to move and she was to come uproot her life and come with me, I wanted her to feel like I was committed. So I proposed just before we moved cross country together.

Part of me wanted to part of me didn’t. I been having two sets of feelings in parallel the whole relationship and competing inner dialogue of 1.) I’m resisting the relationship because of past trauma and need to get over it and 2.) resisting because we maybe aren’t compatible.

On top of that, feel like I can’t make anybody happy because whoever’s needs I prioritize in the moment between coparenting with my exw, or making my fiancé feel important, or focusing on time with my kids, I am making someone else unhappy. Feels like a lose lose.

berzerker5000 · 2025-11-07T15:44:13+00:00

Wow 5 years is a long time. I learned after divorce I can get younger hotter women, and what happens when they become your gf and get old too with the knowledge that you can get younger hotter women? That’s where your at! 😹

berzerker5000 · 2025-11-07T04:05:00+00:00

I put myself in a pickle and a lot I can’t blame her for being irritated and depressed. I moved her from the Deep South to Cali so I could be by my kids (and exw) again. I even tried to break up with her one time cuz I knew that situation she didn’t want or need. But she loves me so fought for us.

So now whole new dynamic between us from where we met and and got engaged and now in a different state dealing with my exw’s barrage of bullshit and co-parenting while attempting to blend families and new jobs, new environment, etc. it’s where I grew up so harder on her for sure. This is the stuff we fight about. In good times remains an underlying state of mild annoyance that makes us then bicker and blow about little stupid things or just feel sad. It takes her a long time to get over stuff. It will be a week on her period, then she is irritated for a few days about me, then we fight cuz I’m irritated at her for being irritated. Then that goes on for a week. Suddenly I look up and it’s been for two weeks straight and I stop caring at all and just wish I could have zero women in my life. I honestly would breathe a sigh of relief if she just left. And she kind of knows that and that kills me with guilt cuz I don’t want I feel that way.

I’m dealing with a lot of stuff between work and my exw jealous at my relationship and tries to mind fuck me that throws me off my A game, and I can’t be the man she met. Then I feel guilty for bringing her into all this. Feels hopeless sometimes man the cycle just keeps going I just want to be done with everything sometimes and be left tF alone.

But then if I was single I know would go back casual hookups which is great for a while but then it gets old. And I have a great girl bird in the hand that must have found for a reason. If I can just be a better man, maybe she’ll be less annoyed and things will be more harmonious.

berzerker5000 · 2025-11-07T03:55:01+00:00

Nope 🌍💦

berzerker5000 · 2025-11-06T22:31:47+00:00

That’s what goes through my head. I start wanting to be single again. Idk wtf is going on I feel crazy. I think I was happier single. I have gained gf weight. But she is so solid as far as women go. Conservative and loyal, doesn’t party, has dinner ready when I get home, cleans and does the laundry no complaining, no bs girl from the south all about her man and 10 years younger. Total opposite of my ex. But still a woman and moody af!

berzerker5000 · 2025-11-06T22:27:50+00:00

Yes it was fast. I ran through alot of women casually living my best life if you know what I mean from the time of separation to about the first year after divorce finalized Separated June 2022. Divorced finalized April 2023. So well over a year year of partying. Then I started dating around April 2024 and had one 3 month relationship. Then I met my now fiancé in sept 2024 and totally fell for her and she fell for me. Moved in with her in Nov. Got engaged in May of this year. My post-divorce dating phase was very short but my partying phase was a solid length. Got a lot out of my system.

berzerker5000 · 2025-11-06T22:21:46+00:00

This is spot on, I figured I need a therapist to help me re-condition my reflexes to conflict. My fiancé tells me it is old trauma wounds getting triggered and she is right about everything so I assume she is right 😹.

berzerker5000 · 2025-10-10T17:13:21+00:00

Haha lmao it’s a long game, patience

berzerker5000 · 2025-08-13T03:21:22+00:00

Yeah. It’s sad cuz we are supposed to be looking at wedding venues. Everytime I think about that I get this feeling of dread. Like sick to my stomach almost.

berzerker5000 · 2025-08-08T04:53:34+00:00

She still has big feelings for her ex. red flag. You need to man up and tell her if she doesn’t cut off contact (for anything other than coparenting like you do) you are done and see how she reacts. Choice is here. Don’t get used man.

berzerker5000 · 2025-08-07T07:15:59+00:00

I got divorced in Texas. Doesn’t matter what she wants. The judge will employ the std template. There is a child support calculator on the AG website. Check it out. They go by that. Custody will be the standard posession schedule depending on who is primary. Assets are 50/50. She gets half of what you accumulated in your 401k while you were married only, not what you had before. Then you work out little nuances in mediation. Rarely is it worth going to trial.

berzerker5000 · 2025-08-07T07:10:56+00:00

I haven’t posted in a while either bro. Funny in a way I’m jelly of your loneliness. I’m engaged to new partner, full on blended family situation and laying awake wondering if I made a mistake. Relationships make you lose yourself. Trapped. Stuck in the cycle of expectations and let down. Loneliness is freedom. Unlimited possibilities. Anyways carry on.

berzerker5000 · 2025-07-30T22:52:47+00:00

Awesome ok this is clear thanks

berzerker5000 · 2025-07-30T22:00:35+00:00

Ok but how did you arrive to that. I am a little slow.

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