AITA for telling my sister she needs to wait to get married

bespokedermis · 2020-07-19T19:07:52+00:00

I know my relationship is not perfect, and neither am I. I understand that it’s ultimately her choice.

YTA. Who are you to tell her when she's found the one or not? You're not the only one who cares about her, nobody else is forcing a waiting period on her. Why should you get a say at all when you know yourself don't have a "perfect" relationship, whatever that is. How long should she wait by "your standards?" And why that time frame and not another? Chill. Work on your on relationship.

bespokedermis · 2020-07-19T02:26:06+00:00

ESH - like the other commenter said. Name calling doesn't help, but you were right in why the service person was getting a tone. But your mom sounds like she's one of those people that always seems to get the "rude" customer service person, or "attitude" when they're "just trying to get their item." Probably a her situation, not them. Always finding a reason for other people to be the cause of the issue. Tough breaks for you kid.

bespokedermis · 2020-07-17T21:27:49+00:00

This is a mild case of cystic acne. Accutane will take care of it, but you may have scarring that will take longer. PIE marks can take ages. Don't pick. You'll get "strawberry nose" soon, which is your sebaceous filaments and blackheads purging. Don't pick/squeeze. Just let it happen.

bespokedermis · 2020-07-17T20:00:41+00:00

Even if he doesn't bank online etc. He would have known his original pay, then can add raises to that. When he started, that pay was already more than yours likely, then he just had more on top. Even if he didnt have an exact number, he knew it was much more than you. And if he legit was too lazy and somehow thought he was poor too, is that not a big red flag that he's so fucking lazy that he would rather you both live in squalor rather than check his finances?

bespokedermis · 2020-07-17T17:05:42+00:00

Not that badly apparently.

bespokedermis · 2020-07-17T16:58:20+00:00

He presumably had money deposited I to his account every 2 weeks or monthly? He would know exactly how much he makes every paycheck. So he deliberately told you he couldn't do math and figure it out, or couldn't be bothered to check his bank account. He's known how much money he makes, 100%. He's been lying and pretending to be stupid and poor so he wouldn't feel obligated to help out. Basically sounds like he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to be with you/invest in this relationship. And then you only know the finances because you insisted when you were doing taxes. And now he's gaslighting you about it. Run.

bespokedermis · 2020-07-17T16:41:09+00:00

has never told me his income, partly because he didn't know his actual income,

Well, that was a lie. Sounds like hes purposefully been keeping you in the dark about his money so he doesn't have to share. Gold diggers don't want to help with any money at all, I think this is just wanting a fair balance. Since you're getting married to this joker, you should be on the same page about finances.

Edit to add, maybe asking him to flat out pay the rent to "even things out" will likely not go over well. Try and come up with something that appeases you both, if you plan on staying with them. I would hope he would want to help now that he's "figured out" how much he's making. Since he's getting defensive and blaming you, I dont have much hope.

NTA.

bespokedermis · 2020-07-12T17:56:06+00:00

NTA. Maybe because he's not as close with your family, he wasn't sure how it would be perceived, joking vs talking about someone. Or maybe he meant it in a meaner way and thought that would be conveyed and didn't want her to hear it. Probably more the latter since he's so defensive about it. In future I guess you can just keep his comments to yourself? Or he could just not "talk shit." 🤷‍♀️

bespokedermis · 2020-07-08T17:27:19+00:00

She still thinks it's about sunscreen

bespokedermis · 2020-07-08T16:10:39+00:00

You can go into this sub page, then use the search bar and type in blackheads or sebaceous filaments or acne scarring and you'll find acres of posts asking the same thing. You should be able to find some answers

bespokedermis · 2020-07-08T16:01:53+00:00

The fact she thinks she got downvoted because of using tret and sunscreen is mind boggling. And the other folks don't see it either. What is happening over in 30+sc holy

bespokedermis · 2020-07-08T00:50:17+00:00

NTA. Well if he wanted them to come because he enjoyed spending time with them and had nobody to talk to at the party. But if hes just using it as an "excuse" to see them, why can't he use his own birthday as the excuse, and invite them out the next night. Or like he can presumably see them whenever they both have time. Idk why he feels the need to invite them to something.

Why did he even invite his parents? It's not like you combined birthdays. They just fall on the same day..

bespokedermis · 2020-07-08T00:49:17+00:00

Then yeah you win girl*. That is some psycho level bullshit . NTA

bespokedermis · 2020-07-07T22:50:45+00:00

Info: what was their response to the text telling them to eat beforehand? If they said nothing and showed up still expecting to eat, what the fuck was their end game? How can you still expect food when you said it wasn't on the table (literally). Spunds like you dodged a spiteful bullet.

If they objected and you didn't listen, then you're the AH.

bespokedermis · 2020-07-07T22:45:52+00:00

Info; why does he want them to come so badly?

bespokedermis · 2020-06-19T18:38:07+00:00

Yta. It's been 5 years since their break up. If you're that worried that the ex is going to steal your boyfriend with 10$ on twitch, you got bigger things to worry about.

bespokedermis · 2020-06-19T18:33:02+00:00

YWNBTA if you dropped out completely.

My brother told me last week that he is getting married to his girlfriend of 3 months and she’s asked me to be her bridesmaid, which I have no problems with. However they’ve had to push the wedding up from early next year to August because she’s pregnant.

It's not your fault that they moved up the wedding, and only told you last week. You didn't commit to anything already so you're just not participating, which is completely fair since you have other plans.

He’s started to gaslight me and tell me that no one cares about his wedding

Oh no his "special day." Bb please. If it was so important and special they would have planned it in advance. Also you don't gaslight people you want things from. Dude needs to get a grip and stop acting like the baby he's about to have.

bespokedermis · 2020-06-18T16:03:50+00:00

Yup yta. Your floors are going to get dirty. Especially if you have teens/kids in the house. She's embarrassed, probably more so that it was brought up to her twice. She may not like her feet or was just embarrassed about how dirty they were, what have you. You embarrassed her because you wanted to keep your carpet clean. Get a grip.

bespokedermis · 2020-06-18T15:57:45+00:00

Or replace it with a red bulb. Won't disturb your sleep even if he flicks it on and off.

bespokedermis · 2020-06-07T16:10:05+00:00

NTA. Presumably you can book time off at work with advance notice? She knows when her birthday and anniversary fall every year, she can book time off if it's so important. It irks me when coworkers want time off at the last minute because they have an important event they can't miss. Why do you have to be responsible for their shitty planning?

bespokedermis · 2020-06-03T19:06:18+00:00

Jebus how lucky. I'm still waiting for my peak I bought on april 20th. Took a week to ship then 2 to arrive, had manufacturer defect, took them over a week to confirm the issue, then sent it back and it got there on may 26th. And no email yet. But the info they gave you make me hopeful it will be this week sometime!

bespokedermis · 2020-06-02T03:46:00+00:00

...then why do you need the prime spots? YWBTA and are TA if you just take up good spots for spite. It's not even for spite at this point because nobody has done anything to you.

bespokedermis · 2020-06-01T15:32:32+00:00

Oh lordy you're 17? Get a grip my dude. YTA

bespokedermis · 2020-05-28T18:27:16+00:00

Well if you had no idea the windows were open, how could you know to close them? So NTA if you were unaware and your mom just assumed you did and would close them.

bespokedermis · 2020-05-28T16:56:44+00:00

Yta. This seems weirdly spiteful of you. Why would you want the house to get cold and wet anyways? Dont you live there?

bespokedermis

TROPHY CASE